Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

thejonesfamily

furndire wrote: »

Sorry, I didn't read it properly - shame.

although, it could be a "whodunnit". Imagine a houseful of blind scrabblers.

The opening line could be

"Enid couldnt see who pushed her down the stairs as someone put the green cloth scrabble bag over her head"

"It wasnt the suffocation Enid died from, but someone from the blind scabblers left the letter X which got caught in her throat"

"She knew it was the letter X as her tonsils could read braille".

Oh my god, I need help....

DevilsAdvocate1

clutton wrote: »

in lancashire - till not so long ago - it used to be traditional for the dead person to be returned by the undertaker to the house they had died in - and then neighbours and family came to keep them company, pay their respects, and have a pre-funeral wake, the night before the funeral.... a grand time was had by all

That happened when my nana died 10 years ago. She lived on her own before she died, but some of the family stayed in her house that night and got drunk. They were all moaning about hangovers at her funeral the next day.

D.

clutton_2

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

That happened when my nana died 10 years ago. She lived on her own before she died, but some of the family stayed in her house that night and got drunk. They were all moaning about hangovers at her funeral the next day.

D.

Dont be soooo irreverent !!! its not called "getting drunk" , its "paying their respects" which involves consumption of some whiskey and some bacon sandwiches about 4.00am in the Lancashire/Irish communities !!!!

john539

COOLTRIKERCHICK wrote: »

this thread is moving so fast i am losing track of where i have read up to, so now i am thanking everyone and using it as a
bookmark:cool::rotfl:

Too right.

Last time I checked was few days ago, now there's a Funeral !, haven't the foggiest how yet, need to do catch up.

tiggs239

thestar.com.my/metro/story.asp?file=/2009/9/8/central/4630616&sec

Found this blind scrabble group.

Katgrit

clutton wrote: »

Dont be soooo irreverent !!! its not called "getting drunk" , its "paying their respects" which involves consumption of some whiskey and some bacon sandwiches about 4.00am in the Lancashire/Irish communities !!!!

Joke: (have to point that out as evidently some folks lurking on here are severly missing a sense of humour) Whats the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?

Theres one less drunk at the wake.

clutton_2

""Theres one less drunk at the wake. " - classic !!!!!!!!

thejonesfamily

well, call me Gok Wan, Edna will be pleased with the clothes we have finally chosen

I suggested warm colours as she had a warm complexion so we found a mustard cardigan, green pleated skirt, barely black tights, a pair of brown suede slips ons, big pair of bloomers (Mrs C said she doesnt want Ednas "black box" to get cold) and a yellowing bra.

As she was a chain smoker, we are cremating her with a packet of Berkeley Menthols which I have been tasked with buying from the petrol station. Mr C commented that is a bit of a waste of money, but Edna loved smoking so much she would have smoked all 20 at once if she could. In theory that may come true.

They have selected a photograph of her family from a wedding in 2003 which they are placing in her handbag along with her favourite lavender perfume (images of a loud bang whilst we are all filing outside of the crematorium) and Mr C has given her a pearl necklace.

So there we have it, any more and they may struggle to nail the lid down. If it were me, I would have slipped an Ambi Pur in as well.

samuel.s

thejonesfamily wrote: »

well, call me Gok Wan, Edna will be pleased with the clothes we have finally chosen

I suggested warm colours as she had a warm complexion so we found a mustard cardigan, green pleated skirt, barely black tights, a pair of brown suede slips ons, big pair of bloomers (Mrs C said she doesnt want Ednas "black box" to get cold) and a yellowing bra.

As she was a chain smoker, we are cremating her with a packet of Berkeley Menthols which I have been tasked with buying from the petrol station. Mr C commented that is a bit of a waste of money, but Edna loved smoking so much she would have smoked all 20 at once if she could. In theory that may come true.

They have selected a photograph of her family from a wedding in 2003 which they are placing in her handbag along with her favourite lavender perfume (images of a loud bang whilst we are all filing outside of the crematorium) and Mr C has given her a pearl necklace.

So there we have it, any more and they may struggle to nail the lid down. If it were me, I would have slipped an Ambi Pur in as well.

"And Mr C has given her a pearl necklace" did he learn that trick from the joy of sex too?

poppysarah

thejonesfamily wrote: »

As she was a chain smoker, we are cremating her with a packet of Berkeley Menthols which I have been tasked with buying from the petrol station.

They did this with my OH's auntie last january.
She was a bit of a joker in life so it was amusing when it came to move the curtain around the coffin it was stuck and wouldn't move until someone climbed up and moved it.