Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

thejonesfamily

SonjaLiK wrote: »

I am assuming the elderly incontinent members of the blind scrabble society will relieve their urges in your premises?

holy s***, I didnt think that one through.

I will have to get braille toilet roll as I wouldnt want them getting confused with the flash wipes that live in the bathroom

patman99

Could always suggest they hire a portaloo for the day.

maninthestreet

thejonesfamily wrote: »

Yes, that could happen, but I am afraid the puppy is vegetarian. He loves the Linda McCartney sausages.

Well, quick update, and because I think it will have some hilarity and because without the Clampetts in my life right now all I will have to look forward forward to is Mrs Js New Years Vegetarianism and endless packing and humping, I have authorised the camper thing.

What I will be intreagued at is whether the coffin can remain overnight or whether it will be on a day release? I have never seena dead body before and part of me wants to pay my respects.

Surely the corpse will begin to smell after a day or so? Or will it be embalmed ???

charlie-chan

thejonesfamily wrote: »

holy s***, I didnt think that one through.

I will have to get braille toilet roll as I wouldnt want them getting confused with the flash wipes that live in the bathroom

Also make sure that the plastic sheet + puppy isn't at the top of the stairs again, we don't want a re-enactment of how Mrs Clampett fell down the stairs.

mirrorimage0

i bet they end up asking staying in your spare room that night as there will be no room for them all in the camper van lol

thejonesfamily

mirrorimage0 wrote: »

i bet they end up asking staying in your spare room that night as there will be no room for them all in the camper van lol

No I didnt want to say it on here, but they dont want Mum left on her own.

SonjaLiK

thejonesfamily wrote: »

No I didnt want to say it on here, but they dont want Mum left on her own.

However, when she was alive they were happy enough to let her sleep in a house with two complete strangers. Hmm. :huh:

clutton_2

this just gets better and better and better.....


braille toilet paper..... speechless.... utterly speechless.... if this gets any funnier i will have to bring on the Billy Connolly incontinence trousers !!!!!


i could send you a couple of pairs special delivery if you would like Mr Jones....

thejonesfamily

I am not long home, just walking around in my Calvin Kleins well Matalan's Colin Klimes, and the doorbell goes.

Mrs is in the bath getting prepped for our date night and so I answered it to an elderly man in a dark suit who appears to be from the Local funeral parlour.

So now he is downstairs with a cup of tea with the Clampetts LAUGHING? I didnt realise coming to discuss coffins included a range of knock knock jokes...

thejonesfamily

thejonesfamily wrote: »

I am not long home, just walking around in my Calvin Kleins well Matalan's Colin Klimes, and the doorbell goes.

Mrs is in the bath getting prepped for our date night and so I answered it to an elderly man in a dark suit who appears to be from the Local funeral parlour.

So now he is downstairs with a cup of tea with the Clampetts LAUGHING? I didnt realise coming to discuss coffins included a range of knock knock jokes...

OMG:eek:

Just nipped downstairs again to earwig and if I heard them right, they want a joint funeral service for the mum and dad. The funeral director asked when father died and it was September.

He asked where the remains were and Mrs C, looking at me said "On the microwave"

The FD asked how the funeral was carried out and Mrs C replied to the effect of "we didnt have one". The Co-op took him when he passed over and brought back the ashes two weeks later. Fathers wish was to have a joint funeral with Mum and he didnt want any expense spared.

Pinch me - i think I am cancelling this years holiday to Devon. Weird people.