Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

honeywes

My mum got cremated with a metal hip. Cant wait for the Clampets to become your neighbours Jones family - this one can run and run!!!

Keep it up, your thread has taken over my life - I have to rush home to catch the latest installment, long may it continue.

Beats the tele anyday!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!:rotfl:

freezspirit

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1313872/News-in-brief.html

Blind darts player scores 180

A BLIND darts player has recorded a perfect score of 180 while playing for a pub team. Steve Geary, 42, who lost his sight 20 years ago after a viral infection, scored three treble 20s with his first throws in a league match.
Mr Geary, 42, who plays for the Bishop's Blaze pub, Romsey, Hampshire, said: "I wasn't that surprised when the first dart scored 60 because I do get trebles occasionally. So I kept my aim in the same place."

Actually my brother blind and when he was at school now over twenty years ago I remember him saying he played darts that were adapted/ or a proto type basically when he aimed at the board, sounds would help him with his focus of the target. Interesting I also remember him telling me about when he was in the scouts they did archery (imagine about 12 all blind boys on the playing field with real bows and arrows. Or another time when they let them loose in a mini on the playground.

Also after reading this thread all I have thought about is the puppy, has it had its injections, worming and vet visit etc.

poppysarah

thejonesfamily wrote: »

The dog is ours so will move with us.

tempted to buy the scrabble set now

So how does that work? Do you dip in the bag to pick your letters still?

BlondeHeadOn

poppysarah wrote: »

So how does that work? Do you dip in the bag to pick your letters still?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

SonjaLiK

This is brilliant!
I have read all 33 pages in one go, it is soooo good.
Mr Jones, you are extremely funny, a brilliant writer and have an amazing imagination, you really should consider a change of career.

I am not even sure what I am hoping for here; a part of me hopes it's not true and a part hopes it is.
It would be really unbelievable that anyone can be soooo rude and cheeky.

Keep on updating, please. It is brilliant reading.

furndire

thejonesfamily wrote: »

I would have said that it is far more productive of your time not to troll the "saddos" who post.

I have only just realised that this thread has over 110,000 hits and I have been thanked 1043 times in 111 posts. I would argue based on statistics that this thread serves more good than harm.

And so say all of us :beer:

thejonesfamily

Update

Just had a call from Mrs Jones at home.

It would appear from her morninG conversation with Herr Clampett that the body has OR IS being released for burial/cremation so they are busy arranging the funeral. However, they have run an idea past us that I think is alright in principle given that they have now exchanged contracts with us.

The funeral dates to be confirmed are late next week and it will be a cremation, the plan is to spread Mum and Dad and the Cats ashes together following the crem back down in Devon where they hope to drive back down and then back up to move in.

With regards to the funeral service, there are it seems a broad family base of god children, grandchildren children old neighbours, the blind scrabble society that would like to pay their respects as she past so suddently and to do that would mean an open casket (eek). Anyway, Mrs J's immediate thought was that Herr C was on the ask to borrow our dining room table, but it seems they are wanting (subject to talking to the funeral director) to lay out the coffin in the campervan so people can come by on the day before and say goodbye in private.

"Obviously" Herr Clampett said "This is not our house until completion, but would you mind a few people parking in the drive and being outside the house on the day, It is just that we thought completion would be next week but your vendor has delayed things by another week"

On one hand, it is slightly grotesque to think our driveway is going to be full of men with white sticks, but on the other hand, it isnt going to cause an issue is it, I mean they are committed now?

Mrs J is making out she cant reach me to give them a formal answer, so I can decide.

SonjaLiK

I am assuming the elderly incontinent members of the blind scrabble society will relieve their urges in your premises?

easy

thejonesfamily wrote: »

On one hand, it is slightly grotesque to think our driveway is going to be full of men with white sticks

You don't think it somewhat grotesque that there will be a corpse in the campervan in your drive tho ???:laugh:


I think I can see where this is leading ......

Bonbon

I'm not sure that this is actually all real, as I really can't see anyone getting themselves into this situation.The events happening are like a soap and surely just don't happen in real life.
BUT, fact or fiction, I LOVE IT! Like the others I am completely hooked and can't wait for the next episode. :T Carry on.
:idea: sounds like the beginning of a film title.