Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

hazyjo

LegalBlonde wrote: »

...but dear Mr Jones, a quote from a member on your last thread, about your dodgy seller activities.....I think what goes around has well and truly come around for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blimey...I'm glad I won't be buying another property anytime soon...I would hate to think I bought off someone like you.

GLUE the bannisters back in place!? Or offer a measly £50 to your buyers for the fact that you've cut them down!?

Oh nooooo he was the 'bannisters' man too. I fell for that hook line an' all (vaguely remember telling someone about it too - oh dear. I need to get out more lol). What a muppet.

Carry on though

:T

Jx

dawyldthing

Mr Jones, you are a legend! I wonder if your our old Sociology teacher as he used to come out with random stuff like this!

chrissiesurfergirl123

More!!!!!!!!

martinbuckley

thejonesfamily wrote: »

further to the above posts, I will stop posting then. I was genuinely looking for a little guidance and to share my house moving issue, but i dont think i will bother now.

That promise didnt last long did it...

sheslookinhot

martinbuckley wrote: »

That promise didnt last long did it...

pointless post, move on if you will.

This is better than prime time, keeping up with the Joneses :T

Morglin

Brilliant thread - funniest thing I've read in ages.:rotfl::rotfl:

Thanks.:T

Lin

thejonesfamily

Good morning, well we are pleased to tell you that we are the new owners of the puppy.

Why, you may ask...

Well, I took Mr Clampett to the yard this morning to release the motorhome and we left the wives at home. Turns out the Clampetts are brassic and it was embarrasing when we turned up to pay for the release of the motorhome (small mortgage required) to find that he doesnt have the money. So we swapped the puppy for the payment of the vehicle as they couldnt afford more debt and his credit card was cancelled when the card last expired.

In the car on the way down he confessed that they had to downsize and move to Dinas to pay for debts that Mrs Clampett had run up. He regaled the tale of her Littlewoods account and how she had treated him last year to a 50 inch TV on her "bingo winnings", but she confessed that her Bingo wings were the closest to bingo she had ever been and that she was massively in debt. She took out a provident loan to pay for the puppy to please him and he said the dog was a reminder of a loan shark, especially when it bites him. They have completed early on their house to get away from the area asap.

He also shed a bit of a tear now he expects a driving ban. Mrs Clampet doesnt drive and therefore they are going to have to get jobs locally in retail as it will have to be walking distance. I tried to remain positive afterall, we cant have them pulling out. I told them BP were always looking out for toilet cleaners.

So we came back home and Mr and Mrs went to the bedroom. We could hear raised voices, Mrs was crying about the puppy and they are still in there now. I can hear muffled voices from the bedroom as I sit in the study with the Puppy chewing off Cindy's leg underneath the desk. Mrs Jones is happy about the puppy but as she has just reminded me, I have to go and pick up the shi te from the garden as a) it is our dog and b) we cant leave the house in a mess for the buyers.

martinbuckley

sheslookinhot wrote: »

pointless thread, move on if you will.

Tidied for you...

onetomany

thejonesfamily wrote: »

Good morning, well we are pleased to tell you that we are the new owners of the puppy.

Why, you may ask...

Well, I took Mr Clampett to the yard this morning to release the motorhome and we left the wives at home. Turns out the Clampetts are brassic and it was embarrasing when we turned up to pay for the release of the motorhome (small mortgage required) to find that he doesnt have the money. So we swapped the puppy for the payment of the vehicle as they couldnt afford more debt and his credit card was cancelled when the card last expired.

In the car on the way down he confessed that they had to downsize and move to Dinas to pay for debts that Mrs Clampett had run up. He regaled the tale of her Littlewoods account and how she had treated him last year to a 50 inch TV on her "bingo winnings", but she confessed that her Bingo wings were the closest to bingo she had ever been and that she was massively in debt. She took out a provident loan to pay for the puppy to please him and he said the dog was a reminder of a loan shark, especially when it bites him. They have completed early on their house to get away from the area asap.

He also shed a bit of a tear now he expects a driving ban. Mrs Clampet doesnt drive and therefore they are going to have to get jobs locally in retail as it will have to be walking distance. I tried to remain positive afterall, we cant have them pulling out. I told them BP were always looking out for toilet cleaners.

So we came back home and Mr and Mrs went to the bedroom. We could hear raised voices, Mrs was crying about the puppy and they are still in there now. I can hear muffled voices from the bedroom as I sit in the study with the Puppy chewing off Cindy's leg underneath the desk. Mrs Jones is happy about the puppy but as she has just reminded me, I have to go and pick up the shi te from the garden as a) it is our dog and b) we cant leave the house in a mess for the buyers.

omg pmsl:rotfl:next thing will be u taking the wife in exchange for eletric bill

RacyRed

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Loved the loan shark bit. Whats the puppy called?

martinbuckley, if you are not enjoying this, please move on. As you can see, loads of us are really enjoying it.