Worried sick, my daughter losing weight/won't eat

WorriedMum1_3

Hi I am extremely worried about my seemingly fine/happy/healthy daughter. I have another account which I am active on but don't want some of my contacts on that account to know that this is me. :o

My DD is 15...... as I said she seems fine and happy and healthy but over the past month i've noticed she looked a bit thinner, i guessed that she was growing, it was normal, and i was not too worried about her to be honest. Wish that i had been. More and mkore she will not eat her dinner, or she'll eat a little and claim she is full and can she leave the table/put her plate away then come back. I am worried she's been leaving and bringing food back up (eek...) and then returning to the table to eat a bit more of the food.

I have 4 kids, so we're always stocked up on biscuits, crisps, chewy sweets, all that. She rarely takes a treat when offered now which maybe seems something little, but it's noticeable, and worrying.

She's definitely been getting a bit thinner, eating less. She is not a skinny girl, just average, and she's very sporty.

last night after school she didn't want a snack, took a drink instead, but then she ate no dinner, she said she didn't feel good. She didn't eat breakfast, but was well enough to go to school. We fell out over breakfast, me trying to get her to eat something. When she got back I tried to talk to her, she grabbed a packet of crisps, and left, but I found them in the bin. I also found she had binned her packed lunch.

I am making dinner right now. She says she will eat, I said about a doctor as this seems like an eating disorder, she said if we took her to a doctor she'd stop eating and begged me not to.

What can I do?

lostinrates

WorriedMum1 wrote: »

she said if we took her to a doctor she'd stop eating and begged me not to.

What can I do?

That last bit is the ''proof'' that would make me see the doctor, preferaby with her, but if you need to maybe first without her. The sooner eating disorders can be addressed the less physical harm can be done.

WorriedMum1_3

What would a doctor do? Our GP was very unhelpful in a previous situation, not as serious as this but very unhelpful.

plumpmouse

I think you really need to seek help.

As a teenager I had a real phobia of eating in front of people. Wouldn't eat anything at school etc but would eat bits at home.

I think the fact that she is having problems eating at home show there is something more to this.

Also as pointed out the comment she made indicates she is hiding/worried about something.

The sooner you get help the better.

plumpmouse

WorriedMum1 wrote: »

What would a doctor do? Our GP was very unhelpful in a previous situation, not as serious as this but very unhelpful.

Do you have more than one GP in your practice? See another if you do.

They should be able to direct you to help if nothing else.

Does her school have a school nurse? They may be able to help

WorriedMum1_3

Thank you.

There are other GPs there *palm face*. The school doesn't have a nurse, no. Should I get her to the doctors ASAP? I am worried as it's sort of the unknown.....

xoxo_2

I think you should see a doctor too. The fact she's begging you not to should be a big enough warning sign to take this seriously.

Have a look here http://www.b-eat.co.uk for more info until then etc.

I hope it's just a phase for your daughter and that it's nothing as serious as it sounds.

WorriedMum1_3

I hope so. There seems no reason for it...

meritaten

yes, definately see a doctor ASAP. the fact she binned her packed lunch means nothing in itself but taken with the other things you say raises alarm bells - and that last paragraph set them ringing!
this hasnt been going on long from what you say so there is an excellent chance that by acting now you can 'nip it in the bud'!
but, I wouldnt just see the gp without gaining more information hun, I would be googling for FAQs on Anorexia sites and looking for a parent support site (I am sure there is at least one out there).
good luck!

PS and i think this is a good time to perhaps look on the family computer or her computer/laptop to see what sites she looks at? not to be nosy or to read her personal stuff, but there are some very nasty sites out there which encourage youngsters into Anorexia.

Counting_Pennies_2

This does sound like an eating disorder.

I too was in the grips of it at this age, and if left unchecked will get serious.

I ended up in hospital at 6 stones and I missed the start of my A levels and was too late to start when I got out.

So do please address it now, but you must be very careful.

A lot of people who have eating disorders often are in the grips of it because of lack of control in their life. Food and their weight is often the only thing they can control. They feel they have no control over relationships, study, etc. That life can sometimes be very overwhelming. She might have deeper worries.

There is a Dr Dee Dawson who is the god of Eating Disorder Recovery. I begged to go to her clinic when hospitalised, but her clinic was full. If you can get into her clinic I would highly recommend it. Or at least a referral to speak with her.

Drs are fairly limited in what they can offer. It might be helpful for your daughter to meet with a counsellor, but at this age, they often don't understand their feelings and how to articulate them. Don't understand what it is in their life they are using food and their weight to fight against the world.

If you can I would try hard to find a specialist in this area.

My case was 20 years ago now, I know from watching documentaries Dr Dee Dawson still exists as does her clinic. I am sure understanding has increased. But having gone through PND in the last few years, I don't feel the GP service have got mental issues understood. You might want to look at going private.

By the way, getting into a battle with food with your DD won't help, she will dig her heels in more. I can understand your desperation, but try not to trick her.

Suggest you take pictures of her so she gets to understand what she looks like, people's minds can get distorted in the mirror and see rolls where there aren't any.

Perhaps when you show her pictures of herself this year with last she will see the difference. Then talk about an agreement that you will get off her back if she promises not to try to get rid of her food in any way, and that she eats the minimum you agree to. No high fats, they fill anorexics with fear. Skimmed milk will still get calcium in, cereals, jacket potatoes, vegetables, fruit, lean meat, etc will be more than she is eating now I am sure, and will be healthy so will keep her happy about her control. Ask her to also take a multivitamin. Anorexics are often very healthy and sporty, but you need to think about Osteoporosis, etc. Also if her periods have stopped, you could suggest she is harming her body and may risk her chances of pregnancy later in life. This is one of the things that got to me. As it is I have gone on to have two very healthy children without problem, but that doesn't stop that little fear niggling away to make them want to try to get it sorted.

Take care

hth

hngrymummy

Have PMd you