Worried sick, my daughter losing weight/won't eat

jasmin10

Not sure if it's of any help but Bulimics are not always skinny. Most Bulimics are of average build as the metabolisim tends to slow right down because it basically dosent know what to do with itself - one minute food and then no food.

It it amazing how good people can be at hiding things that they are so desperate to hide. A few of the tell tale signs for Bulimia would be any redness on the knuckles (this is from putting fingers down the throat and the teeth rubbing on them), but them some people can get round this by using something to make themselves sick like a toothbrush. Another thing would be after eating having a couple of glasses of a carbonated drink as this helps to bring up the sick.

Incase you are wondering I am Bulimic and having for aabout 20 years. I am now in my mid 30 and only just getting help from a private funded charity. When I went to the Dr's they didn't know what to do with me and said just to keep a food diary and to see them every 2 weeks - lot of good that did. A website I would recommend is called Freedbeeches have a look but you can always pm too.

x (sorry for the rushed email but I'm typing quickly before prying eyes see)

minerva_windsong

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

In my teens i lost a LOT of weight because i had no appetite, this was as i've now discovered a symptom of my depression which i've had since i was 11. My parents never said anything for fear of upsetting me, until i ended up in hospital after overdosing. I'm not saying this to worry you further but if it is a symptom with say depression (or an ED) etc then the sooner she gets help the better.

I agree with this - I know even now when I go into a depressive phase I'll recognise that's what's happened by the fact I give up meals I can skip (mainly lunch in my case) as a way to get some sense of control back over my life. I wonder if there is pressure on her in some area of life (possibly the sports team or something academic) and she's using food as a way to get a bit of power over something in her life.

Whatever it is, I really hope you can get it sorted soon.

piratefairy

minerva_windsong wrote: »

I agree with this - I know even now when I go into a depressive phase I'll recognise that's what's happened by the fact I give up meals I can skip (mainly lunch in my case) as a way to get some sense of control back over my life. I wonder if there is pressure on her in some area of life (possibly the sports team or something academic) and she's using food as a way to get a bit of power over something in her life.

Whatever it is, I really hope you can get it sorted soon.

agree with the above re: mental health issues, if everything else is spiralling with no way of having any control, controlling what you eat is one way of feeling like somethign is under your control, and not necessarily approached with much rational thought.

i hope you manage to speak to her and sort out what the problem is, if there is one.

abby1234519

At the end of the day if she ISN'T eating then there is a problem.

My housemate confessed the other day that she'd just taken herself to the doctors as she'd realised she had a problem. She is very skinny, hardly eats and exercises way too much but its how she controls her life.

if you google "prettythin" you'll see the dangers of the internet for young girls. Its basically a pro ana website. Says it isn't but its full of young girls saying stuff like, how do I lose 3lbs in a day blah blah.

SkintGypsy

My BMI is also underweight (17?) although I do not have an eating disorder. There are so many things that affect my appetite that I seem to regularly be in a state of not eating enough. If I'm worried, stressed, unhappy, excited, unwell or even just tired I feel sick and don't eat. After a few days of not eating properly the smallest meal can make me feel sick. It's a viscious circle. Maybe it's not a body image thing at all?

seven-day-weekend

I think it is important for the girl to feel she has some sort of control here. Maybe if she promises to eat one good balanced meal a day, and then remain in family company for an hour afterwards (so that it is not vomited up), she can do what she likes about her other food.

Also, as another poster has asked, what is she doing when you thought she was at football??

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, you definitely need to take her to the doctors and get her checked out - there could be a medical reason behind this. My son has Crohn's Disease and the first symptoms were weight loss, tiredness and lack of appetite. I have heard of girls being diagnosed with Anorexia when they have conditions like Crohn's Disease.

Crohn's Disease is very rare in kids so I dont want to worry you. But if nothing else could you use this as a reason to take her to the GP just to be sure?

Good luck.

happy35

I didn't have a healthy relationship with food in my teens, I was always slim but thought I was fat like most teenage girls

I have never been anorexic but think a lot of teenage girls try not to eat as they want to be slimmer, you could maybe talk to her about healthy eating and that you can eat healthily and not put on weight. I wish someone had spoken to me about healthy eating/low calorie eating.

It may be that she doesn't like the way her body is changing and that is the reason that she is trying to restrict her eating, maybe by talking to her you will be able to put this fear to rest.

15 is quite a strange age as some girls at 15 have the figures of women and worry about this while others still have almost prepubescent shapes.

My son is 15 and some of the girls in his peer groups vary in size drastically, one commented to me that she is too fat but is only about an adult size8-10 so not fat at all but this is in comparison to some others who are about 6 inches shorter and look about 12

sp1987

One of my old housemates was anorexic and she is a lovely size now. When we first knew her she was absolutely tiny. She had a lot of help from clinics etc and similar over the years but used to like to eat alone. She had a lot of strange little habits for eating like needing to make her food alone and eating it in her room alone but that seemed to really help her. If your daughter does have an eating disorder I just wanted to share that there is an end to it. My other housemate had bulemia (still cannot spell it) and she is fine now too, she had even stranger habits (used to steal other people's food as it didn't count in the calories she had eaten?!).

I used to be under the BMI underweight line as a teen but people were shocked as I looked fine.

Does she have boy troubles? Or exam stress? She may be off her food but not to lose weight. That would explain not being very sneaky about it?

It just reads like there is a boy somewhere she is meeting when she should be at football? That would be a much easier problem to deal with.

Counting_Pennies_2

How did the chat with her go?