Colleague issue

MonkeySaving?

How big was the John Thomas?

sho_me_da_money

MonkeySaving? wrote: »

How big was the John Thomas?

LMAO - I needed a laugh.

I reckon pretty big since she was "bright red and utterly gob smacked for at least 15 minutes!"

IT'S A JOKE PEOPLE - A JOKE.

Watch me get blasted by the forum police for being insensitive.

RacyRed

sho_me_da_money wrote: »

Agreed.

As I said his actions are inexcusable. The guy is a filthy so and so but I dont think he would just whip it out randomly unless he had reason to believe this lady would be OK with it.

Obviously she wasn't.

However, on the balance of probability, I would imagine that there was flirtatious (harmless maybe) history going on between the two. I am not going to believe for one second that this guy woke up one morning, went into work, asked her to model some underwear and finally decided to whip his member out. Something in his head (other than the lack of his brain cells) made him feel he could do that.

And that's where I think the OP failed. She failed in communicating to him clearly that his emails and suggestions were troubling her and any further action would result in her reporting him to the manager.

The guy will not be able to justify what he did and will probably get dismissed for his actions but I bet you he will show evidence (be it emails, texts etc) to show the OP was batting the ball back so to speak.

Given the history between the two, be it a long time ago or not,I do not believe this was a random incident on a random day that just happened because he forgot to take his pills.

Again, the majority is on your side and for good reason. I am merely giving you my opinion, which is based on a looking at this on a deeper (psychological) level rather than seeing it in black n white.

Hindsight is wonderful thing isn't it? Sadly, Gwen didn't have the benefit of hindsight when this started.

Thousands upon thousands of people have mild office flirtations at sometime or another. How many guys take this to be an invitation to expose themselves in the office? Only the ones with some sort of phsycological problem I should think.

His problems are his, not Gwen's. She did nothing wrong and has done the right thing in reporting this.

sho_me_da_money, your arguments remind me of the old, "she was provocatively dressed" or "she wasn't a virgin" arguments that were used in the past to defend rapists. As such, I find them valueless.

Gwen, chin up, you have done the right thing.

sho_me_da_money

RacyRed wrote: »

Hindsight is wonderful thing isn't it? Sadly, Gwen didn't have the benefit of hindsight when this started.

Thousands upon thousands of people have mild office flirtations at sometime or another. How many guys take this to be an invitation to expose themselves in the office? Only the ones with some sort of phsycological problem I should think.

His problems are his, not Gwen's. She did nothing wrong and has done the right thing in reporting this.

sho_me_da_money, your arguments remind me of the old, "she was provocatively dressed" or "she wasn't a virgin" arguments that were used in the past to defend rapists. As such, I find them valueless.

Gwen, chin up, you have done the right thing.

I am not arguing and based on a statistic in a country where rape cases are less than 10% per year, a poll suggested that 38% of people believed that the victim should share some blame.

My question is - Could the OP have said something earlyon to avoid this incident from occurring?

I say yes she could have.

Errata

My question is - Could the OP have said something early to avoid this incident from occurring? I say yes she could have.

What? Like 'Oh, by the way, I know we've only just started talking to each other but please promise me you'll never flash your !!!!!! at me in the middle of the office during working hours'

sho_me_da_money

Errata wrote: »

What? Like 'Oh, by the way, I know we've only just started talking to each other but please promise me you'll never flash your !!!!!! at me in the middle of the office during working hours'

They knew each other for years and they even shared a snog. There relationship was a little more than amicable.

"Hey X, I was writing to to express my feelings regarding the comments and emails you send me. I do not mind having a laugh but, I feel very uncomfortable with what you say. I apologise if this sounds harsh but any further suggestions will be reported to the manager"


Bing, bang bosh.

MonkeySaving?

Wot about the size of the tube steak though?

RacyRed

sho_me_da_money wrote: »

I am not arguing and based on a statistic in a country where rape cases are less than 10% per year, a poll suggested that 38% of people believed that the victim should share some blame.

My question is - Could the OP have said something earlyon to avoid this incident from occurring?

I say yes she could have.

Read the OP again.

gwen80 wrote:

he has been known to send inappropriate emails which I've tried to deal with firmly.

RacyRed

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Although the arguments are wrong, I don't think sho_me_da_money would necessarily stand by them. Wrong as they are, they definitely add value to this discussion, because, like it or not, gwen may have to face these arguments - firstly in the workplace, and now she has reported the matter to the police, possibly in other quarters as well.

Gwen herself has acknowledged that the history is something which held her back from reporting the matter at first.

I disagree. These are nothing more than guilt trip arguements. Would you tell a motorist involved in a serious accident at a junction where the traffic lights suddenly failed that they should have prevented it by choosing a different route?

Exposing oneself in the office you work in is not the action of a rational man, no matter what his history with Gwen was. She couldn't predict this behviour pattern any more than a motorist can predict when a set of traffic lights will fail.

Gwen behaved like a normal human being, the guy crossed a line he doesn't appear to realise existed. Again, that is his problem, not Gwen's.

kev.s

gwen80 wrote: »

I also reported it to the police before Christmas. I have to go on 5th January to make a statement. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not.
Gwenx

gwen80 wrote: »

It's quite scarey in somebody you thought was a friend. What with the Joanna Yeates case in the news, it's left me even less trusting of people than I was before, if that's possible

Gwenx

you kind of answered your own question, however if he was suspended why would he have been at the works do?