Colleague issue

ceridwen

Nicki wrote: »

:cool:[QUOTE=Sambucus Nigra;39598274

To be fair MrRedundant's posts were wrong, alarmist and very unhelpful to both Gwen and to anyone else who might be reading this thread. I think it is fair enough to describe that exchange as "less than helpful".

It would seem that you and ceridwen have some posting history and animosity to each other but this is perhaps not the right thread to let that bubble over as I imagine Gwen is stressed enough about the whole situation without having to wade through someone else's personal spat.

Thank you for that. I would just like to point out - in fairness - that there is no "posting history and animosity" between me and SambucusNigra (as that would be a two-way thing - and its only going one way - ie from her to me and I dont know why she feels this animosity towards me).

Hoping to goodness there will be no further "distractions" of this nature - as it must be upsetting for Gwen to have that going on on her thread <wheres a praying smilie or fingers crossed smilie when one needs one?>

ceridwen

downshifted wrote: »

Well done bargain hunter - excellent post. Accurate and compassionate.

I'll second that - a very useful post:T

Loanranger

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Nope - still [politely] waiting for any of your ideas....of which of course we have had none.

This is second time you have had a go at me for not posting any suggestions to Gwen.

May I direct you to my post no 98?

RosaBernicia

Fluffi wrote: »

I agree with this 100%. As a manager I'd be upset with myself for not having my eyes open and being observant enough to see this behaviour sooner, escalated to HR and dealt with it. I'd be so grateful to anyone that did have the courage to report this incident to me though because I appreciate its not at all easy (I'd struggle myself if the situation was reversed) and I'd be thankful that it wasn't worse.

Please please please do not worry about ruining anyones weekends - you need to concentrate on yourself Gwen80.

:T:T :T


Hi Gwen

Well done and hugs for reporting him - you've done the right thing and now you can know it. I hope your HR sort him out ASAP.

Rosa xx

gwen80

Hello

I've decided to revisit this thread. I'm not sure whether it's a good idea or not :undecided I had my interview with HR the week before Christmas. He had his interview straight afterwards.

I've just been on facebook. I've been avoiding it like the plague...scared what I might find on there. He's unfriended me, which is fine and it's saved me a job, but now I feel guilty. Then I feel angry that I feel guilty. I'm scared that when it all comes out at work people will think I'm the b1tch that got him into trouble and I'm just a troublemaker. It's just horrible and I've tried to enjoy Christmas, but it hasn't been easy. I've felt really down at times. I hate this situation And I can imagine him enjoying his Christmas as if he doesn't have a care in the world...the same way as he was wandering around work before he got suspended...

I also reported it to the police before Christmas. I have to go on 5th January to make a statement. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not. Am I just sticking the knife in even further? Is it unnecessary? Or am I doing the right thing?

What scares me more than anything was the fact that after he'd done that, he managed to act completely normally and even had the nerve to have his hands all over one of the younger girls at the Christmas do the following day. If it was unintentional, wouldn't you be sh1tting yourself that you'd get into trouble for it anyway?? Wouldn't you be steering well clear of any situations that could get you into further trouble. And why (in the case of Friday) would you hang around the girl who's accused you of indecently exposing yourself to her? Wouldn't you avoid me, in case you're 'falsely' accused of anything else?

He's proved himself capable of something I never thought he could do and even more frightening, he's proved that he can behave as if nothing has happened. It's quite scarey in somebody you thought was a friend. What with the Joanna Yeates case in the news, it's left me even less trusting of people than I was before, if that's possible

Gwenx

gwen80

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP I am sorry you are going through this at this time of year but hopefully this matter will be resolved quickley.

Just a thought thou why or how did the other woman know to come and tell you what happened?

A few people have asked how the younger girl knew about what had happened. The answer is she didn't (this is what I meant when I said there had been no prompting from me).

I spoke to my manager who told me that the guy was being suspended. I went back to my desk looking a bit upset, I suppose. The younger girl picked up on it and insisted on taking me for a coffee, she's a very sweet girl. I told her I was upset about the reorganisation. The guy in question walked past us. After he'd gone, she gestured towards him and said 'He's a bit of a scumbag, he is'. I said 'What makes you say that?' and she said 'He had his hand on my @rse at the Christmas do'. I said 'Really?' and she said 'Yes', then she said 'I thought he'd only just got married' and I said 'He has' and she said 'I feel sorry for his wife' and that was it.

Gwenx

mazinmouse

Personally I feel you have done the right thing and you are right also to involve the police as someone other than your employer (which might prefer to keep a low profile in this matter) must be made alerted to his behaviour and subsequent demeanour.

gwen80

wuckfit wrote: »

I can't understand how you come to this conclusion. the accused is still being paid as normal, despite not being in work.
They still have the right to be accompanied by a colleague or union rep for any disciplinary meeting. that is the fair and proper process.

The OP has already said that she has been asked to keep it confidential, so I can't see what the problem is. It is normal procedure to suspend employees if an allegation is made against them to prevent attempts to cover up any misdeeds or prevent any contact with other staff in order for them to concoct alibis.

The chances of a malicious false allegation are much less than a genuine one.

Regarding all the debate about whether it is fair or right to suspend the guy in question. Aswell as the possibility of the guy interfering with the investigation, there is also the possibility that he may harass/touch up/expose himself again to me or to other women.

Employers have a duty of care to their employee's. If I was harassed again by him after I'd made the company aware of his behaviour, they'd be failing in their duty of care to me and would leave themselves open to legal action. Likewise if he did anything to anybody else after I'd informed the company.

Gwenx

Sambucus_Nigra

Gwen.

You did the right thing in both going to your employer and the police. There is no question of this.

SUESMITH_2

he brought it on himself, if he had behaved like a normal person he wouldnt have been suspended would he?