Would you be cheesed off too?

shellsuit

For the last 3 years, we have had family come to us for Christmas Dinner.

There are 5 of us, me, hubby and 3 children.

For dinner, we also have my Dad (which we always have had, as he;s on his own), my Mum and stepdad, my Nan, my Aunty, My Uncle and their son (who is an adult)

We moved house this year so have a smaller dining room but can just about manage to squeeze 2 tables in to seat everyone.

Hubby is on call all this week as well as working his normal full week. He was on call the weekend just gone and is on call this weekend coming and all of next week too, finishing tea time on Christmas Eve and is back on call on Boxing Day.

We normally go to my Auntys and Uncles for Boxing Day afternoon.

Aunty rang me before and asked if we were going this year because her and uncle are going to go food shopping tomorrow, so I said I didn't know what was happening as hubby is on call, so she said "shall we leave it this year then?". I said "if you want to" as you do, as I was a bit taken aback that that was the end of it.

It's just dawned on me now, that she is off work all this week, so has the rest of the week to go shopping. OK my Uncle is only off work tomorrow which is probably why they are doing food shopping tomorrow, but if I can do the food shopping for a Christmas Dinner for 12 people, on my own with no car and a baby in a buggy, then why can't she pop on a bus or taxi and do the same?!

I'm angry about it now, so have just text her asking why she has to know about boxing day today, to get the food tomorrow, when she is off work all week and could wait a bit longer for an answer. Not had a reply yet.

I really feel like telling her to bog off and forget Christmas.

I did just want it to be us for Christmas this year(me, hubby, the kids and my Dad), but then I get made to feel guilty because my Mums birthday is on Christmas Day and made guilty again because Uncle said we could all go there for Christmas Dinner even though there is no way we would all fit in their house so that's why everyone is coming here again.

aliasojo

shellsuit wrote: »

It's just dawned on me now, that she is off work all this week, so has the rest of the week to go shopping. OK my Uncle is only off work tomorrow which is probably why they are doing food shopping tomorrow, but if I can do the food shopping for a Christmas Dinner for 12 people, on my own with no car and a baby in a buggy, then why can't she pop on a bus or taxi and do the same?!

I'm angry about it now, so have just text her asking why she has to know about boxing day today, to get the food tomorrow, when she is off work all week and could wait a bit longer for an answer. Not had a reply yet.

You asked, so don't be offended but I think you're a wee bit out of line tbh.

Why on earth should someone struggle with buses/taxis/shopping etc especially since the weather is forecast to get worse, when they could do it all easily with help and transport on a day that suits them better? It doesn't make sense to expect her to do that just to suit you.

The one thing I would say is I wonder why she couldn't just get enough in 'just in case' you were able to go? Surely it wouldn't mean that much more?

kezza29

I think you have got every right to feel a bit cheesed off with her abruptness but could you not decide with your husband tonight what you are doing boxing day then let your aunt know first thing tomorrow.
I know it probably seems petty her only wanting to go shopping tomorrow but to be honest lots of people are the same coming up to christmas and wanting to stick to a schedule, me included lol

tinktinktinkerbell

i think you are being OTT about this, people can do their shopping whenever they like, its not upto you

you have a car, she has to fork out for taxi/bus fare, why should she when her husband can take her

with the weather about to get worse for most of the country i think shes being sensible getting it in tomorrow before it hits

D4WNO

Gotta agree with the majority so far on this I'm afraid. It sounds like she asked if you were coming over on Boxing Day and your reponse of "not sure", may have been taken as a way of trying to get out of it. So she politely offered you an unembarrassing way to avoid letting her down and now you're in a mood about it?

I wouldn't wait a extra few days to do my shopping "just in case" a few people changed their plans on me anyway. I'd go when I planned to (as I'm sure she has a life outside a single shopping trip) and then if I needed to, I could pop out and get some extras. Just sounds like a little miscommunucation, it probably wasn't meant in that way at all

moonpenny

I think for this Christmas, I would keep things as they are, as it's a bit too close now to alter arrangements.

However, I would definately rethink next year and perhaps just invite your Dad and maybe Mum and Stepdad. I think you are entitled to have a quieter Christmas if that's what you want.

Obviously, it's a bit difficult if anyone is going to be on their own on the day but if not then theres no problem.

mummyslittleboy

No I wouldn't be cheesed of to be honest if we get the weather we are all forecast she is probably doing the sensible thing and doing her shopping now and not waiting, if I could afford to I know I would be.

If you wanted a quieter christmas then maybe you should have said something earlier we always use to have either my mum or OH's parents for dinner and then all of them for tea plus lots of others we have a couple of years said we are not inviting people and we were going to have a quiet one with just us and the kids and thats what we did but I think its a bit late now to change plans you have already made for this year. Maybe you could tell everyone that next year you are having christmas on your own that would give them more than enough time to get used to the idea.

shellsuit

aliasojo wrote: »

You asked, so don't be offended but I think you're a wee bit out of line tbh.

Why on earth should someone struggle with buses/taxis/shopping etc especially since the weather is forecast to get worse, when they could do it all easily with help and transport on a day that suits them better? It doesn't make sense to expect her to do that just to suit you.

The one thing I would say is I wonder why she couldn't just get enough in 'just in case' you were able to go? Surely it wouldn't mean that much more?

I've got to struggle next week getting the food shopping, without a car, with a baby in a buggy, to feed 12 people on Christmas Day.

I was angry, because she wanted to know right there and then whether we were going because they were getting the food for it tomorrow. I couldn't give an answer right there and then, so she said leave it.

I could have spoken to DH tonight, but I wasn't given the option of even having till tonight to talk to him about it.

shellsuit

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i think you are being OTT about this, people can do their shopping whenever they like, its not upto you

you have a car, she has to fork out for taxi/bus fare, why should she when her husband can take her

with the weather about to get worse for most of the country i think shes being sensible getting it in tomorrow before it hits

Do we have a car? I thought ours was miles away at hubbys Grandparents as it's off the road, so that's news to me.

jcr16

could u not do the food shopping online , make it easier for yourself ?

shellsuit

kezza29 wrote: »

I think you have got every right to feel a bit cheesed off with her abruptness but could you not decide with your husband tonight what you are doing boxing day then let your aunt know first thing tomorrow.
I know it probably seems petty her only wanting to go shopping tomorrow but to be honest lots of people are the same coming up to christmas and wanting to stick to a schedule, me included lol

She dropped it on me, without any warning and wanted an answer there and then which I couldn't give her, but Yes I could have spoken to DH about it tonight.

I forgot to mention, but they are going shopping tomorrow at Asda and she works at Asda.