Running out of time, needing to borrow in time for xmas...

ciscokid

SaverT wrote: »

OK, 2 things here

1. £10 here and there to an online casino everyday - how long for? That's £300 per month! That's nearly twice as much as the overdraft fees and charges that you are so bitter about.
Again, I've been there and done it. A significant amount of my debt (and 'need' to resort to PDL came from gambling). I know it is easier to be angry, but if this is true you have to stop! Deep down when you are thinking clearly you can see this is contributing hugely to the financial issues. It won't be easy in amongst all the other things going on but if you don't stop this asap, then in a few months your problems will be 10times worse. There is a support thread here as well as many other sites to help stop gambling - do it!
it.

Back a few pages someone wrote "utter tosh...keep your make believe stories coming"

This was the same attitude I got from friends and assosicates. I now have no friends and have no life bar the one I have at work. The people i know at work I have no relation with outside of work. I miss my kids all week. Spending £10 here and there all adds up, but each time I am clearly deluded to the point of thinknig "this could be it" and all sense is blocked in my head until I lose the money then feel the pain that causes. Its self harm/abuse without the knife. I consulted my GP about this, they told me "we don't do gambling problems, its not a real problem, its a social thing". I spoke with gamblers anonymous, I was able to finish every sentence they tried to start, they have a script which at the end of the day is basically "don't do it"....this is the equivilent of a smoker of 50 years going to their GP for help and being told "I think you should stop smoking..." I know the reason I gamble...I gamble because sometimes I win, and the times I do, I am able to repay some debt. But I understand the odds too well to know that casinos edge (which is most cases is around 2.7%) is enough to break you over enough time, and in games with negative expectation you can not profit in the long run, it is mathematically impossible. I spend a lot of my free time justifying this to myself, programming simulators to simulate millions of trials of all possible outcomes of all games.... I know it is a guranteed money loser, but my current circumstances get the better of me and cloud all judgement and rational thought and I give in, just like how I gave in to taking a credit card and overdraft the second I had just finally sorted my life out!!! Of all the doctors I have recently, only one (an occupation health consultant) really got me, and understood that perhaps if things were a little simpler in my life and back to normal that I would not be driven to this destructive lifestyle. Back in 2007 when things were slightly normal I had the best year of my life. My family were happy, I was happy, my confidence was slowly rebuilding, I was able to walk out of a dead end job right into a new job the folllowing day on better pay because I had complete conviction in my abilities and the employers must have picked up these good vibes in my interview (how many interviews finish with "can you start today, I think you could really help with this current problem we are having...") That's all I want, the simplicity t get things back to normal and get on with the rest of my life. See my hypothetical SOA above. Theres guys in my work on less money than me who have borrowed 25k to buy cars, in addition to all their credit cards and student debt...I was never a student, I can't imagine the level of debt they are in, but they are the ones living in make believe land as far as I can tell...but these are the people the banks go out their way to help....and I'm the one who provides them with the bankroll (through fees and charges) to do so....

TUS

I would be considering bankruptcy if I were you and starting from scratch.

ciscokid

SaverT wrote: »

If you are willing to share all the details, people will be able to offer solutions. Seemingly you don't know all the details yourself at the moment. Please get all your paperwork together (loan/OD/credit card/PDL agreements and bank statements) and sit down calmly and go through what's coming in, what's going out and when, then come back and give us all the info, you might be surprised at how much help you get...

thats just the thing...I don't have any of this paperwork. i sometimes go weeks without being in my home. god only knows what my partner does with all the mail that arrives for me but i can never find anything in my house. the payday loans can be taken out by sms message (ie. reply to this text and we'll give you the loan) if repaying debt was as easy as that I wouldn't be in this mess...but i do not kno where to even begin with the current mess, and my organisational skills are non existent. I am currently arguing with my mother that they have perhaps missed ADHD in me or something when i was growing up.... I tried saying this to my doctor aswell who convinced I couldn't possibly have this because I have a good job. I haven't done any work for the past 3 days instead i have been spending all my time venting my spleen here (its is therapeutic at least!!!) There are symptoms of ADHD in which I seem to tick every box, here is the list, this may explain why I have such problems!!!

*Often making careless mistakes when having to work on uninteresting or difficult projects
* Often having difficulty keeping attention during work, or holding down a job for a significant amount of time
* Often having difficulty concentrating on conversations
Having trouble finishing projects that have already been started
* Often having difficulty organizing for the completion of tasks
* Avoiding or delaying in starting projects that require a lot of thought
* Often misplacing or having difficulty finding things at home or at work
* Disorganized personal items (sometimes old and useless to the individual) causing excessive "clutter" (in the home, car, etc.)
* Often distracted by activity or noiseOften having problems remembering appointments or obligations, or inconveniently changing plans on a regular basis

ciscokid

TUS wrote: »

I would be considering bankruptcy if I were you and starting from scratch.

Unlike most debt free wannabes...I actually want to pay all my debts the honest way.

ILW

I would concentrate on paying the really high interest payday loans, tell all the other creditors that you can only afford to send them a pound. Your credit file will be destroyde but if all the issues you say you have are true, you cannot handle credit and it will be a good thing.

the_insider

There you go again finding someone else to blame. So the doctor didn't notice that you had ADHD? You were doing fine up until now.
The real question you need to ask yourself is what has gone wroong since the best year of your life in 2007? And I don't mean 'the bank wouldn't give me any money', I mean what have you done to get yourself in this position.

You really need to get hold of copies of your bank statements etc and take them to CAB. You need professional help.

TUS

ciscokid wrote: »

Unlike most debt free wannabes...I actually want to pay all my debts the honest way.

The honest way is to heed the advice being given. You can't/won't do that. Seriously ... what will happen soon is your house will be re-possessed along with any items of value.

You will lose everything.

If you are not willing to work with someone like CCCS and let SOMEONE ELSE take control of your finances, you are ruined mate.

sazzybum

the_insider wrote: »

There you go again finding someone else to blame. So the doctor didn't notice that you had ADHD? You were doing fine up until now.
The real question you need to ask yourself is what has gone wroong since the best year of your life in 2007? And I don't mean 'the bank wouldn't give me any money', I mean what have you done to get yourself in this position.

You really need to get hold of copies of your bank statements etc and take them to CAB. You need professional help.

Definitely agree with the bit in red, but probably not financial....:cool:

talana

ciscokid wrote: »

Unlike most debt free wannabes...I actually want to pay all my debts the honest way.

Excuse me while I stop laughing!.....
You actually haven't got a hope in hell of paying off your debts the honest way though, because of a few teeny-tiny problems I can see...
- your p!!! poor attitude
- your apparent lack of even basic organisational ability, budgeting, control or money management
- your point-blank refusal to adopt any sensible strategy that will help you turn the corner.

Checking in with this thread is at least keeping me amused.

SaverT

My last bit of advice for now,

1. Stop whatever you're doing and think. Do you really want to get out of the situation you are in? There are lots of things going on which, I'm sorry to be blunt, but they are leading you to an array of excuses. If you read this (already long) thread, you will see lots of people trying to offer help, and gradually more and more people getting frustrated by the fact you have an excuse for everthing and therefore less and less people trying to help anymore.

So assuming you really do want to break the self destructive cycle you are in then...

2. Acknowledge the gambling issue and address it. There are loads of resources to help you with this but none of them will work unless you really want to stop. You say "I spoke with gamblers anonymous, I was able to finish every sentence they tried to start, they have a script which at the end of the day is basically "don't do it"....this is the equivilent of a smoker of 50 years going to their GP for help and being told "I think you should stop smoking..." I know the reason I gamble...I gamble because sometimes I win, and the times I do, I am able to repay some debt. But I understand the odds too well to know that casinos edge (which is most cases is around 2.7%) is enough to break you over enough time, and in games with negative expectation you can not profit in the long run, it is mathematically impossible. I spend a lot of my free time justifying this to myself, programming simulators to simulate millions of trials of all possible outcomes of all games.... I know it is a guranteed money loser, but my current circumstances get the better of me and cloud all judgement and rational thought and I give in", again I've been there and done it. Until you REALLY want to stop, nothing will help. You have to want to stop. If you do then go back to GA and it will help but only help. The only person that can make it stop is you. Unfortunatly they don't offer a magic solution that makes it go away. You know you are doing more harm than good, let the sensible side of you win for a change, not the side that wants to bury it's head

3. You don't have paperwork, if repaying debt was easy you wouldn't be in this mess, your organisational skills are non-existant etc. Sorry - excuses! Phone everywhere you owe money to ask them the balances, ask them the interest rates, ask them the repayment due dates, ask them to send the info in writing. Get a file and put it in there or post the details here, stop hiding from the issue.

Put really simply you have 2 choices

A) continue as you are, blame everything on someone else and make the situation worse and worse.

Get your head out of your a*** and take the advice you are being given, gather the info (it might take a few days but you have to start somewhere) come back and accept the solutions you are given.

If you choose A then god help you, I hope you have an almighty stroke of good fortune sometime and wake up.

If you choose B then I for one will be happy to help as much as possible




***Choose B!!!!***:D:D:D