Ears

smartpicture

My daughter had the op. Our doctor mentioned it first when we were seeing her about something else and said she'd put her on the waiting list without even asking if it was what either of us wanted! Although I did agree to it. They said the age of 7 was the best age (this was 12 years ago). It was quite painful and it's not nice to put your child through that so be certain it's what you want. Having said that, she always says she's glad she had it done, not from the teasing angle, but so she can wear her hair in different ways.

The thing is though - she just got teased for having red hair instead, and had to learn to deal with that. It's more important to teach them the skills to deal with things like that, than to try and remove every possible cause of teasing, it's part of growing up. If you're literally in tears now before he's even suffered any hypothetical teasing, then to put it bluntly you need to toughen up a bit before you infect him with your own over-reactions, sorry.

Doozergirl

I had the op when I was 7. I don't ever remember being aware of having sticky out ears but it must have bothered my mum - she had sticky out ears and always wore her hair long and covered them but she was gorgeous!? I wonder if GPs are more prepared to put girls forward for the surgery? I can imagine it being a lot harder for girls than boys - boys will always rib each other for stuff but then I also think they are more forgiving of each other's flaws whereas girls can be just plain nasty.

It was a big deal for me being so young and 25 years later I have vivid memories; being in hospital, the food, the toys I played with, a not very nice nurse, being ill afterwards (contracted measles in hospital!), itchy stitches and how sharp they were when you touched them, the pain of hair that had got stuck in dried blood and having bandages wrapped around my head forever after and my mum buying me little hairclips to dress the little bit of hair that stuck out the top of the "Mr Bump" style bandage. It must have been quite traumatic for me to remember in so much detail - I don't remember that much detail of anything from that age except my grandad dying later that same year and that holds lots of memories for me, I absolutely adored him.

I wouldn't worry about him so much right now, especially to the point of tears! I bet he's gorgeous. Kids are oblivious at that age, it might just be worth waiting to see if he notices and if it bothers him so much then try and do something at a later date.

I am glad thinking back that it's not something to add to my list of my body parts that I'm not enamoured with but then I'm a girl and I don't think it's as acceptable for people

mum2twinsx2

Juicy_Tube wrote: »

just feeling really down and upset tonight about this, first time ever.

DS1 had his Xmas play today and all I could see was his ears and it upset me so much...

Maybe because your aware of them, you notice it more?? Only saying as my friend thought the same for her daughter, i hardly noticed her ears stuck out.

Mupette

So he has sticky out ears... where will this stop..
operation to cosmetically fix this.. and fix that.

Love you child for who they are. No one is perfect.

You have a healthy child.

LabLover

My cousin had huge ears and they also stuck out , my aunty was asked when he was a baby if she would liked them pinned back. She thought about it for a long time and decided against it. He was such a gorgeous wee boy but people used to comment and say "he would be such a cutie if his ears didnt stick out so much" we were all horrified. Then when he was about 8 he had a right growth spurt and looked really gangly and his ears really stuck out and he was bullied for a short while. Fast forward ten years he is beating the girls with a stick. His ears are totally in proportion to his head , hes such a good looking boy but because of all the hastle and stick he has had he honestly doesnt see himself as good looking. Which obviously makes the girls love him even more. My aunty is now one very proud parent. I used to think that when he was younger his ears gave him character .

mico62

My ex's nickname was Taxi - why I asked his friends - cos if you stand behind him he looks like a taxi with its doors open - I'd never noticed his ears but they'd grown up with him and the name had followed him from primary school.

when our son was born the first comments were he's got his dad's ears. I did ask our GP about having them pinned back and he said to come back when he was 8 but by then they didn't look so big and now I can't believe I got so wound up over them.

Now I've got a hang up about my teeth and when his adult teeth came through I thought poor thing's got my teeth and told our dentist I wanted braces fitting at the earliest opportunity. He told me to wait and those wonky tombstones are now straight without needing braces. I wish they were a bit whiter and he wasn't so skinny but he's happy and healthy and we really should stop looking for imperfections in our kids

Fuzzy_Duck

LillythePink wrote: »

If you are upset about it and keep making an issue out of them, then so will he and he is the one that has to live with them and be around other children who may comment on them or poke fun at him.

You have to rise above it and give him the confidence to bounce back and even stand his ground and not get upset by any comments.

I have a port wine stain on my face - it covers almost a third of it - so I know what it's like to have people stare and comment - but my parents never made a deal of it and so I didn't. I consider myself lucky that the people I went to school with just accepted me for who I was, not what I looked like - yes, I would love to get rid of it and have had so many treatments on it but it is too deep and no laser works on it.

Get him to be himself and be confident, loud and proud and in the years to come, if he wants surgery then he can - but it will be his choice and not the choice of some over bearing mother who has wrapped him (or wants to) in cotton wool - if you do this then you will not be helping him.

Sorry if this sounds blunt - but from someone who has a disfigurement - just live with it and make the most of what he has got.

A very good post and I quite agree. My boyfriend's mum asked him if he wanted his ears pinned back as a child and even today he's still convinced he has big sticky-out ears. He doesn't! They may have looked a bit bigger compared to the rest of him as a child, but he's grown into them since. No matter what I or anyone else says though, he's still convinced they stick out or she wouldn't have said it.

A relative of mine knew a girl who wanted her ears pinned back go through with the operation and never wake up from the anaesthetic. It's not worth the risk in my opinion.

Your features are what make you who you are and if anyone makes a nasty comment, they're the ones with the problem, not you. I'm a firm believer that if someone wants to bully you they will find something to bully you over, however perfect you are.

Build his confidence, and if you're that concerned let him grow his hair longer as another poster suggested. It's trendy at the moment and he might well enjoy not having to have hair cuts for a while!

heretolearn_2

It hasn't done a multimilliionairr movie star any harm. Teach your boy to love his ears:

"Will Smith says his ears are the secret to his success.The 'Men in Black' actor credits his big ears for his popularity.He told MTV: "It's right here. That's the key. America loves ears, you know?"

euronorris

I always had big, sticky out ears when I was younger (I'm female by the way). As did most of my siblings (comes from my Dad).

My eldest brother has never been bothered by them and he left them alone as did the sister closest to me in age, although hers have never been that big. They are a part of who he is, and if anyone did make comments, he must've ignored them.

My other brother and my eldest sister however, were quite bothered by them, and both had them 'pinned back' in their early teens.

My ears didn't bother me until I got to secondary school, which is when some of the older kids noticed them and started to make comments. It really upset me, but that doesn't mean that your child won't just brush off the comments and be indifferent to it all.

I had mine pinned back at 12/13 years old. The op was fine, but it was soooooooooooo painful afterwards and the anasthetic made me sick. I'm not sure I would do it again if I could go back and change it. Plus I had to wear a rather ugly bandage around my head for weeks and lost most of my summer holidays to recovery time also.

At your son's age, I really don't think you need to worry about it at all. If he is unhappy with them, he will tell you. But if he hasn't said anything, then I doubt he's even noticed, let alone cares. As others have said, he may even grow into them or like having something individual about himself.

Please, please try not to make a fuss of it, otherwise he will pick up on your feelings and then he will be upset with them. Let him lead the way with this.

euronorris

Oh, and even though I had the op, my right ear still sticks out a little bit at the top, so there's no guarantee they'll get it right.