Ears

Juicy_Tube

This is probably the hardest thing that i have written on here as a parent...

I have a little boy, aged 4. I, and we as parents have been aware that DS1 has protuding ears.

It has been pointed out in one way or another, but nothing too unkind, as yet..

As I type tonight, I have tears streaming for the wonderful boy that I love. I do fear what will happen in the playground later on..

I do not want to come across as being some obsessive Mum all about looks, but some advice if you have it..

Thank you x

McKneff

I know exactly what you mean, you are worried he is going to be bullied or teased.

All i can suggest is dont get his hair cut too short, it makes them look even worse.

I dont know how old children have to be to have them operated on to have them pinned back but is it worth having a word with your health nurse at the GP surgery.

minimoneysaver

My daughters ears used to stick out, so much so, that I nearly thumped and old man about four years ago. Funny thing is, now she is 5 1/2 and they look pretty normal. Wait to see what happens and in the meantime maybe you could keep his hair a little longer & thicker on the sides? Apparently my dads mum used to tape his ears back every night in the hope that she could train them to go backwards!!!

jackieglasgow

My now eight year old son has quite sticky out ears. When he was little I asked my GP about it for the same reasons as you are worried, and he laughed me out of the surgery. My boy knows his ears stick out, he;s learned to love them, and embrace them as his big ears. In fact, last night we were looking in the mirror and I said, "lets hold your ears back to see what you look like" and he said, no, I did that before and I think I look stupid, I wouldn't be me without my ears. He's a very confident bubbly popular little boy, and not once has anyone said anything to him about his ears. No doubt he may face this in future but I think we've instilled in him enough confidence that it will never be an issue. That is what you need to do for your boy. At the time I was annoyed at my doctor for not taking my worries seriously, but I am glad he reacted the way he did because it made me change my way of looking at it, and believe me, it was a huge issue for me at the time - actually it was a huge fear I had for both my boys. Ds1's hair is so long now, I don't think I've even seen his ears for about three years :rotfl:

I should add that I cut his hair two weeks ago; his normal number three round the back and sides and short and spiky on top. Those ears are out and proud!

Juicy_Tube

just feeling really down and upset tonight about this, first time ever.

DS1 had his Xmas play today and all I could see was his ears and it upset me so much...

jackieglasgow

If he isn't aware of it, then upsetting yourself over it is a waste of energy, it is a non issue at the moment. Grow his hair a bit longer, that's very fashionable at the moment anyway, and see how it goes, but you don't want to be the one who gives him a complex about it when he might not have ever been bothered. It took me a while to see that I could have done that to my son, too. Hugs, its tough being a mum. x

LillythePink

If you are upset about it and keep making an issue out of them, then so will he and he is the one that has to live with them and be around other children who may comment on them or poke fun at him.

You have to rise above it and give him the confidence to bounce back and even stand his ground and not get upset by any comments.

I have a port wine stain on my face - it covers almost a third of it - so I know what it's like to have people stare and comment - but my parents never made a deal of it and so I didn't. I consider myself lucky that the people I went to school with just accepted me for who I was, not what I looked like - yes, I would love to get rid of it and have had so many treatments on it but it is too deep and no laser works on it.

Get him to be himself and be confident, loud and proud and in the years to come, if he wants surgery then he can - but it will be his choice and not the choice of some over bearing mother who has wrapped him (or wants to) in cotton wool - if you do this then you will not be helping him.

Sorry if this sounds blunt - but from someone who has a disfigurement - just live with it and make the most of what he has got.

elsien

I also have sticky out ears. I used to be called dumbo at school, and I was desperate to have them pinned back. Mum and dad promised when I was older they would help me get them done so I kept my hair short and got on with it. (I used to prefer looking like a boy rather than a girl for some reason.)

Fast forward a few years to a teenager, and I just stopped caring. Didn't bother me half as much as it used to, and I never got round to visiting the doctor to see if anything could be done. And the teasing had changed to the size of my legs - is that two bits of string hanging down from your skirt, etc.

I think that unless they are absolutely horrendous, I'd stop worrying so much. The way I look at it is there's always something you are going to get teased about. If it's not your ears, it's the glasses. Or the hair colour. Or the height. It's much more important to teach your kids to have good self-esteem so whatever people say will slide off them - he'll only get hung up about them if you let him see you think it's a problem. Yes I still sometimes look in the mirror and notice the ears, but it doesn't worry me any more than the family nose and all the other imperfections that we all have.

Mojisola

If it is upsetting you, do visit the GP so that you know the options. In the meantime, do as the others say and help his self-esteem to develop so that he knows that people who tease him aren't worth bothering about.

meritaten

sweety - Ive known plenty of kids who had sticky out ears when toddlers and the problem resolved itself! just dont cut the kids hair too short and if the ears still seem too large at starting school then see the GP! i am not too sure from your post if this is where you are at?

skintchick

I had sticky out ears. I'm 35 and in those days theywouldn;t operate till you'd stopped growing so I had to wait till I was 17. My school life was hell with buillies, not just for my ears (I also have a big birthmark on my arm, and was considered 'posh' cos I spoke differently as my parents are southerners and we were living in the west midlands) but I would not hesitate to get my DD's ears put back at the earliest opportunity if hers should stick out (and they probably will as Oh's also do but he wasn't bullied).

anyway, that's a bit of a ramble, but I understand your fears and while I think it would help if you could calm down and not make it an issue for him, I would also say to look into surgery when and if he says he is unhappy about them.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this, and what the surgery involves.