New to the board...shakily posting on behalf of broken mum

jackieb

You sound like a lovely daughter. It's good that your mum has you to help her through this.

Did your dad know about it when she remortgaged?

CFC

Hello Lucy, sorry you've had such a nasty shock.

If your mum and dad are still living together, I think she's going to have to bite the bullet and start thinking of a way to tell him. The mortgage is bigger than it should be - what did he think that the remortgage went on, or is he one of those people who just signs things when they're put in front of him?

cumbrianmum

Hi Lucy and hang in there my mum was in a similar situation so it's frightening when it happens but it will get better and your mum will smile again. I would strongly suggest that your mum tells your dad if at all possible - you'll have two little ones to look after in a couple of mths and your mum needs all the support she can get.

Hope everything goes well

Lizbetty

Thanks so much everyone. Sorry I've not managed to get all the interest info, etc, but the loans/credit cards she has are as follows:

Loans
Lloyds TSB £569.59 o/s = 186.60pm
M&S £5475.68 o/s = 195.56pm
GE Capital £1537.46 = 119.59pm
GE Capital £2596.81= 127.28pm
MBNA £3169 = 134.55pm
Barclays £1613.52 = 179.28pm
Cards
Barclaycard = £2203.41 o/s
BC Monument = £979.01 o/s
M&S Money = £5257.23 o/s
Lloyds Tsb = £10447.08 o/s
Nationwide = £1701.45 o/s
Citibank = £1949.68 o/s
Sterling Visa/BoS= £9972.72 o/s
All & Leics = £1617.84 o/s
Leeds BS = £2577.35 o/s
Capital One = £4100.98 o/s
Edge = £400 o/s
BOS Preference = £1000 o/s
MBNA = £6480.88 o/s
Laura Ashley = £80.00 o/s
MIN PAYMENTS MADE ON ALL CREDIT CARDS (d'oh)

Mortgage = £350pm (approx)
Income - Mum = £960 pm (approx)
Dad = £1020pm (approx)

I shredded the bit of paper I had with the income details on, but this is roundabout the correct figures. CCCS said they'd only take my mum's income into account at the mo as the loans (apart from the mortage) are in her name only (how the hell anyone can borrow so much on her income is beyond me, but anyway...). I'm in the process of trying to find her a basic bank account for their wages as they are with Lloyds TSB who are being awkward about cancelling the loan dd, CCCS said to make sure they shift their income to avoid Lloyds taking out what they're owed as and when. We've sent the £1 cheques off to the other creditors, which tbh, mum couldn't afford so I've done it for her.

She's got some tamazepam (sp?) that the dr gave her ages ago, and she's been taking a bit on a night to help her sleep, but I think she needs to go back as she still seems to be in shock, on and off. Plus, I'm worried about her having the tablets in the house at all, really.

The option of telling dad is pretty horrendous, he does tend to rely on her to sort finances out and he knows she's been in a mess before and he wasn't too good with it all. I'm worried as he did have a bit of an issue with drink a few years ago (seems ok since his 1st grandchild, thank god) where he was a nightmare to be around and quite nasty with mum, I'm worried about that reoccuring but mum seems to think it wouldn't. I wouldn't want to risk it as it was a really awful time, I just think if i can help her without him finding out, or at least without knowing the worst of it, it'd be so much easier.

I know it's a lot to take on, I'm feeling it a bit as we've changed her address to mine as a c/o address for all her creditors as she can't face the mail, and tbh I'm nervous about the letters coming too!! But there's no other option really, I have a bit of experience of dealing with stuff having volunteered for the CAB some years ago and working in building societies and dealing with money, although I figured that it'd be easy to see it a 'case' rather than my mum, which it isn't....

Anyway. Thanks again for your support folks, if you need any more info please let me know and I'll see what I can find out. Sorry for the waffle/typos, I tend to type faster than I think...:o

SpongeBobSP

Good luck with all this. It's really good that you are helping your mum. I am sure with hard work and persistence, you will sort it out.

As Winston Churchill once said: 'If you're going through hell, keep going'

Lizbetty

I'm sure we will get there. As my husband keeps saying, it's a bit like eating an elephant, you have to start somewhere... It just seems like we're starting at a very mucky rear end at the mo, lol!

I forgot to add, mum's 56 and so only has 4 years before she should officially retire, although she wants to work for longer. Hence the slight panic. Her mortgage ends in four years anyway, but having said that, as you can see from the figures, it'll only free up another £350pm which is a drop in the ocean compared to what she'd need to make a dent in her borrowing :eek:

Dad did just sign the bit of paper for the mortgage, he didn't even notice it had gone from £6k to £20k. I assumed that the remortgage was 'the one' to finally sort mum's problems out, unfortunately not.

Anyway, ta again!

Xbigman

Here are some questions.
Is the house in joint names? Could your dad pay the whole mortgage from his income? How much equity is in the house? What are their pension arrangements?

From what I've read so far;
With those debts all in her name (except the mortgage) and given her age she should almost certainly go bankrupt. So she needs to do three things. First your mum must tell your dad. He *will* find out one way or another.
Second. Open a basic bank account and switch all their pay, DD's, etc to it.
Third. Go to the CAB and have a chat about bankruptcy. In particular the position of the house. I think she loses her share of the equity but they cannot repossess and your dad just pays the mortgage, but you need expert advice on this.

The only other options I can see is that they sell the house and downsize to raise money. Is this an option?
Or they can sell and rent, but that brings the question of their pension arrangements and how they would be effected by having a cash lump sum in the bank (they might, for instance, be better off paying any money left from selling their house into a pension fund).

Do not even consider a remortgage.
Regards


X

Lizbetty

Thanks for the reply. The house/mortgage is in joint names - they have a fair bit of equity, the value is around £190k and the mortgage is approx £20k. I had spoken to mum about transferring the mortgage and house over to my dad's name only, but she feels that if she went for an IVA or the big 'b' word, they might suss out that she's done this so they can't touch it and the courts might force them to realise equity anyway. I didn't think that would be the case, but at the moment my commonsense is pretty shot so I'm not sure, I guess this is a question for CSSS when she speaks to them. I'm sure dad could afford the repayments frmo his own salary.

My mum and dad both have their pensions through work, I'm not very up on pensions but mum's been employed at the same place for over 15 years and it's not a bad one.

The very word bankruptcy scares my mum to death, she goes quite pale when I mention it. I got quite excited at the thought that she could do it and put it all behind her (and, more importantly, not borrow any more having a black mark against her, iyswim!), but when I mentioned it she freaked out. She is thinking along the IVA lines but again, we're hoping tha the CCCS will be able to shed some light on this for us. She did learn of someone with a similar amount of income/debt who has an IVA (she saw the details through work) and is pinning her hopes on it, but it's something I'm not up on at all.

I'd best rush off as I'm about to put my daughter to bed (she's playing up for my husband!) but thanks for your advice, once I come back downstairs I'll take some more time to digest it. I really do appreciate any advice that's offered!

Lucy

Lizbetty

Phew...just before I get shouted out for being on here while tea's getting cold....I spoke to mum about selling the hosue and downsizing. It was a lightbulb moment for me as the house is where most of their money has gone (they've never been on holiday and they don't go to the pub, etc), esp since the ceiling caved in due to a roof being repaired badly and the insurer didn't want to know. That was May this year and she's forked out (borrowed..) over £1500 to get the roof and ceiling repaired, even though the actual work was done by my dad and my husband. The insurers have even stalled over the claim for damaged personal effects, so I've done a letter to the ombudsman today about it, finger's crossed they might get somewhere at least with that as the house is quite a mess at the mo with plastering work needing doing, etc.

Anyway, this is besides the point, I figured that downsizing would save on bills, mortgage, maintenance costs, and was quite excited about the prospect on her behalf, but again when I mentioned it, mum doesn't feel it's an option. I guess if it was a choice they could make off their own back without it being a possible necessity, then she might think different, but I can only try and persuade her so much.

Someone once reminded me that you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, I think mum is a bit of a stubborn horse, despite all my efforts!

Again, all advice welcomed.

nidje

Hi Lucy
I can't offer any advice but I do wish you and your mother the very best of luck in sorting this out.
N x