New to the board...shakily posting on behalf of broken mum

Lizbetty

Hi everyone!
I feel like a bit of an intruder but I'm hoping that there might be some sort of support out there, even though it's not me that's in the mess (though it feels like it is!).

My mum has always been 'worried' about money, and struggled with cards and loans. I helped her remortgage about a year ago to raise £20k to alledgedly pay off the worst of it to get back on track.

Last week she said she's in a mess, and so for the first time ever (in 25 years at least) she sat down with me today and worked out how bad it was. I knew it was bad as she mentioned that she'd thought suicide was the only way out of it, which is scary coming from anyone, but especially your own mum.

It turns out she's got £15250 on credit cards and £47800 on loans. We worked out that she has around £193 (before any bills have been paid) this month to pay her gas, electric, food, petrol, etc. The offer of £1 we made to the 14 of her creditors who haven't been paid this month wasn't just a token gesture, that was all she had - all her insurance policies and savings have gone now as she cashed them in to keep her payments up and she can't get any more credit to cover the extra £800 on top of her earnings she was having to find every month to pay her loans and cards. The good news is she hasn't defaulted on anything, the bad news is that it's because she's been borrowing it all.

I've never ever seen her as frightened as she was when I totalled her credit cards up. We rang CCCS and she has an appt at the end of November, but she can't speak to them and so I'll go along and do the talking and just hope she's honest about everything to us (she tends to think 'oh, but that one's only for £80 so I won't mention it, etc). To be honest, I'm absolutely kacking myself as my dad doesn't know, and it really wouldn't help to tell him, and despite trying to pretend I'm not surprised by the figures today and trying to stay positive and cheerful, after we'd done a very approximate budget planner (all we had time for after the holding letters to creditors) I really can't see how she's going to manage (though I didn't let on).

None of her debts (apart from the mortgage) are secured against the house. Her income is £946 per month and so you can imagine the shortfall we're talking about. She's mentioned a individual voluntary payment thing as a way out, she's 56 now so she hasn't long left to sort it out (though she's planning on working past 60 if possible). I'm not sure how these things work but after today I'm wondering if that's her only option.

I hope that you don't mind the waffle, it does feel like it's me in this boat because it's my mum - things probably looking a bit bleak as I'm 7 months pregnant with a 16 month old daughter and we're not able to help mum financially as we're just keeping afloat, although I did write her £1.00 cheques..

If anyone has any advice or support, I would love to hear from you. It's going to be a tough job to help mum out of this one and I'm hoping that there's someone out there who can help me be as supportive as possible, as it's so hard.

Thanks in advance (best go, baby crying!)

Lucy

MasterBell_2

give payplan a call hey should be able to put her on a Debt management programme and sort something out.

https://www.payplan.com

tis free service also

skintasusual

well done for looking after you're mum

I can't really hepl much, but well done for posting and getting you're mum back on track!

It sounds like she might not have enough disposable income for an IVA

someone who knows more will answer i'm sure :j

bigliz

Hi Lucy,
Sorry I can't help with advice but I just wanted to give you a big hug and congrats for helping your mum, she may not be too good with money but she obviously raised a caring daughter!

Fran

Hi Lucy,

She must really trust you to tell you all about it. However, someone else needs to be helping her with it because when you have your baby it will also be christmas and you need to take care of yourself too. Is there no way she would tell your dad? It would be much better for her if she could as he could support her with it, also keeping it secret must have been really bad for her.

Can she get to Citizens Advice - she needs an appointment as soon as possible, end of November is a long time to wait and then it's christmas...

Mizz_Pink

It souonds like you have a lot your plate already so a pat on the back is needed for helping and support your Mum.

People who post on this site will often advise to open up to spouses about their debt, this might help the situation in the long run if she tells your Dad.

I cant really offer much help apart from good luck and perhaps get an appointment with the CAB aswell.

Wish you well and your Mum.

southernscouser

Hi Lucy! Sorry to hear about your problems! :grouphug:

The CCCS are the best bet for you but is there a reason why she can't talk to them? Normally (if not always) the appointment is via telephone. :think:

Can you provide a SOA for her. See this thread for a guide.

Don't worry things will get better.

CLAPTON

to be able to offer any advice, we would need to see your mum's SoA showing income, outgoing and full details of the debts. Also need to know about the housing situation..renting or buying , if buying how much is the house worth and how much the mortgage..is it in joint names and what is the situation with OH.

Biffa

Hi Lucy, sorry to hear your mum is in such a mess. Is there anyway you can post a SOA so we can take a look?

Lizbetty

Thanks so much everyone. Crikey, I didn't expect so many lovely replies, especially so quickly! Husband's about to shout at me to get my tea in a minute, but just to say I haven't got a full soa as such, at the mo I just have a list of creditors, outstanding balances and monthly repayments so that we could do the letters to them all and give the CCCS the basic gen.

I'll see her tomorrow and I'll post asap what info she has on interest, etc.

Thanks again for your support. Best go or else tea'll end up in the bin...

Lucy

beautifulgorgeous_2

Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself as well as your mum.