what happens if someone gets u something megga expensive...

teamcullen

Hob, how about buying one of those nice books (I think they're about a tenner in WH Smith or Paperchase) and filling it full of memories of him, receipts, tickets from dates (if you have any) and pictures.
My ex did that for me the Christmas we first met, we'd been together three weeks lol and gradually over time we filled the book full of thoughts when we were together, pictures and more and more receipts. I still have the book now, full of good memories!

barbiedoll

My husband always used to spend a fortune on me at Christmas, I have loads of gold jewellery that I never wear because he thought that spending money showed that he loved me. I never spent half as much on him because
a) I'm a tightwad and I can't see the point of spending a fortune on a load of useless tat and
b), I wasn't prepared to spend money that I didn't have.

Now that we're skint and the days of expensive gifts are long gone, it's the little things that I appreciate more. He can't buy me a new dress but he takes shopping to my mum when she can't get out because of the snow and he'll listen to my sister when she's crying because her boyfriend called her fat. He supports me and cares for me, and no amount of sparkly things will better that.

Buy your boyfriend and his mum whatever you can afford and no more. If they don't appreciate your gift then they don't appreciate you. Don't stress out over this, it's really not important.

sashadesade

I wouldn't worry too much. You've already told him what you are going to spend, if he chooses to spend more then that's up to him. He must just want to do it - not everyone gives in order to receive, after all!

onlyroz

I wouldn't worry about it unless you know that your partner would get himself into debt if he spent a lot of money. You've made the budgets clear so there's no need to overspend yourself - just make sure you say a nice thank you and enjoy the day.

ema_o

As said above, you suggested a budget. If he chooses to spend more just say thank you, there is definitely no need to keep up, in fact I expect he would feel bad if you spent more than you could afford.

In terms of gifts for him and his mum, could you make something as part of their present? There are loads of ideas on the special occasions / Christmas board.

I made choc truffles for my & oh's Dad's birthdays. Not hugely difficult and really appreciated.

esmf73

Maybe its jewellery?? Engagement rings aren't cheap!!! Seriously though - I can only echo what others have said.

Perhaps sit down and talk WITH him again (not to him!) about budgets and gift giving etc. Then agree a final budget. If he chooses to go over thats his choice.

Why not give him a book of promises? I did this one year with my OH - one promise could be redeemed every month for the year. THings like - breakfast in bed, an hour going round comet and maplins (his favourite!) that sort of thing. Shows you care FAR more than the 10 seconds it takes to tap your pin number into the machine.

paddy's_mum

What's wrong, or inappropriate, in saying to him exactly what you wrote in post number 10 - "I love you but I'm poor".

Can you think of anything better, more truthful or more loving to say?

euronorris

hob wrote: »

my brother dosnt relly understand tho , i do know that money dosnt grow on trees. and hes allways so sweet to me i dont need expensive gifts. i do feel akward when he buys me stuff any way. ill just have to make it up to him on his birthday i guess. im still gonna stress and worrie that he will think i dont cear coz i havent got him a .... idk a gold watch or something.
anyone got any idaes on something thats says ' i love u but im poor' lol

I bought my OH a new frame for a picture his late Grandfather painted, as the old one was literally falling apart, for his 30th last year. It cost less than 20 Euros and it was all I could afford.

He's since told me, several times, it's one of the best gifts he's ever had as it means sooo much to him, and it meant a lot that I cared about the picture too.

Showing you care doesn't need to be expensive.

gonzo127

really why do people put such emphasis on how much something cost,

My brother and his wife are on ~5 times the wage that me, my wife and 3 kids live off so they have a lot more money to spend, however they just go out and spend a load of money – buying a £100 coffee making machine for my parents who maybe have 2 coffees a week at the most, plus loads of other gifts, yet the £15 gift we got them brought them to tears because we had put a lot of thought into what would be best for them.

anyway i am sure, like most guys, he would appreciate bedroom favours much more than a expensive watch, or some expensive aftershave etc as we are all very simple creatures really

Sambucus_Nigra

If it's a double bluff and he gets you something worth £10 and you got him something £50 - would you be upset?