JSA sanction - 18, pregnant,lives alone- help!

Orville

tts42010 wrote: »

I mentioned this as the OP mentioned a violent relationship and rape can be a common occurance in some, that's all.

Yeah i understand that, but to me it's not revelent to why her jsa was sanctioned, or have i missed something....lol

lovetowinacar

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Surely she lived at home until very recently anyway given her age so why is there suddenly no room for her.

How did she expect to support herself, a child and a house if not working? Moving into a house with no income was a foolish move. How does she plan to support the child?

She plans to support herself on benefits - income support, housing benefit etc once the baby arrives. For now I would suggest she speaks to CAB and perhaps father of baby/grandparents each side/ all pull together and try to help out as much as possible

and at 18 weeks pregnancy doesn't always show so would not normally mean employer would automatically discount - keep looking for a job, many women work until just before baby arrives and if healthly no problem doing this

Loopy_Girl

Orville wrote: »

Yeah i understand that, but to me it's not revelent to why her jsa was sanctioned, or have i missed something....lol

No but neither is you asking if a surgeon writes the 1st sick note...can't have it all ways my friend:p

lovetowinacar

piglet25 wrote: »

She has an injunction on him due to domestic violence and the last I heard he was on a park bench drinking cider with his new alcoholic girlfriend, so properbly not an option!

why do people just "get pregnant" with any old body ...alcoholic, abusive, violent,

it amazes me how they can have sex with people like that let alone have birth control failures or even worse planned pregnancies with them (I guess anyone can pick a wrong one as a partner) and yes rape in a "relationship" like this happens all the more reason for birth control if you intend on staying in the relationship as some women do (for years in some cases) and all the more reason to get out ot the relationship.

On the positive side she is out of the abusive relationship so better for the child - good luck to her and the child

Loopy_Girl

hob wrote: »

thats just as bad if not worse then what i said. having sex out of fear almost seems like the better opition then willing sleeping with some one who hurts you because you belive they will change. thats so sad. i dont think i could convince myself that. its seems so messed up that anyone could belive that 'prince charming' and the guy who last week knocked seven bells out of you could be the same guy. i have never been there thankfuly and i hope i never will, call me niave but i honestly didnt think of that. some kinda brain washing all most....

I have never been there either (thankfully) but I have spoken to people and read enough stories to realise that this is more common than you think....why do think women stay with these men? sometimes for decades? cos every so often they may get a glimpse of the 'old him' and he always promises to change. That and fear *sigh*

Anyway...am way way off topic so enough from me on that

Orville

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

No but neither is you asking if a surgeon writes the 1st sick note...can't have it all ways my friend:p

I think there is a massive difference there..! But yeah i conceed you are right...:D

Loopy_Girl

lovetowinacar wrote: »

She plans to support herself on benefits - income support, housing benefit etc once the baby arrives. For now I would suggest she speaks to CAB and perhaps father of baby/grandparents each side/ all pull together and try to help out as much as possible

and at 18 weeks pregnancy doesn't always show so would not normally mean employer would automatically discount - keep looking for a job, many women work until just before baby arrives and if healthly no problem doing this

The OP is actually 21 weeks pregnant....over half way so there is a chance she has a reasonably noticable bump

moggylover

richardvc wrote: »

I have read this thread in its entiriety (spelling?) and have been dismayed by what I have read.

The irony is that I am disappointed by my own opinion on this !

I think that it is outrageous that people can recommend benefit fraud. I also think that it is outrageous that in this civilised society we are looking to deny an eighteen year old pregnant vulnerable girl our help. How would you feel if this was your daughter ?

Equally, I also find it outrageous that someone can get themselves into this position. Pregnant at eighteen, no partner, no job or money and yet the country has to pay for it all from the housing costs to weekly cash payouts when this could have been avoided. I feel as though we are all being mugged.

I am ashamed that I think the latter but am being honest as I can truly see both sides of the argument.

In due consideration I would rather she was helped than left to struggle but there surely has to be a better way. Perhaps us British need to educate our young with the principles of starting families (accidental or otherwise) when we can afford to pay the bills and/or that they will be brought up in a stable household both financially and emotionally.

Am I the only one who can see both sides of the story and has sympathy with this vulnerable girl but angry and used at the same time that the tax payer has to pick up the bill yet again ?

:T:T:T:T:T:T


Very well said: and well done on allowing your compassion to win out:)

I always feel like that about these sort of situations, but would not want any young girl or their child to suffer. Many seem to assume that it will always mean a girl who goes on to have several babies and never work and yet I have read many posts on MSE from mums who started out in this sort of a situation and then managed to turn their lives around.

OP, good luck to your daughter and I do hope that you can work something out:)

lovetowinacar

richardvc wrote: »

I have read this thread in its entiriety (spelling?) and have been dismayed by what I have read.

The irony is that I am disappointed by my own opinion on this !

I think that it is outrageous that people can recommend benefit fraud. I also think that it is outrageous that in this civilised society we are looking to deny an eighteen year old pregnant vulnerable girl our help. How would you feel if this was your daughter ?

Equally, I also find it outrageous that someone can get themselves into this position. Pregnant at eighteen, no partner, no job or money and yet the country has to pay for it all from the housing costs to weekly cash payouts when this could have been avoided. I feel as though we are all being mugged.

I am ashamed that I think the latter but am being honest as I can truly see both sides of the argument.

In due consideration I would rather she was helped than left to struggle but there surely has to be a better way. Perhaps us British need to educate our young with the principles of starting families (accidental or otherwise) when we can afford to pay the bills and/or that they will be brought up in a stable household both financially and emotionally.

Am I the only one who can see both sides of the story and has sympathy with this vulnerable girl but angry and used at the same time that the tax payer has to pick up the bill yet again ?

I totally agree with you also.... both sides

She needs help so contact CAB etc and get the help for her and the baby and the country/taxpayers will support her - the money is there for the claiming and hopefully she will give the baby the best start in life being a great mother

I also can't understand why get pregnant at 18 with no money no job and an ex who is an abusive violent alcoholic:( not the best start for the baby

lovetowinacar

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

The OP is actually 21 weeks pregnant....over half way so there is a chance she has a reasonably noticable bump

for a temporary job in a shop a small bump would not cause a problem.... boots do have other staff who are pregnant