Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

silvercar

The whole babysitter problem was the only thing that would make me tempted to get an au-pair.

I realise that being a 2 parent family made it a whole lot easier but generally either we were going out together or he was abroad/ late meetings and I needed to get to my evening classes to teach. Very stressful times.

Guidelines say that under 16s shouldn't be left alone overnight and babysitters should be 16 or over. There is no legal age that children can be left alone, but if anything goes wrong you are legally responsible for what happens. A 15 year old's parent recently charged with abandonment for allowing his child to have a party in their home, where the kids found the dad's drugs and one overdosed? So it was more what had happened than the fact they were left.

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Guidelines say that under 16s shouldn't be left alone overnight and babysitters should be 16 or over. There is no legal age that children can be left alone, but if anything

wow. DH had lived with his brother both under that age, for a year before one of them was 16. I'd certainly baby sat a lot at that age. I'd been getting the train alone into cities to do stuff alone or with friends...much more scary and potential for danger than sitting at home waiting for parents to come back.

Its a bt worrying that a guideline of 16 to cope in a known, environment is normal when at 16 you can move out and set up alone.

As a child of the ''latch key kid'' generation, there were a lot of problems with that too, but you have to let kids have space in which to grow up and take measured semi independant steps towards adulthood, surely? (I wouldn't recommend DH's or my extremes but we did both survive!)

JonnyBravo

silvercar wrote: »

Guidelines say that under 16s shouldn't be left alone overnight and babysitters should be 16 or over. There is no legal age that children can be left alone, but if anything goes wrong you are legally responsible for what happens. A 15 year old's parent recently charged with abandonment for allowing his child to have a party in their home, where the kids found the dad's drugs and one overdosed? So it was more what had happened than the fact they were left.

Yes I'll back silver's comments here.
Like silver we too left the kids by themselves for short periods at an age which most would caution against, but we were confident enough they were mature enough to look after themselves/be ok for that period.
In short it is your decision to make. No one will give you a definitive age where it's ok and one where it's not. If nothing happens you're in the clear but if something happens you're not. Very helpful...... not.

silvercar

Its a bt worrying that a guideline of 16 to cope in a known, environment is normal when at 16 you can move out and set up alone.

Totally agree.

There was a (post babysitter) stage where the elder of my kids would also be out and I would say that the younger didn't need a babysitter provided he asks a friend to come over so that he wasn't alone in the house. (And of course the friend's parents had to be happy with the idea that the kids were being left alone unsupervised.)

So for one evening out, friends needed gathering and elder needed taxi-ing before we were free!

lemonjelly

LydiaJ wrote: »

Oh do you? Then I've been misinformed. Thank you. What happens if you don't accept it?

Accepting a caution brings an end to any potential criminal proceedings. The police have the option to offer you the opportunity to accept a caution rather than proceed more formally. By accepting the caution, you are effectively pleading guilty. If you reject the caution the police/CPS then have to decide whether a formal prosecution is required or appropriate. Likelihood is that this would involve a court appearance, at which you can defend yourself.

FWIW a caution should not automatically mean dismissal. An employer should have a policy for recruitment of ex-offenders,. Most of the ones I've seen are pretty standard, & it involves looking into the specific details of the offence (in example, I work in a college. Imagine as a 15 year old I got drunk & was a little naughty & got done for criminal damage. New employers would have to give me the opportunity to explain my youthful high jinks & good character since with no repeat offences - that I've been caught for;) - & whether the original offence is likely to be repeated, or impact on me carrying out my job.

JonnyBravo wrote: »

Yes I'll back silver's comments here.
Like silver we too left the kids by themselves for short periods at an age which most would caution against, but we were confident enough they were mature enough to look after themselves/be ok for that period.
In short it is your decision to make. No one will give you a definitive age where it's ok and one where it's not. If nothing happens you're in the clear but if something happens you're not. Very helpful...... not.

The only law on UK books is that you have a legal duty to ensure a child under 12 is not at risk from burning from a fire.

Regarding leaving children alone, it is the sole decision of the parents, taking into account the age of the child/children being left, their maturity, the environment they are in, and the length of time they are unsupervised.

eg leaving a 13 year old for 30 mins whilst running out to the bank to pay a bill would normally be ok. Whereas leaving a 10 year old in chanrge of a 4 year old for a night on the lash, not returning til the next morning probably wouldn't.

I think I have all the above ok, but if I have any errors I'm sure a wiser one than me can amend/correct.:)

lemonjelly

New music alert - I've received the special edition of Tim Booth's solo album. Really liking it atm. Nice album to have on the car stereo in decent(ish) weather!

http://shop.timbooth.co.uk/

Davesnave

I can't remember how old our two were when I left them alone in the daytime to nip over to Homebase. I'd guess they were 13 and 6. I took all of 25 minutes, but when I returned, there was an ambulance on the road outside. :eek:

Apparently, the two of them were playing on the swing when DD2 had a funny turn. She didn't fall off or anything, but just collapsed, and as DD1 described it, "Her eyes were rolling about and she wasn't properly conscious."

So DD1 called 999.....Then she got hold of a neighbour.

DD1 was checked and seemed OK, so we let the paramedics go on their way.The hospital was just up the road and she checked out as OK there as well.

She'd never done anything like that before, and hasn't since. Just shows that even with sensible children and nothing terrible happening, a potential emergency can still arise.

But don't get me started on emegencies with other people's kids.....After 20-something years of residentials, I know that anything can happen, especially the last thing you'd imagine!:rotfl:

GDB2222

GDB2222 wrote: »

"No, not yet - this is the plan. First flat (sorting that now), then wedding, then baby. So hold the congrats for a bit!"

You haven't been consistent about this.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

In what sense?

Well, you did it in a different order with Isaac. You're just catching up now.

michaels

Please could everyone think positive thoughts for IM today. Thanks

lemonjelly

michaels wrote: »

Please could everyone think positive thoughts for IM today. Thanks

What has happened michaels?

PM me if it is not a public issue please.