Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

It's brilliant having you on this board as you can see things as an adult with Aspergers and you can put into words what my two cannot as yet.

Being brought up without the label, living a life, working, owning homes, going out and having to do everything that you do in life .... all without ever knowing, but coming home to my 'sanctuary' and being upset/distressed/confused/angry .... I've got a lot of experiences throughout life in every situation where an Aspie can suffer.

All those things "I knew" I couldn't do, and times when I couldn't get across what I meant ... they all hurt and stuck and I've taken a lot of 'bullying' for trying to say I can't do things, when it turns out I couldn't and there was a reason all along. Feeling frustrated for a lifetime over 10,000 incidents - with the ability of an Aspie to replay, replay, replay, replay some things in your mind forever - means I've got fistfulls of them to pluck out of my mind

Just stupid stuff. I used to say the reason I gave up being a PA was because I didn't like making coffee.... it was one of the big nasties I had to do in the job. I now know that the problem I have with coffee is remembering who has what, having to have everything "just so", then struggling to actually 'balance and progress' from where you make it into the boss' room - I've some dyspraxia and I just used to know "I can't balance this stuff and walk, I'll spill it, I can't open doors when I am holding a tray". And there's more to it, but being asked to make coffee for 2-3 people is a major task for me, fraught with danger and anxiety.

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

Do you know, that is exactly what is happening with middle son and this subject. The teacher fires questions at him, he tries to remember or work out what she is talking about, she gets annoyed and fires more questions, he gets stressed and then she doesn't listen when he has finally worked out what she was originally talking about and puts him down as someone who doesn't want to do the work.

And yes, the teacher'/student relationship has completely broken down because of it.

It hurts me to type this stuff, it all comes flooding back. It never stops hurting.

But that is exactly how it is. In the time you're taking to work out what they're talking about because they weren't specific, you get to look like a right clueless moron who hasn't done it at all - then they stomp off and before you know it you're in trouble. Copy book blotted forever in their eyes.... and they never listened

Davesnave

silvercar wrote: »

Now I won't be able to see a traffic cone on the road without thinking of your alternative usage.

Well, think of me using them to defend myself from the drivers around here when I try to brushcut the verges.

PasturesNew

Maybe the police could use big traffic cones to control drunk chavs on Friday/Saturday nights.

Davesnave

PasturesNew wrote: »

Maybe the police could use big traffic cones to control drunk chavs on Friday/Saturday nights.

It would be quite a good punishment, being forced to wear a giant one for a week, a bit like being tagged but with much less manoeuvrability. Now there's an image for you, silvercar.

Lovely day here. I've had the back door wide open again since 11am, just like it was until about 6 weeks ago.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

It hurts me to type this stuff, it all comes flooding back. It never stops hurting.

But that is exactly how it is. In the time you're taking to work out what they're talking about because they weren't specific, you get to look like a right clueless moron who hasn't done it at all - then they stomp off and before you know it you're in trouble. Copy book blotted forever in their eyes.... and they never listened

I just want you to know you couldn't appear less like this clueless moron online.

I'm not belittling how you feel, I just want you to know its not how I for one ''see'' you. You're FANTASTIC :j:j:beer:

PasturesNew

Davesnave wrote: »

It would be quite a good punishment, being forced to wear a giant one for a week

It's a common theme for new year's eve fancy dress here. There's often 6-8 as a group, dressed as cones. They go down the road coning it off randomly as they go pub to pub.

michaels

And if that's the most lewd thing they do with the cones when wasted then you live in a very nice part of the country...

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's a common theme for new year's eve fancy dress here. There's often 6-8 as a group, dressed as cones. They go down the road coning it off randomly as they go pub to pub.

tomterm8

PasturesNew wrote: »

The trouble is, that nobody will wait for that. They want to give you some verbal instructions, what to do lists, etc, and expect you to remember it. Well, I can't.
.

... er, dictaphone.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've got about a 15-17" screen here.

I used to have a really nice little 24 inch screen.

Sigh.

Laptops are nice in some ways, but I miss my big screen.

wageslave

PasturesNew wrote: »

The other one where I'm "caught out" by verbal instructions where it's all gone pear-shaped is where you're working on many things and some boss comes up to you and just asks "have you done the report?" Well, my brain has to break off from what I'm doing, then digest their words ... by then they're agitated and assume I've not done it, so then they speak again - annoyed that I've not done something important.... and I enquire "which report?" which they take to mean "I have completely forgotten to do that", so their next words are annoyed/agitated and make me feel like !!!!!!.... and when I eventually manage to get them to slow down and I work out which report, I tell them that it's done, it was done, to deadline, as requested, spot on - and dealt with exactly how it should have been. But they're not listening by then and I am left to feel distressed and down and bad all day. A few similar misunderstandings and the job's usually 'spoilt' for me and there's a complete relationship breakdown in the workplace.

I just had years of this and never knew why. Now I do, but, to be honest, I am really too scared to go back into the workplace these days.

I have always thought you are exactly the same as the rest of us PN only you take things more to heart.

This post confirms it.

At work, I write everything down too. It is just common sense.

I get flustered if someone starts firing questions out of context at me and frustration, with myself or situations, can easily ruin my day. Everyone is the same.

Thinking something is "spoilt" beyond redemption, be it a relationship or a job, is not an unusual thing either. The trick is to wait it out. A week or a month later you feel completely differently. Never make sudden moves when you are in the grip of strong emotions.

As to being scared to go back into the workplace because of previous bad experiences, again it is like anything in life.

You can take the easy path and just give up or you can grit your teeth and go on.

Try again PN and this time make the decision to ride the hard times out. Draw your line in the sand and don't allow yourself to cross it

You are a great deal stronger than you seem to realise