Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

sss555s

misskool wrote: »

okay everyone, we need to start the party for 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKxodgpyGec

Good things about 2010, change
Bad things about 2010, changes

He as good on Buzzcocks last night.

A happy hogmanay to you all :beer:

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

Just had the most revolting insect in the house...curling its bottom like a scorpion. Little bit afraid of putting feet on the floor now.

I had one of those once, disgusting it was. Mine was out in the garden, it marched across the patio and up the wall.

It's a Scorpion Beetle.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4097/4918865373_6172edf7d6.jpg

I still shudder.

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

Have you had The Family Meeting yet? Could be an idea so everyone knows what to expect and for you to state that you are happy to help whenever but you can't be a f/t carer now.....same as them.

No. But I did bring the subject up on the phone with one before Xmas. And I've started dropping "1 bedroom bungalow is what you want" lines into conversations around the house.

PasturesNew

JonnyBravo wrote: »

Not so.
There are very good external paints available nowadays.
Our was done 5 years ago when we had an extension done and showing no signs of wear at all.

The one time I had to have one painted, I was at the seaside and the winters are really rough on a peninsula, there are fierce salty gales a lot of nights while you soft land-dwellers are tucked up in bed.

SingleSue

I can understand where you are coming from PN....when I was younger, I never imagined a life of being a carer, a successful career woman yes, a carer no.

Caring just wasn't in my life plan, in fact, having children wasn't really in my life plan...they were for when I had built up a successful career and then I was only going to have one at around the age of 40. I can't say I have a particularly sympathetic nature, I am certainly not mumsy (I never have been able to get myself into all that making costumes for shows or Christmas parties - my best would be a bin liner with holes cut into it).

But the body does some amazing things, I went from someone who couldn't give a damn about having children to one whose biological clock started ticking very loudly and desperately upon being told that I only had a very small window to become pregnant, only for that window to pass and to be left in absolute despair at the thought of no children ever.

So you can imagine our joy at the miracle that was eldest son, he was a million to one chance, the pregnancy that had been deemed impossible..so impossible, the doctor refused to believe the positive pregnancy result - he thought it was a phantom one brought about by my condition where the hormones had gone crazy.

He wasn't planned but boy was he welcome, even if it had the knock on effect of creating problems we still feel today.

We then had the despair of missing the window again after eldest was born, had to have so many operations to try to keep that window extended, having to have fertility treatment and then after giving up (and another operation), finally falling for middle son 3 years later (we had started trying immediately we could after eldest was born)...but here it started to go really wrong and where the caring role began.

The pregnancy with middle son was not easy, I had to give up work and rest as the pregnancy was damaging my kidneys, there was spinal compression that the doctor warned could result in my ending up in a wheelchair permanently and then finally, an absolutely horrendous labour where middle son was effectively stillborn due to a true knot in his cord (and a midwife who didn't really read the signs very well that he was in acute distress). We didn't even know what sex we had had until 30 minutes after his delivery as they were working on him on the other side of the room to get his heart beating and his breathing going...the result was damage to parts of his brain due to oxygen deprivation which has caused partial deafness, horrendous short term memory problems and an inability to control emotions, hunger or anger.

We didn't want any more children after that....

Youngest was a complete accident, never planned for and I hate to say, not wanted on my part. I went into a real deep depression when I found out I was pregnant, it shouldn't have happened, I was breast feeding, I had had no periods and I was having the deepo injection but happened it did. I did eventually come to terms with the fact I was having another baby but the idea of another delivery scared the life out of me...what if this time it went completely wrong and the baby didn't survive.

By the time youngest was born, middle son was already showing signs that things were not ok...I think trapping the health visitor up against the wall with the playpen was a huge clue, his aggression was already frightening, his strength already that of a much older child.

I think I always had an inkling youngest was not 'normal', he would cry to be put down rather than picked up...he hated being held, hated having the normal attention a baby would want but it really went down shortly after he was 1 (and had his MMR) when he completely closed down, became non verbal (he had been our earliest talker - that stopped until he was nearly 5), took no interest in the world at all...it was heartbreaking.

And thus, my caring role was really born...between the two of them, it was a never ending rush from one appointment to another, one call from a playgroup to another, one tantrum or screaming fit to another.

It broke me in the end, trying to work as many hours as I could fit around the boys, hardly sleeping, no time to rest at all....any spare hours I had, I went in and did overtime, even if it was only an hour. I pushed and pushed my body and mind, trying to hold everything together, trying to hold onto my dream of a proper career until it broke in early 2005 and I had a breakdown due to complete physical and mental exhaustion.

It took 4 years to recover to what I now call my holding station, I will never be back to who I was before, I still chase my demons but I can cope on a day to day basis without medication..and that is how I do things, day to day rather than week to week or month to month.

And I still resent my caring role, my dreams have shattered, I know I could still have a career of sorts when they are older (I hope and pray!) but it won't be the career I wanted, or reach the heights I imagined...my peak was 1990-1993 and I doubt if it will ever get back there again, I am too old now.

Ok, my take on 2010

Good bits

Eldest doing so much better than anyone had predicted in his GCSE's. Proving the teachers wrong and me right when I said he did have brains and they thought he didn't.

Eldest being accepted into 6th Form and starting A levels.

Middle son being awarded mathmatician of the month several times and already being at a level in the subject which far exceeds national standards for the end of the year instead of the start of the year.

Middle son being musical and really showing his talents.

Youngest son still being at a normal high school even if it is just barely.

Youngest avoiding a hospital admission for the first time in a few years (although he still has today to go and his asthma is playing up again today!)

Bad points

Eldest son's diagnosis which could put him in a wheelchair at an early age....or even his early death due to the associated heart problems.

Dad's strokes.

My own physical health deteriorating to the point where I am reliant on walking aids, painkillers, physio etc. My demons have also reared their ugly heads more time than I care to remember in the last 6 months leaving me feeling like I am staring over the precipice once more.

Middle son being in hospital for a week.

As for height....I am a short !!!!!

treliac

sss555s wrote: »

A happy hogmanay to you all :beer:

And a Very Happy New Year from me to all the lovely 'Nice People' too.

t xx

LydiaJ

Typing words on a screen feels such a trivial gesture in the light of what you are dealing with, Sue, but I couldn't read that without posting something to reiterate that we all think you're inspirational, and we are all behind you.

GDB2222

nellyII wrote: »

Interesting stuff. I am 6ft 2" and I used to play amateur rugby for a decent team. Following a cup win we decided to go on a bender from hell, as we were queing to get in a club i had the urge to pee so I did behind a wheelie bin. 2 slappers walked passed and one of them shouted hey big boy are you all in proportion ? I shouted back if I was in proportion I'd be 12ft 2

Is there any correlation, in fact?

silvercar

Did I confuse 5' for 5"?

Is there any correlation, in fact?

You don't get many 6' 7" ers wearing size 6 shoes.

JonnyBravo

silvercar wrote: »

You don't get many 6' 7" ers wearing size 6 shoes.

Damn right.

<-- Size 15 (not overly large for my height really)