Ungrateful teenager...

seven-day-weekend

I think he has done very well to save his £100 and that must be acknowledged and he must be told how proud you are of him for doing it.

HOWEVER...£53 is a perfectly respectable sum to pay for a Christmas present and I think you should do what someone else has suggested and say that if he doesn't want it as an early Christmas present, then it is a loan and he must pay you back. (but still let him have the item now as a 'reward' for him saving up the £100).

Then he can have something else (small) for Christmas.

culpepper

I haven't read all the comments but I think it is none of his business what you do or don't give him for Christmas.
He has been given a helping hand towards buying an expensive toy and that is that.
Why should he be dictating what he receives for Christmas?
If he knows the way money is handled in your home he already knows it is not just spare cash you have given.
If he were my son ,I would be happy for him to use it when it arrives but would not be looking at buying a big present for him ,for xmas .There are 2 other kids and they must count too ,whatever he may think. Would he rather they had less at xmas so that he can have his cake and eat it?

blessings3

Ok lets try it like this

''You ungratful little ***** that alot of money i've spent and if i get you more then the whole family will suffer and we wont have enough to eat and the other kids will be wearning rags ''

or

'' well done for saving the money and wasn't it fantastic that we managed to get it early and cheeper too - thats really great money saving! I hope you appreciate that the extra money Mum and Dad spent means we wont be able to buyn you anty games as they are so expensive but as you are so good at saving you have time to save up for some''

Lois_Lane

I can see the problem, and I sympathise with you, having had similar problems when my own son was a teenager. I think the issue for the 13 year old is that he has paid most of the money towards it, and putting the value aside, this is one item that is now expected to be both something he has bought himself, AND his Christmas present. It's very important at that age to be able to tell your friends what you get for birthdays and Christmas, and that could be what is driving him to be difficult about it - he wants to be able to say he bought the PS himself with savings and birthday money, and then be able to say he got something worthwhile for Christmas.

Obviously I can't get inside the mind of the average teenager, so I do think the best plan is to talk to him and find a solution, which could be that he has it now and pays you back the £53, then gets something else for Christmas.

Good luck!

LL

Lois_Lane

seven-day-weekend wrote:

HOWEVER...£53 is a perfectly respectable sum to pay for a Christmas present

Is it?

My children are both over 25 now, and we used to budget £100 for their Christmas presents 10-15 years ago, and we weren't particularly well off.

It's probably the subject of another thread, if there isn't one already, but I'd be interested to know how much parents budget for their children's Christmas presents nowadays.

LL

astonsmummy

I reckon you should let him have it, not as an xmas present, for a 13 year old to SAVE £100 is blooming excellent! Maybe the £53 could be a reward for being good with his money.
People say 'we were happy wen we were kids gettig an orange for xmas' but times have changed, alot. Even now, and i'm 22 i'd be gutted if i got no presents.
I know he'll be getting other presents but if you think about it, he was saving with the intention to but it himself, it's only because your friends got a bargain that he's able to get it now.
I'm not saying spoil kids but xmas only comes once a year and theres nothing more exciting than opening lots of pressies on xmas day (even if there is 15 £1 pressies!)

victory

blessings3 wrote:

Ok lets try it like this



'' well done for saving the money and wasn't it fantastic that we managed to get it early and cheeper too - thats really great money saving! I hope you appreciate that the extra money Mum and Dad spent means we wont be able to buyn you anty games as they are so expensive but as you are so good at saving you have time to save up for some''

I'll go with the second blessings3. I have spoken to him, we now agree that he is a fantastic kid for saving so much and he is now proud of himself as he should be!
He will get xmas money as he does from relatives every year so will be able to buy his own games.
I take all other points of peer pressure and how he needs to tell his mates he saved/bought it, now he can!

blessings3

Victory - Victory lol You don't sound like somone who would raise an ''ungrateful'' child just someone who has a 13 year old and I think the fact that he has saved £100 says alot about your parenting!

ailuro2

ok, for a hundred quid you can give him the actual console,no accessories.
Say A BIG WELL DONE for saving up to buy the psp..here it is.Good boy, pat on the head

I bought the accessories and a game from my same friend and will give them to you at Christmas, or,if you prefer,you can have them now as an early Christmas present!

Also,like the OP I'd mention he has time to save up for more games that may be in the sale after Christmas,so even more MSE'ing to be done!

Proby

In my view teenagers are very tricky creatures and mine, 15 and 17 leave me in a state of disbelief and incredulity with their responses. some days things are taken on the nose with good grace, other days you could buy them Alton Towers and they'd be angry and miserable. They are truely powerful beings who will, if allowed dominate with their moods ranging from hyeractive hysteria to deep injustice and misery in a matter of hours. parents with out teenagers say 'talk to them......why do you do that for them etc, etc' Finding a time when they will talk at all is tough.

i do not know the right way to deal with this but what I do know is that most things are felt very strongly and self condemnation is never far away.
The teenage years are for separation and gaining control thus angry confrontation and pushing into corners, with no room for negociation is fatal with a teenager.

My last piece of advice is cod liver oil which appears to massively balance the mood- for everyone!



is tough ,