Ungrateful teenager...

victory

Addiscomber wrote:

ROFLMHO





In later years the majority of families seem to have got more affluent . Most of this stuff carries a high entry level price tag, together with quite high running costs - the extra games, say, or the price of calls on a mobile 'phone. Add in a bit of peer pressure and some teenage hormones and you can get a very stroppy mix. This can be exceedingly hard to cope with at a time when one is having to cut back all round just to keep one's head above water.

Absolutely exactly my point, I have been in debt before, it was no fun, I will not be made to feel guilty or bullied into money giving by a stroppy, tv,friends, keep up with the latest trend influences.
I know what it is like to go without, I cannot afford 2 sets of monies to appease- so he fits in, so he is happy,so he has what his mates have.
I will honour the short-fall but will take it off the xmas presents, he has to learn he cannot as I or the rest of the family have what he wants all the time.
I know there is precious point harping back to the times when I was younger and the joy was a doll or the stocking contents and that was your lot. I know he has pressure, I understand fully but I cannot add pressure to myself by getting him it all-debt is not what I would wish on my worst enemy.
Xmas- paying it off in march just to appease-no thanks xxx

Princessa_2

Personally I'd ask my friend to return it on her way back and tell him he can save up on his own the £200. Or I'd keep hold of it till he's paid it off. Besides, does it have any games with it? If you give him it now, how is he going to get a game for it? If you're taking his pocket money off him till it's paid off, then he won't be able to play on it till he's save up for a game! If there's a game with it, take it out of the pack and give him it when he's paid it all off!

Throbbe

Actually, I'm going to side with Blessings to an extent. I was probably a snotty teenager at times, and no doubt my parents will be supressing giggles when my daughter is the same. Grandparental evidence suggests that my parents had their moments too!

I think he does deserve recognition for saving a fair bit of money for himself at 13, which is a valuable lesson learnt. That said, you don't want to give him the idea that throwing a strop will get him what he wants. You know your son better than me, is he likely to be rational if you explain the above and maybe go for a compromise like paying £20 towards it (or not charging him for electricity, and rent, food, phone bills, etc )?

victory

yes there is a game with it, the value pack comes with all the bits it needs-memory card,battery charger,leads, bag and one game.

[Deleted User]

Ah the dangers of handing over money without contractual agreements (or discussing it before giving him 50 quid).

To have a slightly more extreme view on this... I'm 26 and my parents just gave me 10k towards a deposit on a house, after I saved up 10k also. Now, no one's discussed Xmas presents with me, but i'd still be a bit upset if my mum and dad didn't get me anything.

At 13, 100 quid is a massive amount of money and you should be proud to have a kid that can save that money without blowing it on sweets and football boots. If you never told him this was his Xmas present, then I think it's unfair for it to magically disappear. You never told him that beforehand.. i can see why he'd be annoyed.

I'd buy my parents a nice presents this year, but i'm skint now i'm paying for a mortgage

victory

Throbbe wrote:

Actually, I'm going to side with Blessings to an extent. I was probably a snotty teenager at times, and no doubt my parents will be supressing giggles when my daughter is the same. Grandparental evidence suggests that my parents had their moments too!

I think he does deserve recognition for saving a fair bit of money for himself at 13, which is a valuable lesson learnt. That said, you don't want to give him the idea that throwing a strop will get him what he wants. You know your son better than me, is he likely to be rational if you explain the above and maybe go for a compromise like paying £20 towards it (or not charging him for electricity, and rent, food, phone bills, etc )?

Yes, he has saved and deserves recognition, he has seen how sometimes we have been strapped and every means of cutting back have had to be enforced to keep heads above water.
It is not so bad now but I would never want to return to it and boy is he stroppy now, he wants to own it all so I will let him by taking it off xmas presents. xxx

Princessa_2

ringo_24601 wrote:

Ah the dangers of handing over money without contractual agreements (or discussing it before giving him 50 quid).

To have a slightly more extreme view on this... I'm 26 and my parents just gave me 10k towards a deposit on a house, after I saved up 10k also. Now, no one's discussed Xmas presents with me, but i'd still be a bit upset if my mum and dad didn't get me anything.

At 13, 100 quid is a massive amount of money and you should be proud to have a kid that can save that money without blowing it on sweets and football boots. If you never told him this was his Xmas present, then I think it's unfair for it to magically disappear. You never told him that beforehand.. i can see why he'd be annoyed.

I'd buy my parents a nice presents this year, but i'm skint now i'm paying for a mortgage

But what if your parents were skint after giving you the money? Would you expect a present off them still? I'm sure you're parents won't be skint, but the OP can't afford to do both, so hence the money going towards their son's xmas present.

And if, at 26, you'll get upset that your parents haven't got you a present after giving you all that money, what's to say they won't be upset at not getting a present off you, after them giving you alot of money?

[Deleted User]

Actually, i feel guilt looking at expensive stuff for the house, knowing that I'm using my 10k to buy shiney things, and mum and dad's 10k went so we could just get the mortgage. Technically they're calling it an 'interest free loan' until I get married.

If my parents couldn't afford it, i'd never take that kind of money from them. Oh, they'll get presents, i just might not be as nice as last years (dad got a laser leveller and mum got a box of L'Occataine smelly things) and they'll understand. Maybe I'll get that family photo organised like they've wanted for a while.

Princessa_2

yeah but new shiney things are always needed. We've also just bought our first house and it's costing us a fortune to decorate. A family photo sounds a lovely idea.

blessings3

This is not about credit culture or overspending to please a child/loan sharks/ world poverty etc - but thanks for the advice

Its about a 13yr old perception - ie he earnt £100 and now its his christmas present. I'm not saying give in - I'm saying use a little savvy - present it the right way - this ''Hard parenting'' that seams so popular produces alienated /defiant/ ungrateful and Hard teenagers that are unprepared to give anything away emotionally or materially as it has all had to be fought for and is thiers so there!!! The language used in some of the posts says so much - Attitude is everything