Ungrateful teenager...

blessings3

Why do whe have such downers on kids? - I donnt remember being this gratfeull - satisfied with an orange and a lump of coal kids that you all seam to have been

I wanted loads of things as a kid

annie-c

I think he DOES seem ungrateful, but I also agree that this has become a tough situation because you needed to act quickly and so didn't agree the terms properly before buying the games console.

Would it be possible for you to arrange a sit-down chat with him in order to discuss the situation. Maybe you could acknowledge to him that in an ideal world you'd have had the chat before the deal was done and acknowledge that he is feeling hard-done by. Acknowledging a teenager's feelings can be really helpful, and it doesn't necessarily equate with giving in. It might make it easier for him to accept the terms that you are going to set out. Maybe you could say:

1. Let's sit down and have a chat - we're both upset and it's a shame to spoil a good thing by arguing
2. You're sorry THAT (not for) you weren't able to have this chat in advance and you're sorry THAT he's upset
3. You appreciate that he has saved hard for his games console and you're proud of him
4. However, you need to explain to him the reasons why you have decided that the £50 extra has to come from his christmas present budget and list them x, y, z

Hopefully, if you can have an honest chat now then you'll save having a morose teenager around the place over Christmas... and you'll be teaching him a valuable lesson about finances.

alzeebub

lol teenagers eh, ungrateful little !!!!!!s.

Echoing the advice already mentioned here, take the £53 back in one way or another, then he can truly say he paid for it and expect other xmas presents.

hobo28

stand firm!

blessings3

Explain, teach and parent

blessings3

or just be bolshy - have a crap 9 weeks till xmas a bloddy awaful newyear and a resentful and alienated teenager

victory

oh blessings3 you are funny!! that is it, crap 9 weeks!! True his contribution is large for 13 year old(saved pocket money, birthday money in sep,doing the odd job around the house,etc) I just think that to ask for it twice is too much-i.e pay now the £53 and I expect another money for xmas so in the end have I not paid for it myself?!!
Fully agree annie, that is what I am going to do, he does seem to feel hard done by and we have reached logger heads, me-be grateful! him-no, I saved for it!!
Sisyphus- exactly what H said, why get it now and then what at xmas? It just happened that way with getting it from the duty free shop.

Addiscomber

recovering_spendaholic wrote:

(and that's it I have officially turned into my Mother!!)

ROFLMHO

blessings3 wrote:

Why do whe have such downers on kids? - I donnt remember being this gratfeull - satisfied with an orange and a lump of coal kids that you all seam to have been

I wanted loads of things as a kid

I obviously don't know how old you are, but I am in my mid-fifties, and we really didn't have a lot for Christmas or birthdays. We enjoyed them because that was what was normal and we didn't expect any more. Also there simply wasn't as much stuff to buy as there is today - most of it hadn't been invented. Things like trainsets could be bought as basic kits and added to for subsequent presents so parents could pitch it at their budget level.

In later years the majority of families seem to have got more affluent or else the credit culture has crept in, and gradually a generation of, particularly, but not exclusively, teenagers has come along, many of whom who are used to having more or less anything they wanted showered on them. (I have views on why this might have happened but do not think this is the thread to air them in.) However, financially, families are now going backwards as debt is realised to be unsustainable and taxes have risen, and this trend will get worse as students emerge from further and higher education with higher and higher debts and find accommodation costs rising before their very eyes. Unfortunately the media is still pushing the consumerist lifestyle in front of children's (and our) eyes. Most of this stuff carries a high entry level price tag, together with quite high running costs - the extra games, say, or the price of calls on a mobile 'phone. Add in a bit of peer pressure and some teenage hormones and you can get a very stroppy mix. This can be exceedingly hard to cope with at a time when one is having to cut back all round just to keep one's head above water.

annie-c

victory wrote:

Fully agree annie, that is what I am going to do, he does seem to feel hard done by and we have reached logger heads, me-be grateful! him-no, I saved for it!!
Sisyphus- exactly what H said, why get it now and then what at xmas? It just happened that way with getting it from the duty free shop.

I wonder if he is aware that you already have lots of things wrapped up for him and he is a bit worried that this is it and he will get nothing for Christmas. He may already have bragged to his friends and be feeling embarassed that he thought this was a done deal and now it's 'turned into' his Christmas present. Maybe he feels that all his efforts to save were wasted because he has simply done himself out of a Christmas present. Maybe by talking things through with him you can reassure him that Christmas will still be Christmas and that his saving HAS been worthwhile.

Hope you manage to sort it. You clearly are concerned for both him and his behaviour and he, if a stroppy teenager (like the rest of them!) is clearly a sensible lad cash-wise - it would be such a shame to let it spoil your relationship over Christmas :eek:

black-saturn

Had a similar argument with my daughter in a shop yesterday. She has £40 of her birthday money left which she wanted to spend on Dr Who toys. She couldnt find the ones she wanted so she decided to buy a PS2 game instead but then said I had to find the toys she wanted on the net and buy them for her because she didnt get what she really wanted. I told her that if she held on to her money until after xmas she would be able to get what she wanted but like any other youngster it was burning a hole in her pocket. So she spent it. Shes got something coming if she thinks I'm now going to buy her what she wouldnt wait for.