Am I being unreasonable?

Imp

Sounds like it is time to set up a joint bank account, with all money going into it, and all money coming out of each. Each half of the relationship should be individually and jointly responsible for the relationship's finances.

And then a joint savings account can be set up, with spare money from the end of the month going into it, and each half of the couple dipping into it when needed.

And then get rid of individual accounts.:o

Bibbitybob

Imp wrote: »

Sounds like it is time to set up a joint bank account, with all money going into it, and all money coming out of each. Each half of the relationship should be individually and jointly responsible for the relationship's finances.

And then a joint savings account can be set up, with spare money from the end of the month going into it, and each half of the couple dipping into it when needed.

And then get rid of individual accounts.:o

I'm trying to work out whether this post is sarcastic or not

meritaten

Doesnt anyone else think its strange that going go karting has suddenly turned into a stag do? I havent heard of stag dos go-karting? I think the OP suspects she is being lied to as well as the financial aspects. and I think she is right! he may well not be up to any funny business - but I bet my boots (and I am very fond of them as they are real cool lady biker boots), he AINT go karting!

mackemdave

[QUOTE=McKneff;38851622

And if he doesnt, follow it through, lock all the doors and dont let him in, [/QUOTE]
Absolutely stupid suggestion........If hes had a drink its just going to inflame the whole situation...You cant stop him from entering his own house

honeypop

meritaten wrote: »

Doesnt anyone else think its strange that going go karting has suddenly turned into a stag do? I havent heard of stag dos go-karting?

Go karting is a really popular thing to do for a stag do, the majority DH and my brother have been on have started with an afternoon of karting.

meritaten

yes but, how does an afternoon of karting suddenly turn into a stag do and OH is unable to return tonight? obviously something else was planned and the OP is only now hearing about it. I would be furious too!

liney

meritaten wrote: »

yes but, how does an afternoon of karting suddenly turn into a stag do and OH is unable to return tonight? obviously something else was planned and the OP is only now hearing about it. I would be furious too!

Perhaps the friends neglected to tell him because they knew he wouldn't be allowed to go. By telling him it was just Go Karting, they could give a few beers afterwards and persued him.

So if this happened, the question is how often is DH forbidden from joining the group for it to be so apparent to them?

Alternatively the DH is just a liar.

Imp

Bibbitybob wrote: »

I'm trying to work out whether this post is sarcastic or not

No, I'm being serious. The only reason I can see for keeping separate accounts in a life time relationship is for tax reasons.

heretolearn_2

Imp's advice to have a joint account is not good in this situation.

While I agree that it's a nice idea to just pool everything, it takes a lot of trust, and for both people to deserve that trust. Otherwise you can end up in a much worse situation if someone isn't good with money or is selfish (as this husband clearly is). It's too much risk - she could see her money disappearing into his pocket as well!

SandC

How did it go OP?

I'm against the locking out scenario, it's childish and achieves nothing - and always, always involves someone else who wants nothing to do with your domestics.

Seems to me like this isn't something that happens very often, if it ever has. But OP does seem to resent paying the lion's share of the household bills. So now is the time to have a talk about these things as it seems that this one night out (where he probably in all innocence has thought was all fine seeing as he didn't get told to drag his self back home after the first phone call) has brought up all kinds of issues.

For what it's worth, I do understand and I would be peed off too, but going to your mum's for a few days when at the time you wrote this he would have been blissfully unaware of your anger and state of mind, is just not fair.