Am I being unreasonable?

Nat1977

robpw2 wrote: »

do you know whos house they are staying at ? i would drive kids round and drop them off and say to him he needs to loo after the, emergency and see how he likes it

Believe me, i would love to, unfortunately he is in London and I am in Northampton.

I just tried to phone him and his phone is off, so I am locking all the doors and going out tomorrow, he hasnt taken his key so can't get in. i might even go and stay with my Mum for a couple of nights. Its not that I dont trust him, he is not like that.

choille

I think you've dropped down into a doormat position & need to pick yourself up pretty dash quick.


He doesn't sound very mature.

You really need to start getting things sorted out as it no way to live & it's no example for your kids.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Have an empty purse for the next fortnight. And staying with your Mum sounds a good idea, as long as you remove anything saleable from the house when you go.

BitterAndTwisted

Actually, I don't think locking him out of the house is the best route to getting a fair shake of the money coming into the household. A very satisfying thought to see him locked out in the cold with a hangover, however. The only thing I can see coming out of doing that is to have a broken window to pay for and a tit-for-tat battle with all swords drawn, especially if you bring your Mum into the equation.

I think it would be best to sit tight, wait for him to return and then have a full and frank discussion about it.

DVardysShadow

McKneff wrote: »

I agree with you entirely, how does he have money and you dont.

How are your finances sorted especially when you have 4 kids.

Tell him to get himself home or he wont have a home to come home to tomorrow

And if he doesnt, follow it through, lock all the doors and dont let him in, his mates and himself seem to come before you five.

If he has been drinking now, where is he going between now and when the clubs open.

Dont be peed off when or if he comes home today. Tell him you need to have a good long discussion and do it, but calmly.

I certainly wouldnt put up with his 'single lad' behaviour.

I think that the essence of Nat's complaint is not that he is away like this - more that he is free to do this and she has had to pass up on an opportunity for a more modest night out and she does not get to go anywhere with him.

Locking him out may relieve some frustration. But it seems guaranteed to lock in place a simmering mutual resentment which makes it difficult for OH to have a night out while doing nothing whatsoever to improve Nat's position.

I would be interested to hear of any instances where a lockout has actually enhanced the sharing aspects of a relationship.

pinkshoes

He sounds like a !!!!!!!

Definitely go to your mum's for a couple of days, as he needs to learn that your the mother of his children and a human being, not a door mat!

hot.chick

it's one night out...

right or wrong I dont think it deserves him not being able to get into his own home...

he might have been thoughtless - and it's make you see that you need to sort out the money situation as home, I think your angry because of money and your situation - this night out and him being a bit thoughtless has just brought it to a head.

I bet he has no idea u feel this way - talk to him get it out in the open CALMLY and re work out your finances.

you will feel happier and not so put upon...

but try not to punish him for a night out - he will not be responsive to a conversation after being locked out of his own home.

swiss69

I think you have issues with him that are not related to his night out, more with the whole situation and your relationship.

I would let this one go but then when things are calmer, have a chat with him about how you feel

****kara****

why are you paying all the bills? sorry but you are having the pee taken out of you. If he is working then he should be paying half or put the money all together and split fairly once everything is paid for.

You are not being unfair at all but as long as you let him treat you like a doormat, then he will continue to do so (and I mean this in the nicest way). Set him straight!

lilac_rainbow

If the problem is he's gone out, then yes, I do think you're being unreasonable tbh

If the problem is that he has gone out and spent your weekly household budget which you can ill afford then maybe you're not

I've done it myself, gone out for a meal and driven because we couldn't afford for me to stay over and once I have been out and the others have had a few drinks it is easy to get swayed. When I called my OH and asked if it was ok if i crashed on the floor in the B&B he was fine about it