I Miss My Daughter So Much

tesuhoha

My daughter has gone to Australia. She was in a dead end agency job with unsociable hours and was treated badly so she scrimped and saved for two years to go to Australia. Her plan was to get a good job out there to save some money and also some good work experience for her CV. She has a one year working holiday visa.

However, now she is there she has realised its not the land of milk and honey we thought it was. She is finding it very difficult to get a job and as its so expensive there her savings are running out fast.

I am trying to be positive to encourage her to stay because its better for her and there is nothing here for her but I am so sad. I really miss her. We used to shop, and go to the cinema together, we used to go for coffee or something to eat. If she comes back she will have no job, no money and she will be back to square one as she was two years ago before she got the agency job so I am hoping she gets herself a job. However, I am all mixed up because I want her home for Christmas. I am not looking forward to christmas at all this year and have opted to work up to Christmas Eve.

I know if she finds a job she might be back after a year but its a long time yet she would be in a better position then with perhaps some savings and better work experience. I keep telling her not to give up and to keep trying but she probably thinks I am pushing her away and don't want her home because she is homesick and lonely out there.

whitewing

I don't know how it would work seeing as she is already over there, but may be worth contacting BUNAC to see if they can help her:

http://www.bunac.org/uk/workaustralia/

One of my acquantances did New Zealand a couple of years ago and had the best time. I know a couple of other people who've done it over the years and all say good things.

Even if she comes back now, she has still been there so not a waste, a valuable experience of life in another country.

If she stays, you will feel much better the minute she rings with exciting news.

solongmarianne

I have nothing much helpful to say, sorry. But how about video chatting , where you can see each other (im not technical, but hopefully you get what i mean) I feel for you, its awful being away from the ones we love. I miss my sister very much . hugs x

GemJar_2

aww you sound like such a lovely lady! I don't really have anything helpful to say except that maybe if your daughter is homesick and not getting a job, the same as england, then maybe she is better off here?

good luck xx

Brighton_belle

tesuhoha wrote: »

I keep telling her not to give up and to keep trying but she probably thinks I am pushing her away and don't want her home because she is homesick and lonely out there.

OP, why don't you just tell her this? i.e. "I'm really missing you but I am encouraging you to stick it out and keep trying becasue I so want you to be happy and you may break through any day and find something. Then think what a fantastic opportunity the next year will be etc etc."
If you tell her, then you will stop torturing yourself that she will think you are pushing her away.

**curlywurly**

Not sure if this will help, but I find this website very helpful for all things Oz: http://www.pomsinoz.com/

sueeve

My daughter is in Canada, has been for some while, and I never feel far from her. Being close to someone isn't about distance I have discovered, you can be far from your daughter when she is in the next room. Closeness is of the heart.
Things will work out. You are in touch, you love each other.

tesuhoha

Thank you for your lovely replies. I would be much happier if she was happy and getting on well. I will pass on the links.

JC9297

I understand that you miss your daughter, thats normal, but if she decides not to stay in Australia it has to be about what she wants, not you. It's OK to tell her you miss her but not that you're dreading Christmas without her, you'll just make her feel sad and more likely to give up and come home. Carry on encouraging her, I'm sure she does not feel you are pushing her away and don't want her home as she knows that you love her, you are just trying to make sure she does not give up too easily and live to regret it.

tesuhoha

JC9297 wrote: »

I understand that you miss your daughter, thats normal, but if she decides not to stay in Australia it has to be about what she wants, not you. It's OK to tell her you miss her but not that you're dreading Christmas without her, you'll just make her feel sad and more likely to give up and come home. Carry on encouraging her, I'm sure she does not feel you are pushing her away and don't want her home as she knows that you love her, you are just trying to make sure she does not give up too easily and live to regret it.

I hear what you are saying. I would not dream of telling her that. In fact I'm feeling a bit ashamed of myself. I posted at a low moment.

jackieglasgow

No need to feel ashamed, you miss her, its natural, and if you hadn't posted, you would have continued to bottle it up and upset yourself. And you would have never got those links, which might prove useful to her. x