going it alone and tackling the debt.

fizzypops

hi all
i have always had a nose through peoples diaries on here and now i feel like it is time to stop lurking and start my own diary.

the reason behind this is i found out 2 weeks ago my partner was seeing someone else, we have 2 kiddies together age 7 and 4 and have been together 9 years since i was 16, it obviously hit me hard but i feel like the only way is upwards now for me and my boys. ex has now moved out and in with his new partner (i cant call her what i really want to on here!!) i have always been a stay at home mum to my boys but have been attending college studying bookkeeping for 7 months and really enjoy it.
i have recently recieved a first payment from income support (please dont shoot me down in flames i am not planning on staying on it for long.) and i am already finding it diffficult to survive as i have been left with a bit of debt from when i stupidly paid the balance of his credit cards onto mine :mad: he knew he was planning to leave me at the time but couldnt be bothered to tell me!!
i also bought most of the xmas presents for my boys before he left but as he paid with them with "his" money that he earnt from working he has taken them with him so i need to also find the money to buy presents again now.

anyway my debt is not massive and it was coming down quite nicely with a decent wage coming in but now i know im going to struggle therefor im sure my diary will keep me motivated!!

my debts are

cc1 £386.66
cc2 £912.10
catalouge £24.58

i will try and keep this a happy diary as i start on my new life with my boys so if i start moaning to much please will someone kick me up the bum!!! :cool:

so here goes.....................

louisebt

Well done in starting a diary!, I know exactly what your going through, I dont have kids but i found out a wee while ago my now ex was cheating on me too, well, he'd text tenants in work and has done some other silly things, sadly i am still living under the same roof as him.... but not for long !
Claiming IS is nothing to worry about, thats what it's there for so keep smiling and plugging away at your bills, you'll soon get there

fizzypops

thanks for your reply louisebt and sorry your going through the same thing.
xxx

louisebt

My biggest bugbear is the timing (my dad is very poorly and has been in hospital a long time)
but we will get through this ;-), keep your chin up xxx

fizzypops

i have now paid £10.00 towards cc1, i already made min payment last week but i want to concentrate on clearing this debt first, must top up my elec key in a min before i run out so will put another £10 on there then i need to buy pull ups as i have completly run out!!


going to cook spag bol tonight as i have all the ingrediants for that then need to start crimbo shopping again!! :mad:
will probably pop into the local town tomorrow to have a look as i know a few bits i want to get. hopefully the rain stops soon otherwise it will be another wet walk up the school to pick the boys up, i really need to hoover my car out but cant see the point in this weather as it doent take long to get dirty again so will leave that job for the forseeable future!!! :cool:

fizzypops

well the rain didnt stop so we got soaked!!
topped up my electric key so that should last for a week or so
just cooking dinner then got to pop to my mums to pick up the bits she bought me whilst she went shopping today.
ex being a total moron texting me trying to wind me up but as soon as i ask when he wants to see the kids he doesnt reply apparently his signal is rubbish!!! :mad:

mum2one

Sorry to hear the break-up, income support isn't the best, but its doable with a push and a shove.
Can't believe what he has done re the xmas prezzies, I know its hard not to rush out and get the top I wants, but remember that your the one getting everything throughout the year, and yes whilst xmas is important, how many times have kids had a present and been a 5 min wonder, but something that has been asked for since enternity.....
Your doing brilliantly and back at college, ur braver than me with the book keeping, - I'm studying with The Open Uni foing business, but anything accounts related I'm out of here!!
You seem to be keeping your chin up, and getting sorted. Take care xx

fizzypops

thanks for your reply mum2one - i think im trying to be strong for my kids, my mum keeps telling me i need to talk to people about how i feel but im afraid if i do i will just breakdown if that makes sense.
im not going to spend a lot at xmas as i cant afford it and i know the kids would rather have a happy mummy at xmas rather then a mummy who is worrying and stressed because i have more debt to clear. :cool:

need to do some cleaning at home then my mum has invited me round hers for lunch so that will be nice (i think she wants to make sure im eating properly!!!)
will probably only be able to pay £1 on my debts today as i joined the pad thread and dont want to give up on the 2nd day!! every little helps i suppose. have to buy some bread and milk today oh and a pressie for ds1 friends party on sat but that shouldnt cost to much so hoping for a low spend day if possible.
better get on with the cleaning otherwise ill never make it to lunch!!!

chevalier

I will never understand why people leave it til this time of the year to leave. I know it was you who found out, but it is still pretty cruddy of your x to take all of the presents. And if he is being a git, then get the CSA involved pronto. There is no reason for you to be struggling...

good luck with the course, well done on retraining.

take care
chev

mandz1

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH. that is cruel of him to take the presents. it may have been his money that paid for them but its you that took the time to choose and find them. I split with my ex in may but not because he cheated but for other reasons.And he left me with ALOT of debt, after a few months of asking for child maintence i finally made him give me between £40-£50 a week for his 2 boys.

You can do this and im sure you will give your kids the best christmas ever and your mum will help.
And being on income support while bring up kids isnt a crime, you are devoting your time to the best job in the world, being a mum.

pennywisepoundstupid

Hi fizzy, don't have much advice sorry, but still wanted to send you hugs.

Its really sh!tty that he has taken the presents and treated you so awfully, at least you have your boys, my children are 7 and 6, i try to make christmas special by doing things with them and spending quality time with them, we makeour own wrapping paper, old wallpaper and potatoes cut into stars, make reindeer dust to spinkle outside on christmas eve, bake biscuits and eat them curled up on the sofa watching a christmas film, you don't need to spend a fortune to have a nice christmas.

I really hope things work out for you and as others have said make sure he pays his way where the boys are concerned.

take care PWPS