Whipped them all soundly, and sent them to bed. A nation of child haters.

Orpheo

Graham_Devon wrote: »

Have you got a figure in your head for how many nerves you want to touch?

:rotfl:

It has already exceeded my indignation targets.

Interesting how, in spite of her not having any input into this thread whatsoever, some responders have chosen to attack my daughter. :eek:Child haters are most welcome to hold me to account for whatever I post, but spare the innocent children. For shame. I think they could at least have the courtesy to announce which category they fall in, career parents, weak parents, child beaters or those who dislike the children of others.

Lucylucky, how can you not read something and then condemn it? What else are you prejudiced about? The truth is that you did read it didn't you? You just thought "I stopped reading at..." would be a way to post something without actually saying anything at all and hoping, on the off-chance, that it might make you sound cutting. Lucy, you cut (and are) like a wooden spoon. I expect that, in spite of the fact that you don't actually read posts before commenting, you read "I stopped reading at" somewhere else, used more aptly by a poster significantly more clever than you.

Orpheo

LilacPixie wrote: »

I also have my rules even although our oldest is only 4 she knows we expect her to be polite and have good manners at all times, pick up her toys etc etc. The amount of children we meet either at dance class or soft play who are older yet just little madams is :eek: MUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM I want a fruit shoot NOOOOOOWWWW :rotfl:

I commend you.:T

nomoreboomandbust

lostinrates wrote: »

I've recently started taking care of a friends baby occasionally. I feel honoured to be the first non-family member he was left alone with. Its great fun and good for people with no kids, or maybe who haven't had kids for a while, to interact with them....makes us more appreciative of those bags under parents eyes, and you learn the colour songs on a weird caterpiller toy which is handy when you run out of tunes to sing in the bath.

I hope you are CRB approved :eek: . Seriously though, Britain has a reputation for considering kids to be a "pain" shall we say (hating is too strong a word I think) it's a case of children must be seen but not heard.

How many times do we hear the words "they love children in Spain, Italy, Portugal, etc ", but you won't hear people say the same about Britain, maybe it's the rose tinted spectacles when people travel aboard.

movilogo

The cost of childcare went thru roof recently.

Unless both parents are high earners, it often makes sense for the less earning parent to leave job and look after the child (most often moms quit jobs to look after the baby).

So you now have bigger family with less income. So standard of living will fall (compared to double income and no kid). Not to speak other things that affects flexibility in life (eg. travelling with small kids etc.)

That's why the nation has turned into child haters.

Stop child benefit but make child care free at least.

Economy does have effect of having a child. Last year we planned for baby but I lost job. So we had to postpone it. Then I got a job and recently became proud parents of a baby

Fortunately we thought about family when buying our house few years back. So, no need to move to bigger house until #2 arrives.

StevieJ

hillcats wrote: »

Orpheo - a very high % of your post is certainly correct.
We adore our two girls, I work full time and SWMBO works part time to support them and to pay all our bills and enjoy our lifestyle, we had a family treat to Orlando and Magical Kingdom earlier this year that was a great time together and a MUST to repeat (2012 Hopefully?)

I digress: I think it is great when other people get the hump when your kids are being naughty in public, which sometimes happens; I mean ESPECIALLY the older generation dont they remember what kids are like... stop tutting !!

Yes, as someone made a point earlier, it is not the kids who can be a problem it is some parents :eek:

MissMoneypenny

Orpheo wrote: »

Toddlers throw tantrums. Deal with it. If someone's toddler is having a paddy in the supermarket, it is not bad parenting, it is what toddlers do. If you find it annoying, tough $*@t.

Neither of my toddlers had tantrums. I did things with them: we talked to each other (not me talking at them). I took the time to explain why I was saying "no". We met up with and went out with other parents and toddlers too and none of their children had tantrums either.

It seems it's much easier to blame the "terrible twos" instead of working out why your child is frustrated with your behaviour.

ninky_2

i love children. i also love animals. it's for this very reason i don't want to have my own children or keep a pet.

children and animals need far more than love. many people forget this. there is also more to loving children than having your own. making the world a better place for them in general. helping others to support their children.

i love my neice and nephew and will be helping their future by leaving whatever i have to them. combined with their own parents help this should help no end.


(as for animals - i help them by supporting wildlife charities and organisations that aim to increase habitats. one of the worst things you can do if you love animals is support the pet trade.)

StevieJ

ninky wrote: »

(as for animals - i help them by supporting wildlife charities and organisations that aim to increase habitats. one of the worst things you can do if you love animals is support the pet trade.)

Although, dogs (in general) seem to love being pets.

Orpheo

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Neither of my toddlers had tantrums. I did things with them: we talked to each other (not me talking at them). I took the time to explain why I was saying "no". We met up with and went out with other parents and toddlers too and none of their children had tantrums either.

It seems it's much easier to blame the "terrible twos" instead of working out why your child is frustrated with your behaviour.

I'm glad your strategy worked with your children. It just goes to prove that if children are related to in the right way things can be sorted out or prevented. Well done you.

But you still imply that tantrums are caused by bad parenting which is just not true, or perhaps you think that badly parented children are prone to tantrums whereas well parented children are not. This is wrong, some children have more tantrums than others, some have very few. My own daughter had few, but I see no need to deny them. I agree that frustration is behind it, but that frustration can be caused by a number of things such as hunger, tiredness, wanting attention or not getting their own way. Have you studied any child psychology, yes, excellent, so did I (Oh, perhaps you thought I had chosen a subject that I didn't know?),then you will know that Jean Piaget recognised that children are egocentric and as such find it difficult to appreciate a viewpoint other than their own. As such they tend to become frustrated and easily back themselves into a corner. This can be managed, it looks like you managed this very well.

You say that tantrums are caused when a child is frustrated by your behaviour, yes, when they are failing to get their own way or have been refused something. Nevertheless you are the adult. Should an adult give in to a child's egocentrism in order to prevent frustration? If you explained why you were saying "no" then you have still asserted yourself as an adult and if your children accepted that without frustration, every time, then their cognitive development was very good.

wherediditallgothen

Orpheo wrote: »

I'm glad your strategy worked with your children. It just goes to prove that if children are related to in the right way things can be sorted out or prevented. Well done you.

But you still imply that tantrums are caused by bad parenting which is just not true, or perhaps you think that badly parented children are prone to tantrums whereas well parented children are not. This is wrong, some children have more tantrums than others, some have very few. My own daughter had few, but I see no need to deny them. I agree that frustration is behind it, but that frustration can be caused by a number of things such as hunger, tiredness, wanting attention or not getting their own way. Have you studied any child psychology, yes, excellent, so did I (Oh, perhaps you thought I had chosen a subject that I didn't know),then you will know that Jean Piaget recognised that children are egocentric and as such find it difficult to appreciate a viewpoint other than their own. As such they tend to become frustrated and easily back themselves into a corner. This can be managed, it looks like you managed this very well.

You say that tantrums are caused when a child is frustrated by your behaviour, yes, when they are failing to get their own way or have been refused something. Nevertheless you are the adult. Should an adult give in to a child's egocentrism in order to prevent frustration? If you explained why you were saying "no" then you have still asserted yourself as an adult and if your children accepted that without frustration, every time, then their cognitive development was very good.

All children have tantrums. The ones who realise that their tantrums will get them what they want will carry that on until it no longer works.