What if I decide to have only one child? Does it look abonormal in the Uk?

lily76

we had thought of having three children, two boys and one girl, but due to my very hard delivery of the first one,my son, I might not want to have anymore. I heard that if you have a csection once then you need to have csection the next time as well. I really don't like it so I don't want to have another one. Am I too selfish? Will my son be hurt and feel lonely?

Kimberley82

You dont have to have another c section lots of women dont.

But if you only want one child thats fine, there is no law to say you must have more.

Tropez

I was essentially brought up an only child being the youngest and by the time I was 3 the others had left home. I didn't feel lonely and I wasn't hurt; at times I thought it was great, especially when I got to see the bickering between my friends and their siblings.

Imp

The fertillity rate in the UK is now less than 2, so it is not abnormal for women to have 1 or no children. Small families are now the norm.

January20

I only had one child. She is now 17. She has always loved being an only child, has never felt lonely because nowadays children and teenagers spend so much more time with their friends. She has grown into a mature young lady who is a delight to be with.

I am glad I made the choice of having only one child and be able to give her my full attention and I never had to "divide" myself and my resources between several children.

Whether it is abnormal or not in the UK, whatever other people say, the questions they may or may not ask, it is your body, your family, your life and you do what is best for you!

lily76

Kimberley82 wrote: »

You dont have to have another c section lots of women dont.

But if you only want one child thats fine, there is no law to say you must have more.

I do want more but the experience of going under knife is not so good. I am not so confident to avoid csection as if I want another one in three years I will be 37 by then.

pinkclouds

Your son won't necessarily be lonely. Some people don't like their siblings and some people are introverted and shy by nature. You can't control how these things turn out. If you ensure he is well supported and gets lot of social interaction, he could turn out to be a bubbly, confident little chap with loads of friends. Even when you grow old, if he has a few good friends and a nice family of his own, he won't necessarily be shouldering the burden/grief/whatever on his own.

It is entirely possible to over-think anything and everything.

If you do have any more kids, you might not need a c-section - you could have a VBAC. Why not have a chat with your GP or OBG? It might be worth knowing the odds so you can decide whether the risk is worth it or not.

jennypdolphin

My first child was via CS but my second was natural. If you decide to go again they may offer you a CS but if you dont want one you dont have to have one.

Whether you have 1 child or 10 is up to you and your partner, if you are afraid that your child may be lonely there are plenty of clubs etc that you can take him to.

Tammer

Hi,

In today's Observer there's a story about a forthcoming research report that says lone children are happier than those with brothers and/or sisters.

Human nature means that we're pre-programmed to ignore this type of thing though otherwise there is a chance the population would decline.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/nov/14/only-children-happier-competition-bullying

seven-day-weekend

Tropez wrote: »

I was essentially brought up an only child being the youngest and by the time I was 3 the others had left home. I didn't feel lonely and I wasn't hurt; at times I thought it was great, especially when I got to see the bickering between my friends and their siblings.

Same here.:)

And I only have had one child myself.

Threebabes

I have 3 kids. I think a lot of people have 1 child. My friend has 1 child and will not be having more. She goes out of her way to take her DD out and have friends over.

I love having the 3, the noise and hustle and bustle. Its what suits you though, the horror of the birth may fade in time.

:-)