MSE Pregnancy Club 20

chickywiggle

stitches: cue one midwife looking up there "i think i can do it". cue her going off duty and next one taking a look "no it's too deep/ long for me to do i'll have to find a dr". cue another midwife half hour later "i might be able to do it, let me have a go"........ just as a VERY VERY gay dr walked in and hurt me LOTS!!!!
can't remember who said about it still hurting, please ask to be checked (even by your now midwife). my friend got sown up incorrectly and they semi closed her 'hole' so 6 months after birth she was taken back in and operated on to cut and restitch her.


toileting: don't forget if you pour warmish water slowly over either bit when you go it helps ease the pain. ALSO my midwife just checked when she came round for the few days after if i'd 'gone' and did say she could prescribe me some lactolous to help if I'd not done one by the next time she popped over.
I must say I have NEVER heard of the hospital refusimg to let you go home if you haven't pooped. wee'd yes but not pooped. Teh baby is a different matter tho, my DS is as 'weekly' as me for going and refused to do anything in front of the nursing staiff. i was on the ward after begging to go home and they were going to refuse. just then he wee'd and i had a cry so they made me promise i would come straight back if he'd not gone in 12 hours or i was concerned. WAHOOO I have never got dressed and packed so fast in my life!!!

tinkwings: you never know - it could be your body flushing itself out ready (tho there is also a tummy bug doing the rounds, I had 12 hours of solidly throwing up every half hour the other night)

dusty: I'm sure bubs is fine, I adore back massages but it hurts to lay on my tummy now I have to kinda prop it on a pilloiw. still doesn't stop you worrying you have doen something tho. If its a consolation tinywiggle is being very quet too. HOPING for my 16 week midwife appt this week (a week late) so i can hear the heartbeat ohhhhhh a I am SOOOOOO excited and nervous.

and on a lighter note my mat hospital sends you home with condoms and contraception advice........ just what you are thiking about 12 hours after birth!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

ohhhh and roll on :xmastree::xmastree::xmastree: I love it!! tho even i have to think my friend putting her tree up today is pushing it a bit

Teenie_D

nic2075 wrote: »

Teenie when is your 20 week scan?
Im 17+4 today ( a few days behind you I think?) and I havnt had a letter yet. I just want a date so i know when to travel back down after the move. I wanted it down here so i could hopefully find out the flavour. ill be 20 weeks on the 9th so i thought id know by now.

Mine is the 15th December I will be 21 + 4. I got my scan date when I went for my 12 week scan and they gave me my next consutlant appointment then too.

Might be worth phoning them and explaining what is going on so at least that is one thing off your mind.

Charlie1978

I've got mine already too nic. I'm booked in on 20th Dec. I'll be 20 weeks that week. They initially booked it in as they wasn't going to give me a 12 week scan and just booked the 20 week one in automatically. I just received a letter and a card through the post.

Teenie_D

nic2075 wrote: »

Childibrth is so undignified. but when its happening and immediatly after you really dont care whos been looking at you. But later on and the next few days you just want your body back. So if its not necessary then I decline or fib.

Wow this is freaky, that was so like me too LOL! I thought I would have had no probs people checking down there, I had numeorus midwifes checking me for a week but when the midwife asked if I wanted her to look at my stitches I was just like absolutely not on your nelly! In hindsight i think i should have as I never felt the same and like you after dtd it can still hurt.

Actually I'm kind of hoping the damage from last time will be repaired this time LOL

sarahangel

Morning all

I see you are discussing colourful subject matter again!

I'm not good today, OH is being a ***** (enter your own explective here!)

Long story short I've always struggled with my weight and I yo-yo between size 10 -16 dependent on my mental health - I get depressed and tend to comfort eat.

OH has a very fixed idea of what I should weigh (he has a weight in his head) which would make me about a size 12 so not super skinny and when I'm not this size he goes mardy, stops talking to me and is generally cold.

2 years ago we split up because of this (I'd gone up to size 16) and because at that time I didn't want to try for another baby as I had just gone back to work full time after my last pregnancy loss.
After 3 months apart we did get back together and decided to make a go of it. We both made promises of trying harder etc and things looked good again and I fell pregnant in May this year.

Anyway, I have noticed him becoming a cold fish again, well, since about when I was 20 weeks I've seen the change and he has been saying things like "when the baby comes I'll get you a gym membership" and that I can walk to take DD to school etc to get back into shape.
Last night I got throughly fed up with not being communicated with and supported through this pregnancy for the last 10 weeks or so as it is starting to really upset me and make my mind fear the worst (another woman) as he has been really distant.

He admitted that again he doesn't like me the way I am, finds me unattractive etc and he has made me feel generally like carp.
I'm also still worried about him seeking out someone else, his best friend has just split up from his long term girlfriend and expects OH to be his "pulling partner" and OH sees no problem with this. I just don't know what to do and say as he just doesn't seem to care that I'll be at home 30 weeks pregnant with DD who is 8, feelling rubbish with SPD, depression and low self esteem whilst he is living a batchelor lifestyle again and the worst of it all he thinks and feels he is doing/done nothing wrong.

I don't know what to say to him to make him understand how I feel. Its made me feel really anxious today, so much so that I've been being sick and sobbing since I took DD to school.

Sorry girls, I feel really low today and I have no-one to talk to. So called friends seemed to have disappeared when I got pregnant, I'm no longer at work due to my SPD and my mum is working today and I needed to get it off my chest.

Charlie1978

Sarah hun, I honestly don't know what to say. The independent i'm not taking any rubbish part of me is stunned. Stunned that you would allow yourself to be treated this way. Who does he think he is?

But some part of me feels that that's not what you want to hear. You clearly love this man and want to desperately make things work.

I've got to be honest, were it one of my BFF's i'd be saying 'sit him down, tell him what's what and if he doesn't see your point of view put out the rubbish'.

I'm sorry. I know that isn't helpful. But I was raised to believe that people should love you for who you are. And whilst not arrogant with it, I firmly believe that if a man doesn't like what he see's on the outside, well then he can just go jump off a cliff quite frankly. Love me for who I am. Otherwise, there's the door, watch you don't bang your head on the way out.

Sorry hun... it's the way I am. HUGS xx

chickywiggle

<<hugs sarahangel>> what is it with men being grade A ******'s at the moment???!!! wishhi knew what to say, other then I've been there this last week and know just how you're feeling.

CL

Sarah I really feel for you. Maybe you need to tell him if he doesn't support you and make you feel secure he'll be out on his ear (and mean it). Bad relationships are like a plaster, you are better ripping it off quickly than dragging the inevitable out. Apologies if you feel that you can make it work long term, but my BF had a 6 year relationships with someone who constantly criticised her weight and damaged her self esteem (and she is stunning looking). There were no children, which makes it less complicated, but she now feels like she wasted years of her life on him and wishes she had admitted it was never going to work out a lot earlier.

hngrymummy

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Well...I was just leaving a parking space when this guy pulled in and parked behind me (not a parking space) and blocked me in.
I asked him to move as we were leaving, he said he wouldn't as he had children to pick up (?!) and I asked him again, he ignored me and wandered off.
We were sat there for 10 min and then he moved, parking on a double yellow. So (and this is shameful) as I drove slowly past him I leaned out of the window and broke his wing mirror with my hand.
I did say sorry, but that is kind of not the point.

You nearly made me choke on a grape with that.

I would've found a parking warden had it been me, and also been very tempted to 'accidentaly' let my handbag clasp run down the side of the car as I walked past to find said parking warden. But then I was ina bad mood all weekend too. Some people are just sooo rude when it comes to parking. We were parked at the hospital, just got back to the car and a woman came up and parked behind us in a way that meant we coukdn't get the car out (and it's a little car). we asked her to move and she just laughed and said "surely you can get your little car out of there" so DH offered her the car keys and said "You have a go" "Oh no, I might drive into my car" ermmmm..... yes.

ema_o

((hugs)) sarahangel

I will tell your OH where to go if that helps? I know my OH can be a bit funny about my weight, although he hasn't been bad with me' being pg, it is me' who's been talking about walking lots with bubs etc. I did read that by about 20 weeks it's normal to have put on 10 to 13lb which is about where I am, I think telling him this helped a bit xx