Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

immoral_angeluk

vickitoria100 wrote: »

if you say you work at Tesco you don't have to pay to enter

Wouldn't they check it out though?

pk2007_2

Hi I-A
good luck with your preparation for race for life. are you planning to run the 5K?

Beth86

Ooooh Good Luck hun!

immoral_angeluk

Had a good day yesterday and was considering stopping taking the anti depressants but in the end I still took them as everyone was saying you shouldn't stop them without seeing the doctor. Going to see how today goes but feeling fine this morning so I reckon being able to talk to someone about how I was feeling has helped in itself, plus Ste has been really sweet and helping out more which has helped tonnes (He even brought me a bunch of flowers yesterday...awwww he never buys me flowers!).

Yesterday K kept giving me tonnes of smiles as well which perked me up as she normally only smiles for her dad and nanny. Plus she's been really good the past couple of days and hardly cried which is when I would have been most affected.

Hopefully it does turn out to be just bad baby blues and not full blown PND. Am wondering if I stop the pills now whether I'd still get withdrawal effects? Hmmm...

I can't believe it's Ashli's birthday tomorrow. Everything was up in the air about being able to take her to the safari park on sunday but I'm happy to say it's officially back on now. I can't wait I just know she's going to love it. We're having a party for her tomorrow night and MIL is coming with me to do the shopping for it (Thank god.. think I would have a breakdown trying to lug shopping bag, push a pram AND keep Ash in check... ).

Hopefully today will be another good day. It's just typical that I have a horrendous couple of weeks with me being all over the place but as soon as I go to the doctors and get given pills to sort me out my brain seems to think 'AHHH tricked you'. What a nightmare.

We had our new council tax bill today (moan) and it's gone up by £5. Not too bad I supposed. Apparently ours is one of the lowest increases in the country (4.5%) so suppose I can't complain.

tigzem

Glad you had a better day, and bet you can't wait til Sunday - enjoy it. Hope the weather is nice for you.

Our council tax went up by £45, not as bad as some.

immoral_angeluk

Is that a month or a year?????????

tigzem

A year... thankfully!

immoral_angeluk

Phew.. lol. Ours has gone up by £60 a year.

vickitoria100

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Wouldn't they check it out though?

i don't think so. i have never done it but my friend signed us all up and put that we worked at tescos and so entry was free and you get a free t-shirt. you could try?

but maybe as it's for charity this should be one thing we shouldn't be trying to save on ?

gallygirl

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I feel a bit of a fraud this morning. I don't feel too bad. Still a bit off from what Ste said but I do feel better for having spoken to the doctor but now I feel better I keep convincing myself that I've been making it all up or something daft. I know how I've been and I was totally honest with the doctor yesterday but what if it's just bad baby blues? I'm taking the pills for nothing and plying my body with chemicals it doesn't need. Am considering not taking any more and just battling through it.
Oh I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I just need to tell myself to snap out of it and start being myself again. It seems stupid that one minute I can be laughing and smiling and the next I'm all over the place. I always thought PND was a constant thing?? I feel a bit low all the time but it's when things get on top of me that I have a complete emotional meltdown... what if I've managed to subconciously convince myself that I've got PND when I haven't?

*sigh*

I know a lot has been posted since but this post really touched a nerve with me as I had mild depression 10 yrs ago. I was told teh tablets would take 2 wks to work but woke up the next day feeling a lot better (wasn't the psychological boost of having them cos when I was told 2 wks I felt worse, thought I'd never be able to get through it).
PND is not constant. What makes it worse is when anything stressful happens - and as you've seen that happens a lot with a baby!!! But how you are reacting is text book stuff. Instead of thinking 'that wasn't nice of me' it becomes 'I'm a horrible person', if you break a glass it wasn't a stupid thing to do but was because you are stupid, instead of 'what a shame I've been let down and plans have to change' you decide it's all your fault for being so useless and planning wrong in the 1st place etc.
As for snapping out of it - yes, you do need to. And believe me, YOU WILL. However, you can only snap out of it and pull yourself up when you're nearly back up there anyway. Give it time, that's what the tablets are for. So keep taking them!
Chin up and have a great weekend with the birthday girl!