Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

Snaggles

God, sorry, I rambled on for ages then......you probably don't have time to read such a long post!!

immoral_angeluk

Who would've thought something so innocent could cause so much grief? lol.

looby75

awww she's soooooo cute IA!!!! I want one

immoral_angeluk

Argh I just did a big long post and MSE deleted it. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks snaggles. It's been so long since Ashli was K's age that I think we've forgotten how hard it was! Saying that though Ashli was such a placid baby and rarely cried, slept through from 4 weeks (11-7am) and settled into a routine early on... I should've known I couldn't expect the same luck twice!
I'm fed up of feeling like this but I know it is just a temporary thing (I hope! lol). It's hard when Steve's got such a short temper and no patience when he's tired which means that I'munder pressure to do everything just for a quiet (ha!) life. He did the middle of the night feed last night after I joked that I'd give him a tenner to do the feed when K was stirring.. to which he went off on one and stormed downstairs and I felt like the worst person in the world.
You know what it's like though, you always hurt those closest to you.

I just want this phase to be over with as quickly as possible so I can be happy again. Don't get me wrong I love my girls to pieces and the problem is with me, not them.

Snaggles

immoral_angeluk wrote:

You know what it's like though, you always hurt those closest to you.

Yes, that's true, but (and I'm sure Steve realises this underneath it all), you need his love, support and patience now more than ever. Explain to him that if he can give you these things, you will be able to cope more easily, which will have the knock-on effect of taking some of the pressure off him. Otherwise it can become a vicious circle.

immoral_angeluk wrote:

I just want this phase to be over with as quickly as possible so I can be happy again. Don't get me wrong I love my girls to pieces and the problem is with me, not them.

No! There is no problem with you! You are a fantastic Mum to those two lovely little girls (I know I don't know you, but I can just tell!).

You have been running on adrenaline and excitement until now, and it just ran out, so you've hit the wall. Think of it as being like riding a bike......when you get to a steep hill, drop down a gear or two, and just pedal steadily. You'll get to the top much quicker than if you try and maintain your speed, burn yourself out, and have to get off and push it. (I'm sorry, I'm talking crap hahaha)

wannasavemoney

Hi IA, I've been following your thread with interest and think you are doing an amazing job. It seems that it has all just caught up with you and now is the time to take stock and draw strength from the amazing achievements you have made over the past few months. Its not easy when the second child comes along I remember when ds2 was born i soon learned that i needed eyes in the back of my head with ds1! he was 2 at the time and a typical boy 2 year old. Like you i tried to do everything cos oh was back to work within a week:eek: I was still getting over my ceasar as well so found the first 6-8 weeks extremely hard. It does end and eventually you can get out and about. My tip is not to get a double buggy, but to get a buggy board. My ds1 loved it! and it made it so much easier to get out and about. as he could walk a little too (less tantrums and it tired him out a treat)!:D They are both now 6 and 4 years old and now walk everywhere and when i say "get in the car" they can both do their own seatbelts:T small thing but still bliss after the hassle of strapping in. It does get better, hope you haven't fallen asleep during this booklet lol. Best tip of all, go and run yourself a nice hot bath tonight, lock the door and let oh deal with teatime for the kids. He may be back at work but remember he gets a break from it all at work, you don't. take care.

wannasavemoney

She's gorgeous!

earwig

hi ia
please dont beat your self up over this i used to feel like you after the birth of my second child what i did was tell my oh that he was doing the night feeds and when he got in from work he got the kids ready for bed as well giving me time to recharge myself for the evening a head

my ds cryed all the time and was fedding every two to three hours so what my oh did was go to bed at 830 and would do ds feed at 3am and 530 am and i would do the 11 and 1 oclock one that way we both got 5 plus hour sleep a day and it was good to know at these time we would be getting rest

i know this sound stange but we use to put the hover on as it seemed to stop ds crying so when i needed to do somthing with dd i would just pop the hover on he was quite happy just lying there listening to it while i done what needed to be done it didnt last to long ds was four months when he started going longer with out feed about the same time as he went on to soilds and things got alot better then

your oh may have a short fuse but that dosnt mean you have to do everything let him moan you know he wont hurt the kids so just let him get on with it and he will learn that the more fuss he makes the longer it will take to settle your daughter you are doing really well and threre is no problem with any of you you just need to find a new routeeen once you have done that you will feel lots better and if you dont go and see your gp you may have post natal deppersion and there are thing he can do to help you with that so dont suffer

but it sounds like clasic baby blues to me where you feel tearfull and at odds with yourself it just your hormons setlleling down after the pregancy it should pass in a few days and you will feel alot stronger

the other thing i will say from my expercence ( and this may not be happing to you so please dont take offence) is make sure you and your other daughter still do things together as well i made this mistake and my dd didnt know what to do with herelf i twig on (about two days latter) i made sure things got down with her like drawing a picture together or playing hide and seek ( a bit hard when there two of you to hide )but just small things like that put the smile back on here face and made me feel less guilty about her not having me all to her self like she was use to

it will get better take care of all of you
earwig

Snaggles

My DS used to love the hoover too - I think it mimics the white noise they hear in the womb.

I forgot to say as well, that's a beautiful picture of her....she looks adorable! If I was closer, I would offer to come round and look after them both for you for a bit to let you get some sleep.

earwig

Snaggles wrote:

My DS used to love the hoover too - I think it mimics the white noise they hear in the womb.

is that why. it used to stop my ds from having a hissy fit .it reminded him of his safe bubble