Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

Spendless

Hi IA, you are right 2 kids are more than double the work of 1. Also with the first you can sleep when baby does, that's not possible if you also have a pre-schooler, unless your eldest still has an afternoon nap? For you to all have a lie down. I was lucky that my eldest was a livewire so the youngest was a doodle in comparison. I've always thought it must be a shock to the system to get them the other way round.

Anyway couple of thoughts for you. Talk to your HV about homestart

http://www.home-start.org.uk/

Ste day/s off. I'm guessing he gets 2 a week? On one of the days off ask him if he will do the night feeds, in return he can have a lie-in. If ness you could take the 2 girls out so he gets some sleep the following morning undisturbed, on his other day off reverse roles. This would give you both a lie-in once a week. Are there any family members/friends who could either take your eldest for 1 half day a week, so you could nap when baby does or take both kids so you could get anything done without kids? eg You mentioned a playgroup have you got a friend who would take your eldest for you sometimes, so you and baby have some time together.

Good luck, it does get better, until they learn to talk and answer you back that is

immoral_angeluk

Last night was a bit of a funny one as after our chat yesterday Steve was really sweet and sent me up for a bath and told me to go to bed at 9pm so I could catch up with much needed sleep and he's sort everything else (He even made dinner. ).

Annoyingly I couldn't sleep! :mad: My brain wouldn't switch off and after an hour I hear Kaitlyn crying and then Steve losing his rag again because he couldn't find her dummy so that ruined any chance of getting to sleep I had as even after he found it I was upset and stressing about them. They eventually came to bed about 11.30 and K woke at 3 for a bottle which I got up for. Then she woke again at 5.30ish for a bottle and Steve got up with her but was very good and kept himself calm which I was really relieved at. I could tell he was relieved to as first thing he said to me this morning before he went to work was 'I didn't get angry!' lol.

Hope tonight's calmer too.

Had the letter saying our child benefit's been sorted and as of next week our child benefit is now going to be £116.60 every 4 weeks. That'll go nicely towards the debt fund! We're going to have a nice chunk to go towards the next debt (dorothy perkins) at this rate! Here's how it's looking at the moment..

Currently in debt account £222.35
currently Transferring from Paypal £228.52
Child benefit (tues) £116.60
Tax credits (weds) £82.43
In moneybookers waiting to be transferred (bingomania win) £22ish

= £671.90 - £464.11 (citi if paid on weds.) = £207.79 to go towards dorothy perkins!! :T :beer: :j

Dorothy perkins is currently £480.74 - the most recent payment so will be roughly around £470... meaning that we'll only have to find £262.21 to be able to pay it off! Easy peasy! We'll be able to save £99 from the saved council tax money, and 2 weeks worth of tax credits will pay the rest so we'll be able to have it totally paid off by the middle of march and start saving towards the next one. :T

Now we just need the money to clear so we can pay citi. Paypal normally takes 5 days so expecting it to go in tuesday, so if it does we can go into town tuesday and physically move the money over from our main bank to the debt account and be able to pay off citi then! Apparently there's a £3 admin charge to pay citi over the phone :mad: but it's worth it just to get it rid of! Can't wait!

Oh the DCA that capital one passed Ste's debt on to finally got in touch (only after about 3 months of waiting.. ) but they haven't said anything in the letter apart from that they're now dealing with it and to continue paying as normal... but we aren't paying anything to anyone for it so not sure what's going on there.. . Going to send them the usual 'I do not ackowledge the debt yadda yadda' letter to them anyway. The debt is apparently £517 even though capital one said it was £580? Weird but either way we'll deal with it. We're doing so well anyway this is only a small problem compared to if we would've had this back before our LBM.:T



Oh and pssst... Steve's booked his driving test.. but he doesn't want me to tell anyone when it is... but it's not far away.. sssshhhh don't tell him I told...

Bunnyinthelights

IA,
The first 10 weeks after my second were the longest in my life...BUT, know that IT will pass and you WILL get thru it, honest.
I will now be an interferring old mum and give you a few suggestions-please feel free to completley dismiss them or tell me to shut up.
1) take any help offered from anywhere
2) get 'The Contented Baby Book' by Gina Ford-she made my life SO much easier-she seems like a hard nosed cow at first but if you follow the suggested routine, it will help. Both of my children slept thru from 10 weeks 7-7 and still do-it is only because of her!!!!
3)SLEEP for goodness sake when they both are! (get OFF the computer!)
4) speak to your doctor/health visitor-I ended up with PND after my daughter but was too ashammed to get help-it may be something or nothing
5)Get out of the house! I literally went stir crazy-even if it's a walk. Did you manage to ask for a double buggy on Freeecycle?
6) Stop beating yourself up! For goodness sakes, you've just had a baby

Finally, please feel free to PM me if you want to ask me any questions.
You are a wonderful, competent mother.
Bunny x

immoral_angeluk

The money from moneybookers is on it's way! Woohoo! £23.11 should go in the next few days for doing absolutely nothing expect playing a bit of free bingo!
THANK YOU SOUTHERNSCOUSER!!

patentgirl

Hi I agree with everyones advice you are beating yourself up here you have got two beautiful daughters (love the pic) you life is not going to be the same ever again but for the better, routines take time and no two babies are the same just remember what you are going through somebody else has already gone through it (including me) try to get as much rest as possible easier said then done I know! but you will get there I know you will.

immoral_angeluk

Argh! Why is it when things start looking up something comes and gives you a swift kick up the rectum.. my boss just called. We're not getting paid til the 10th because she hasn't got enough money to pay us! Looks like she's having serious financial troubles with the business so maybe it's a good job I'm not planning on going back. Speaking of that she did ask when I was due back (isn't she supposed to know that???) and I just said from what I worked out it was the 7th May but I was having trouble finding childcare and would have to let her know for definate at some point as if I couldn't sort something I wouldn't be able to go back. She made no attempt to try and help or even try and convince me to stay so it's clear that I'm actually doing her a favour.. especially as she even said that there's another girl due back from maternity leave at the same time as me and she doesn't have the hours she wants to work.
My boss is seriously digging herself into a massive pit which I'm best of out of by the looks of it!

It's just a good job that Steve's pay this month is going to be normal and it'll be next month they take the paternity leave off so at least we won't be struggling the start of this month. Lets just hope my boss can afford to pay us next month... :eek:

Spendless

I hope so too. Is your boss allowed to keep your SMP and not pay it . Perhaps you need to ask on the benefits board of any steps you can take *if* something goes wrong next month.

Fingers crossed.

immoral_angeluk

Last night was great, no arguments, no stress or anything! I stayed up to give K her last bottle while Ste went to bed about 11.30. K and I went to bed about 12.30 and she slept right through til 5! AND Steve got up, fed her, and did her nappy without even losing his temper one bit. She wouldn't settle so Steve just brought her into bed with us and she drifted off half an hour or so later but he didn't even get slightly annoyed!!! I'm so proud of him! I'm still tired but feel so much happier today. I think the combination of tension and lack of sleep made for a lethal combination so fingers crossed it stays this way and Kaitlyn continues to sleep longer at night!

Oh had Ashli's yearly child trust fund statement through this morning and it's gone up £112 since last year and is now £1289. Not bad for 2 years! (That's not all money gained by the investment though, in the first year we added about £800, £100 from us and £700 inheritance from when my mum died.).
Don't know whether a £112 gain in a year is good or bad but I'm not complaining!

Snaggles

Good morning Immoral, I'm glad to hear you have had a better night, and that Steve is coping better too. Tired but happy, you can cope with....tired and stressed is an absolute killer!

I'm working tonight until 10pm.....grrr...but I'm consoling myself with the fact that I only have 4 more Saturday night shifts to do until maternity leave!

I'm so impressed that even with all the tiredness and stress you have felt over the last few days, you are still on top of your finances, you really are doing brilliantly. Even the big-posh-tv fund is coming on nicely!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that Kaitlyn sleeps well tonight. Natasha woke me up 3 times last night kicking my bladder....which I'm taking as an early warning of her sleep patterns lol.......so I'm relying on you to give me a stern talking to in about 4 months time, when I'm feeling exactly how you have been feeling!

It might be worth speaking to the CAB or someone (or is it ACAS who deal with employment law etc) to see what your rights are if your boss isn't able to pay you. Hope you manage to get it sorted, you could do without the extra hassle and worry at the moment.

Take care and have a nice weekend xx

immoral_angeluk

Snaggles wrote:

Good morning Immoral, I'm glad to hear you have had a better night, and that Steve is coping better too. Tired but happy, you can cope with....tired and stressed is an absolute killer!

I'm working tonight until 10pm.....grrr...but I'm consoling myself with the fact that I only have 4 more Saturday night shifts to do until maternity leave!

I'm so impressed that even with all the tiredness and stress you have felt over the last few days, you are still on top of your finances, you really are doing brilliantly. Even the big-posh-tv fund is coming on nicely!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that Kaitlyn sleeps well tonight. Natasha woke me up 3 times last night kicking my bladder....which I'm taking as an early warning of her sleep patterns lol.......so I'm relying on you to give me a stern talking to in about 4 months time, when I'm feeling exactly how you have been feeling!

It might be worth speaking to the CAB or someone (or is it ACAS who deal with employment law etc) to see what your rights are if your boss isn't able to pay you. Hope you manage to get it sorted, you could do without the extra hassle and worry at the moment.

Take care and have a nice weekend xx

When she was inside Kaitlyn used to wake up just as I got into bed.. I remember the bladder kicks and rib punches well... I think they're still bruised! lol!
How far gone will you be when you start your leave? I started mine at 29 weeks and had serious cabin fever by week 30.. lol.