Stopped Paying

DX2

speedster wrote: »

i know, i've got one sat next to me making me type this!! :D:D

:T I'm not saying it doesn't take someone special, it's just that at the end of the day the OP in my opinion is no better than the PWC. If the PWC is as bad as the OP says can you imagine how much she can fill this little girl's head with and he can't set things right because the NRPP has put her foot down now. Wait until the stroppy teens hit and boom.

FBaby

Your story might be totally accurate, but you have to recognised it is highly stereotypical of the 'bad bad' pwc who had an affair, moved miles away, wants the nrp back, gets jealous when she is replaced, and then takes revenge by blocking contact and being an absolute monster whilst poor nrp is heart broken trying so hard to be a perfect dad but thankfully, young daughter who lives with mum but rarely sees dad knows that daddy is an innocent victim and mummy a mean selfish person....mmmmm......

diabolical_2

Errr hello Fbaby my story is totally accurate, im living it.
And DX2 well, im not even reading your replys that start with Bull. You both sound very bitter PWC to me.

Im bowing out of this now, i think iv got a good idea how his ex is going to feel once she realises no cash is going in her account, and if she's the same as most of these replies iv had then she will be fumming mad, which is what im hoping for, and fingers crossed will then agree to compromise with my husband.

Iv also spoken to my husband about the school access, he doesn't think its a good idea as he's worried about causing his daughter some embarrassment at school, but we will find out what we can before deciding what to do.

I know his daughter does want contact with her dad, when she is able to speak she tells him, and also tells him she misses me. I know she is young and wont understand fully but one day maybe she will, who knows. As for now payments are stopping. The ex wont know this though till her next payments due in a few weeks. I know she wont go without because yes we do know her income and outgoings, a mistake she made a while ago leaving some info in her daughters school bag which we saw, yes yes wrong i know but hey it happened.

Thanks for the posters who understand where im coming from, and god help the ex partners of the folk on here who are very angry and bitter.
And one more thing, The csa CANNOT get involved in this as we are in Saudi, plus hubby works for a none EU company, nor can they get involved when we return as long as we resume payments, if they did she would get alot less than he is willing to pay, but again im hoping this will all pan out in a month or 2 when she misses the cash.
Good night.

dizzybuff

diabolical wrote: »

Errr hello Fbaby my story is totally accurate, im living it.
And DX2 well, im not even reading your replys that start with Bull. You both sound very bitter PWC to me.

Im bowing out of this now, i think iv got a good idea how his ex is going to feel once she realises no cash is going in her account, and if she's the same as most of these replies iv had then she will be fumming mad, which is what im hoping for, and fingers crossed will then agree to compromise with my husband.

Iv also spoken to my husband about the school access, he doesn't think its a good idea as he's worried about causing his daughter some embarrassment at school, but we will find out what we can before deciding what to do.

I know his daughter does want contact with her dad, when she is able to speak she tells him, and also tells him she misses me. I know she is young and wont understand fully but one day maybe she will, who knows. As for now payments are stopping. The ex wont know this though till her next payments due in a few weeks. I know she wont go without because yes we do know her income and outgoings, a mistake she made a while ago leaving some info in her daughters school bag which we saw, yes yes wrong i know but hey it happened.

Thanks for the posters who understand where im coming from, and god help the ex partners of the folk on here who are very angry and bitter.
And one more thing, The csa CANNOT get involved in this as we are in Saudi, plus hubby works for a none EU company, nor can they get involved when we return as long as we resume payments, if they did she would get alot less than he is willing to pay, but again im hoping this will all pan out in a month or 2 when she misses the cash.
Good night.

Yes that will all work out and all be fandabidozi in the end. Shame on you ... Regardless of what either of you think of your hubby ex , its not the exs money you are stopping. Yes she might miss it , she might not buy those shoes your sds needs that month , she might have to tell your step ds that she cant do certain activities a month. But you know her income , well woopdi do .

Regardless of wether the CSA can contact you or not , you chose to go and work in Saudi , you chose to move somewhere where access may be difficult, its not as if mum can put step ds on a bus to come and see you is it .

A 9 year old is not only having a surge of hormones , looking at doing her sats , forging relationships with freinds , shes missing her father and regardless of what the ex is telling her , coming to her own conclusions about you and her father. She will love you all unconditionally , but this WILL come back and bite you on the BUM.

Money isnt anything to the SDS , but it is to the ex, and you know what she might just suprise you and say well !!!! them , theyve stopped the money , no more contact EVER . TBH I wouldnt blame her.

Regardless of who is right or wrong , its not about YOU or YOUR HUBBY or even the MOTHER .

You really dont get it do you. I'm sorry if you dont like what i've posted , but I was once the step DS and have a step mum who was just like you . Untill She saw sense , thank god.

Kimitatsu

Im so fed up this is all i can think of doing to try and make his ex grow up and start acting like an adult and get over her issues.

I wish you luck with that one! Ten years on and I still have a PWC that hasnt done that and is still bitter and venemous - and yes it is frustrating and heartbreaking, but this is why I said you need to rise above it for your own sanity and that of his daughter. My step children are now 17 and 16 and like many many people on here we have been through contact orders, I cant tell you how much we have spent but the judge tore her off a strip last time, we have had calls barred etc etc. All I can say is try to keep in touch - even if it is via friends and family sometimes acting as the post because your daughter will realise what the issue is!

FBaby wrote: »

Your story might be totally accurate, but you have to recognised it is highly stereotypical of the 'bad bad' pwc who had an affair, moved miles away, wants the nrp back, gets jealous when she is replaced, and then takes revenge by blocking contact and being an absolute monster whilst poor nrp is heart broken trying so hard to be a perfect dad but thankfully, young daughter who lives with mum but rarely sees dad knows that daddy is an innocent victim and mummy a mean selfish person....mmmmm......

FBaby - thats is unfair :mad: there is no need for that comment, as I have said there are many of us on here who are living/have lived through just this scenario, and the sheer frustration and inadequacies of the system push you into courses you would not otherwiswe consider.

Iv also spoken to my husband about the school access, he doesn't think its a good idea as he's worried about causing his daughter some embarrassment at school, but we will find out what we can before deciding what to do.

Your daughter need not know about him contacting the school, I know when we had to go down this route the schools were very discreet and are used to dealing with issues such as this, so will just send you the reports etc and you will have access to her teacher.

Good luck :T

Loopy_Girl

It's a real shame the OP can't see it's actually nothing to do with the money...and more to do with the damage the action will do

DX2

diabolical wrote: »

And DX2 well, im not even reading your replys that start with Bull. You both sound very bitter PWC to me.

Of course you're going to ignore me, of course you are think I'm bitter but I can tell you something lady the posts on this thread are going to be nothing when the child makes her mind up about "daddy" and "step mummy". You don't like the truth

Loopy_Girl

diabolical wrote: »

Just a few more details.
Husband and his ex split when little one was 2 yrs old. She left him for another man, moved from the north down south over 300 miles away. Husband and i met, her and her new partner split, she wanted my now husband back, was told where to go. Jealosy set in, she stopped all contact. We went to court, won access, she denied it, court again, denied again. and again and again, thousands spent on lawyers and in courts but she would just not comply.

Interesting that you mention she moved 300 miles away but then he thinks it's okay to move thousands and thousands of miles away. There are men on here that have lived on beans for a month or been in and out of court to see their kid and good on them.

Yet you both live thousands of miles away and think you can have a relationship with the child -what kind of relationship exactly?
What parent does that? Poor kid probably feels she has been ditched in favour of Cruella.

Also interesting your paragraph on CSA and REMO - fairly done your research there eh? Clever you and him choosing a country out of the remit.

And FYI...if this all blows up in your face and the PWC (wrongly) decides to stop all contact ever, there will only be one person your husband will blame and that will be you.

You think she is playing God with contact and yet you are doing the same - and it comes across in your posts that you think you are better than him!! It also comes across in your posts btw that you resent the little girl - maybe her Mother has picked up on that hence the sporadic contact.

No one is saying what the PWC is doing is right - it's wholly wrong - but you pair are just as bad. You for your games and him for choosing a new life with the new bird over staying in the country and making sure he has a close relationship with his daughter - she should be the No1 female in his life (should but...)

Loopy_Girl

diabolical wrote: »

no cash is going in her account, and if she's the same as most of these replies iv had then she will be fumming mad, which is what im hoping for, and fingers crossed will then agree to compromise with my husband.

And if not? What next in the big manipulation plan?

speedster

FBaby wrote: »

Your story might be totally accurate, but you have to recognised it is highly stereotypical of the 'bad bad' pwc who had an affair, moved miles away, wants the nrp back, gets jealous when she is replaced, and then takes revenge by blocking contact and being an absolute monster whilst poor nrp is heart broken trying so hard to be a perfect dad but thankfully, young daughter who lives with mum but rarely sees dad knows that daddy is an innocent victim and mummy a mean selfish person....mmmmm......

unfortunately, stereotypes arise when an alarming pattern starts to form that cant be put down to coincidence, so yes, that is a quite "stereotypical" statement. which equates to a regular occurrence. (backed up by hundreds of thousands of CO apps. the vast majority don't take court as a first step, it's a last resort when there is no reasoning with the PWC)

and as the PWC always holds all the cards, unfortunatley it's a big "coincidence" that they use the child/ren as weapons in their sick little games.

if PWC don't want to be stereotyped, then they should stop using the children as weapons.

simplezzzzzz