Is it the end, or just the beginning.....?

Karmacat

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

I really wish you lots of fun going forward, my own life needs a lift in that direction but sadly its been so long I kind of wonder what I enjoy, what I want to do etc etc so I need to do some brain storming in the area any tips gratefully received....

I wonder about that - not about what I'd enjoy, but getting used to spending money again :o:o

Keeping_Motivated

macgirl wrote: »

Aww, that's sad KM, you're so good at giving advice and support why don't you expand on what you said so we can help you?
Hugs and take care xxx

Oh sorry Mac I made that sound more maudlin (sp) than it actually is Its more about having children and everything being around them for so long that when it comes to having the time and money to do something for myself I'm not sure what to do and also I've let some friendships drift or end and I need to work hard at making more 'real life' connections because as much as I love this site its keeps my safely in my comfort zone and I need to start being more face to face rather than computer to computer :rotfl:

Cheery_Daff

KM, is there some kind of local forum you could meet some people locally through, and then meet up with them in real life? A nice compromise perhaps - you get to start off the friendships in a way you feel comfortable, and then meet some real people? I've met some lovely folk from here and other forums (but then I haven't got children so have plenty of ideas about what to do for myself!) Or how about Christmassy messages to your friends who've drifted? A nice way of starting things up again - and I bet they're thinking the same thing xx

hypno06

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Oh sorry Mac I made that sound more maudlin (sp) than it actually is Its more about having children and everything being around them for so long that when it comes to having the time and money to do something for myself I'm not sure what to do and also I've let some friendships drift or end and I need to work hard at making more 'real life' connections because as much as I love this site its keeps my safely in my comfort zone and I need to start being more face to face rather than computer to computer :rotfl:

Oh my goodness I could have written this myself.

It was the *biggest* realisation after OH left - that I had sort of lost my own identity and I had no idea really who I was or what I wanted to do.

But little by little I am discovering all of that - I used some of Memorygirl's mind mapping techniques to get stuff out of my head onto paper - and from there the ideas started to come together. Just things like going to the football, then expanding that to going to the pub afterwards etc, then having more confidence to talk to others who are there.....it is baby steps but it is making such a difference to my confidence, and therefore my enjoyment in life.

Similarly, with "me" - things like making sure I have my hair cut every 6 weeks, and my eyebrows threaded regularly, are now things that I will do my hardest to keep in my budget. All these things were previously at the bottom of the list, but are now pretty much up there where I would like them to stay as they make me "feel" so much better.

It all costs money - of course it does - but isn't that what I have been working towards in getting debt free? Of course it is. I just need to be sensible, stick to budgets, shop around, get value for money, and appreciate what I have.

It is all a journey - I have a way to go, but I am getting there, and you will too KM. Just don't be afraid to run with it!!

Cheery_Daff

You're right Hypno, about all of those things, but what stood out for me in your post is about spending money having your hair cut/eyebrows threaded etc. This isn't something I've ever spent money on - have cut my own hair for at least a couple of years now - and I throw a razor round my eyebrows occasionally if I can be bothered :rotfl:

However - I'm starting full time work in January, and my salary will more than double, and be FAR more than I've ever earned in my life. I'm already debt free :j :j but have been living on a very low income for a long time, and spending not very much at all on luxuries. I'm really struggling with the concept of having lots of money :rotfl: and don't immediately want to start spending right up to my income level, and trapping myself into *having* to earn that forever, because I don't want to work full time forever.

It's such a balance between only spending what I spend now (and cutting my hair myself etc), and going mad and spending it all... There must be a balance in there somewhere! I guess I need to work out what my priorities are (and I think hair cutting isn't going to be one :rotfl: but weekends away might be! :j Gosh I've missed those )

hypno06

I know what you mean, and I am introducing things one by one. So to start with I made an appointment to have my hair cut and coloured - and have kept up to date with having that done regularly (cut every 6 weeks, colour every 12).

Then once I knew I could "afford" that in my budget without panicking, I looked for somewhere to have my eyebrows done......after a couple of months, I introduced having my legs waxed.....and so on.

I will only introduce the next "me" thing, when I know I can keep them all going without worry or, as you say, feeling compelled to earn so much to keep them going.

And I know which of those things would be the ones to go if money became tight - if essential bills increased and I had to compromise on other stuff, I would, but I reckon I am learning about what is important to me, what is considered a "feel good" thing, and what is considered more of a necessity in order to keep me going!

hypno06

Forgot to mention - went to WW, lost half a lb, so right there where I need to be still.....and remember I am not counting points or anything any more - this is just me, relying on me, listening to my own body and trusting my judgement.....:j

mooomin

Out of interest, what is a good price to pay for getting your eyebrows done? I'm going to get mine done pre-birthday for a wee treat as they are currently very 1987

I normally do them myself but think I would need a strimmer

hypno06

it varies - but I pay £9 to have them threaded. Waxing is often cheaper by a £ or so.....

macgirl

Don't know about the cost of eyebrows F_F - I'm a DIY girl

I agree with the pampering etc. I had my first facial in years the other day and it was AMAZING! I felt 10 years younger and have booked in for Jan.
Hair I used to colour myself, but gave up when I started getting stripes around my head from overlapping the colour So that's every 4-6 weeks (I've obviously got more grey than you Hypno!) and cut every 12 for MSE reasons :money:

KM, glad things aren't so bleak. There's a whole big exciting World out there, but babysteps is the key and one thing/new friend will lead to another. I have lost a few friendships over the years and spent time feeling bad, but that's life I guess. I read an article about life beginning at 50 and 60, so it's never too late. Hope you get your mojo back soon