Please help my Mum! She is burying her head in the sand, HELP!

TAZ

hi blade , been reading this thread with interest and just wondered how things were going

WiseSteward_2

Hi Blade

Glad to read that your mum's financial situation is coming under control.

Creditors have no obligation to suspend interest but it is common practice to do so if a customer can show (from an accurate budget sheet) that their disposable income (that's after paying all essential outgoings) is insufficient to meet contractual or minimum payments under a loan (unsecured) or credit card agreement.

From my professional experience dealing with creditors, I think it is unlikely that LloydsTSB, or many other creditors, will suspend interest if an offer is at least the amount they would normally expect.

The 'pro-rata' method of sharing out the money available between creditors is the fairest but it is not carved in stone, i.e. it is not the only method. If a particular creditor is happy with an existing payment which is less than a pro-rata offer (as with Barclaycard in your mum's case) there is nothing wrong, legally or morally, in using the difference to increase the offer to one or more of the other creditors.

In this situation I would personally, and would advise others to, pay more than the pro-rata offer to a creditor(s) still charging interest. This will clear interest-charging debts more quickly and save money in the long run.

Hope my contribution is helpful.

Very best wishes, Graham B

Blade26

Just spend the last 10 minutes doing a reply, only to press something on my computer that has deleted it all!!! :mad:

Oh well, c'est la vie! Going to keep this reponse much shorter so that if I do mess up again I wont be quite so annoyed woth myself!

Things are going OK for Mum, we are in the process of writing to the creditors again to request that the interest etc is suspended, so will await the outcome of that. I am a firm believer in, if you dont ask you wont get, so there is no harm in sending a letter.

Both myself and my Sister have told out other halfs what has been going on, my bloke was absolutely devastated that I hadnt said anything to him before (note to self: always be honest about everything! ) He has alot of time and love for my Mum as she has been very good to us both in the past, so he was really upset that she had got herself in such a situation, especially as I said that alot of it was to help me and my sister through Uni. He said that we should cancel the new windows that we had ordered for our house, using up one of our ISA accounts, and lend Mum the money, but she wouldnt hear of it. She said that between us we had done more than enough for her, and she wouldn't take any more money from any of us, she is so determined to pay back every penny, and I do mean 100%.

She still hasnt said anything to my Dad, I am going to quit it on this line for the time being, I am accepting that she knows him better than any of us, and that if she feels that she wants to tell him she will do. I hope she does, as it would make things alot easier for all of us, its the last piece of the jigsaw, admitting it all to him. We shall have to see what happens!

Finally, my Grandad had a massive garden which he used as a vegetable patch which he kept meticulous until he died about 5 years ago, its now just a bit of an eyesore. My Gran still lives in the house, and usng the information I have found on here, and my newly discovered green fingers (I love having my own garden!) I am going to make preparations for crops for later on this year but definatley for next year. I am going to treat it like my own, and with my Grans help (shes 80 but fitter than me!) we are going to start growing our own. A bit of moneysaving for all the family!!!

I'll be back...........................

make_life_easier

hi blade i'm new to this forum, but i have been following lots of problems for quite a few months now. I was wondering if your mum has had any replies back from the letters you sent, it's been about 6 weeks since we last heard from you.

Blade26

Thought I would pop along with a bit of an update on the situation with my Mum (bless her!).

Everything is still running smoothly with the arrangements Mum has made with her creditors, I am hopefully going to sit down with her ASAP and find out what the current balances are and make her a chart showing when she will be debt free by, and to give her some incentive to work towards. She is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much happier these days , and wishes that she had had the bottle to admit to her problems rather than hoping that someone stumbled upon them.

Anyway, on the back of this me and my sister are now in the process of trying to help one of our closest friends who has also admitted that she has financial problems, so that is one for the weekend. Might be back on here for some more advice. Already posted on behlaf of my boyfriend who has decided to go back to UNi for a year and needs to borrow some money, so if anyone is interested in passing comment on his plans please go to Credit Card forum.

Thanks ever so much to everyone for all their kind thoughts and words of encouragement it really is quite humbling that there is a big wide world out there full of anonymous faces, who are willign to offer such valuable advice to complete strangers. We are truly blessed to be part of a forum such as this.......turned into a bit of an Oscar speech!!!!

bec28

Hiya Blade, just read all eight pages on your post and have to say what wonderful people you and your sister are not only to help your mum out but also to be now offering help/advice to your friend. Maybe you should set up an advice business!
I am pleased to hear that your mum is happier now she is on top of things and can feel in control again. Must be a relief for the whole family I should imagine.
Anyway just wanted to say that I really admire what you have done for your mum and wish you and your family all the very best for the future.

Blade26

Well it 6 months since me and my sister posted after the shock of discovering the extent of my Mum's secret, how fast has 6 months gone!!

Anyway, in that time, Mum has managed to make significant in road to her debts and has paid off in total just over £3k, which is absolutely fantastic considering the mess she was in only 24 very short weeks ago

So currently her debts now stand at the following:

Barclaycard £6,867.93
Lloyds TSB £3,402.72
Yorkshire Bank £1,921.80
M & S £1,573.12
Frasercard £ 733.29

Abbey (was Citibank but transferred to 0% in sisters name) £929.18

Barclays and M & S have both agreed to suspend any interest payments, which is brilliant. Barclays had already done this but M & S really surprised us. We are going to try and write to the others again and see if they will consider this as 2 other creditors have done so, whats the worst they can say! Lloyds TSB are still charging an astronomical £54 per month interest, Yorkshire Bank £31.46 and Frasercard £16 per month.

We are also going to look at other ways of cuttign the interest incase they say no, such as moving some of it onto my Barclaycard on the 6.9 LOB deal. Not really sure of the logistics at the moment, as I really need to speak to my Mum direct rather than on the phone, going to do this on Sunday so will be sure to post back then.

Also, my other half is giving up work at the end of the month to go back to Uni full time, so I am challenging my Mum to compete with us, we are starting on the Old Style Grocery Challenge with £100 the target for September, including stamp savings towards Xmas dinner. I am also going to see if she wants to join me on my mission of making Xmas pressies, I have a list as long as my arm of waht I want to make, so hoepfully she may want to join in.

I only wish that she was more IT literate, then she might be able to log on here herself, ho hum, Rome wasnt built in a day

rchddap1

Sounds like things are going really well. Congratulations.

Blade26

Its coming up to a year in February since we discovered the extent of Mum's debts and as I said in my last post (about 4 months ago) we are really proud of all she has done... BUT..... despite letters to the other creditors and her proving that she is malking regular payments she has now only got the interest suspended on one, M & S. Barclaycard have started to put interest back on

So the question is has anyone got a letter that I could plagirise appealing to the Companies to suspend interest etc, would including a revised SOA be advisable, though not alot's changed.

I havent got the actual figures in front of me as to what she currently owes, but have introduced her this weekend to the Snowball calculator and she now can see how this method is the best. I think sometimes no matter how may times you try to explain things can get lost in translation, so hopefully she understands now.

If anyone culd help with a model letter I would appreciate it. I am going to have a look on Motley Fool etc in the meantime.

Thanks

Kevicho

I cant help with much advice financially but ask your mum to either check out this thread or print her off a copy, at least then she'll know shes not alone and support is out there