Please help my Mum! She is burying her head in the sand, HELP!

DiggingOut

Way to go, Blade!

Blade26

Well, I am back from my trip to Germany and feel suitably relaxed which is no mean feat considering the last few weeks.

Mum has sent off her letters and I & E to the creditors offering pro-rata payments, the CAB said to just start making the payments at the level that they have calculated is this correct. Am I right in thinking once they have accepted the payment then they are accepting that is what you can afford to pay? Should we subsequently keep writing to them about suspending the interest etc on the cards, or will that happen as a matter of course?

Thanks for now...........

Blade26

Debt_Free_Chick

Hi Blade

Good to see some progress.

CAB should be able to negotiate to get the interest frozen. But there's no harm in writing and asking - sometimes, if you don't ask, you don't get

A word of warning, however .... some the of creditors are likely to issue a Default Notice. Nothing to worry about, although Mum's credit record will be screwed for 6 years.

Blade26

Have just got off the phone with my Mum and she has had a little bit of a breakthrough with my Dad, she hasnt revealed to him yet the full extent of the problem, but she is feeling more confident that things are back in her control, that she is actually now considering it! Amazing turnaround, given the I would rather leave him lines from 2-3 weeks ago.

Anyway, they have also come to an agreement about all the utility bills, Dad was talking to comeone in the local rugby club on Saturday about various bits and bobs and the cost of council tax/water/gas/electricity came up, and it was mentioned that the various utilities are always going up, but yet for pensioners (i.e. Mum) the Government tax you on your pension and still expect you to pay for utilities like a someone who is working. The upshot of it is that Dad thought that Mum's occupational penison (£280) was a wekly amount she received, not monthly, by all accounts he was horrified! I think he made the assumption based on the fact that his occupational pension (also Council) will be this amount per week, when he retires. Anyway, I digress, he asked Mum to tell him how much she pays for the household bills on a monthly basis, which came to £200+, so as a result he has said that he will pay his fair share (half) and will give her an extra £32 per week housekeeping to cover his share of the bills.

I have told Mum to open a bank account with another bank to put this extra money into on a weekly basis, and keep saving it until she has enough to pay one creditor. She can also put the payout from the insurance in there, which should allow her to pay off a couple of the smaller ones sooner rather than later, freeing up the pro-rata payments to chuck at the other debts and hopefully clear them sooner as well.

Things are really looking brighter, its such an immense relief to me, I cant even begin to imagine how my Mum must be feeling.

I am spending the day with her on Saturday so we are going to be pro-active with all the bills and change the phone to the One-Tel offer, look at the gas and electricity etc. She has called Yorkshire Water about the direct debit payments, as they were based on me and my sister being at home, as a result of the household being reduced to 2 people they have reduced the monthly pasyments from £27.00 to £17ish so thats £120 a year saved so far :T

Going to go now and have a scout around on some of the other threads. I have started my money saving with earnest, cleared a drawer in my freezer and made shed loads of chilli/curry/bolagnese so that (a) we dont eat ready meals and (b) I dont have to mess around cooking when I get home from work and cant be bothered! :A

Sofa_Sogood

That's great to read Blade

Looks like there's been a breakdown in communications over the years (it happens a lot in my opinion), but looks like a breakthrough alright!

Don't you just love this site?

r.mac_2

Blade,

great to hear that things are looking up for your mum. Also glad to hear that you have found some personal money saving inspiration on the boards.

Best of luck with it

r.mac

mountainofdebt

Blade

I have been reading your thread and I really take my hat off to you and your sister - I bet your mum is chuffed to bits with the help that you have both given her.

One thing that springs to mind and I don't know if a similar scheme applies in your area but in South Wales the local power supplier operates a scheme where by anyone over 60 can opt to pay a set amount for their electric (and gas I think) which is based on the number of people in the house and the number of bedrooms in the house. They can then use as much electricity as they want

Obviously it would only be worth doing this if the amount used in a quarter was more than 3 x the amount that they would have to pay and the 3 x monthly payment was less than they currently pay.

sleepless_saver

That's Powergen Staywarm, contact details below. If you phone them they will give you a quote. They don't post their rates on their website any longer. My mum uses it and it saves her £10 or so a month. But it's not cheapest for everyone. Ther's more about it on MSE somewhere.

"0800 1 694 694
Monday - Friday 8am - 7pm
Saturday 9am - 4pm
Before phoning, if possible, please have to hand a copy of your latest electricity and gas bills, and your bank details."

libera

...And they say that young people today are selfish and uncaring. They don't know you two!
I have just joined this wonderful website therefore I have been reading this thread all in one go. I have no good advice about solving the debt side of things. I have not been particularly good with money myself but I thank God that as I approached retirement I managed to finally free myself of the shackles of overspending.
My comment concerns the reluctance or, should I say, terror your mum has about telling your dad. Your mum has been married to him for a long time and she knows him in a way that you two girls do not. Yes, in an ideal world sharing money is the best way to conduct a marriage but at the beginning of their relationship it must have suited your dad to fall into this pattern of handling their finances.
This is not a criticism but it is so easy for some men to live in 'cloud cuckoo land' as far as bills are concerned. I bet you he doesn't even know the cost of a loaf of bread.
Your mum, BLESS HER HEART, tried to please everybody. She wanted you girls to have good things and not to trouble dad. She just didn't have the nerve to communicate to dad how much things cost and we all know how easy it is to 'put it on the card'.
I can understand how hard it is for her to own up to him so may I make a suggestion to you very brave and hard-pressed daughters.
You've come this far; go the extra mile for your mum. Tell dad yourselves. He may bust a gasket but he'll calm down and, who knows, it may be the beginning of a new more open stage in their relationship.

Blade26

Hi to everyone,

Just thought that I would pop on to inform of the latest and get some further advice. As it stands we have sent the pro-rata payment offers to Mum's creditors offering as follows;

Barclaycard £180
TSB £ 81
Yorkshire Bank £ 50
M & S £ 40
Frasercard £ 16

She has today got letters back from Barclaycard and TSB, Barclaycard said that they would be happy for her to remain on the payment plan already set up (£100 per month), no interest etc and that it was up to her whether she wanted to pay the larger sum. Mum has wisely decided to stick with what was recommended by CAB.

TSB however have sent a very nice letter accepting the payment, pointing out that it is above the minimum payment anyway, and that they wont be suspending the interest charges. So my quest for advice today is in relation to this, does anyone think that there is anything to be gained by writing back acknowledging the letter and basically begging for the interest to be frozen. They have acknowledged her difficulty to pay, but in my mind by keeping the interest charges on its not helping anyone....well except the bank.

Any advice, as usual will be gratefully received.

I'm not ignoring people's posts about telling my Dad, he is coming to mine for tea tomorow straight from work - a bit of DIY needs doing! I might plant a few seeds in his mind, perhaps without telling him straight out. Not entirely sure at the moment though, will mull it over a couple of glasses of wine tonight.