Real life MMD: 'Should singles pay more than couples?'

Gareth_Lazelle

My wife has a similar work-related problem,

At her workplace staff buy cakes for other staff members on their birthdays - all very well,

My wife is a coeliac (can't eat gluten) though, so she can't eat anyone else's cakes - should she still be expected to buy everyone else cakes on her birthday? (She simply doesn't participate at all for what it's worth - but the problem also arises at the Xmas party, etc)

Going back to the OT: Personally I think anyone that wants to should opt out with no pressure (whether they be single or a couple), but providing they get back what they put in and are happy to participate then maybe they should simply take it or leave it?

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain

Im in the "it's only 15 quid crowd". As if the couples will get joint pressies (daft idea if they are).

When this circle if friends go out do you split the bill or work out that you had come and didn't share the bottles of wine and knock a quid off your share because you had a soup for starter and not the expensive pate?!

Over the term of a friendship life just evens itself out unless your friends are deviously doing this on purpose!

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain

Gareth_Lazelle wrote: »

My wife is a coeliac (can't eat gluten) though, so she can't eat anyone else's cakes - should she still be expected to buy everyone else cakes on her birthday? (She simply doesn't participate at all for what it's worth - but the problem also arises at the Xmas party, etc)

I know it's OT, but if she hasn't already, it's your wifes responsibility to make sure everyone knows the issue and and advises an alternative "treat" so they can cater for her (if she has and they don't then it doesn't sound like she has very friendly colleagues.)

If she hasn't had that conversation a couple of times (birthdays aren't every week and not unreasonable for people to forget) and just refuses to join in then would say she's alienating herself.

Gareth_Lazelle

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain wrote: »

I know it's OT, but if she hasn't already, it's your wifes responsibility to make sure everyone knows the issue and and advises an alternative "treat" so they can cater for her (if she has and they don't then it doesn't sound like she has very friendly colleagues.)

Oh they know about it - but trust me, buying gluten free isn't cheap, and it isn't easy (labelling isn't as clear as it could be, and you need to know what ingredients to look for as there are a few different ones, some of which hide in plain sight - like the difference between spirit and malt vinegar (so often just labelled "vinegar")),

She thinks it's unreasonable to require everyone spend time and extra money catering for just her fairly complex requirements (especially when everyone else makes do with a cheap and easy box of mixed cakes). The Xmas party is more of an issue because so few restaurants will cater for food allergies, etc (and a mistake knocks her down for a week).

Anyway - more OT than I meant to get... Sorry,

roses

Both parts of the couple are not the friend. If a couple has to pay £30 and you pay £15 but one half of the couple says "I've only met the guy once", then why should they pay a couple fee of £30 instead of £15?

hbk619

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain wrote: »

When this circle if friends go out do you split the bill or work out that you had come and didn't share the bottles of wine and knock a quid off your share because you had a soup for starter and not the expensive pate?!

I do, why should I have to pay more because my mate wants the £15 main and I got the £6 main?

Atm I'm thinking £30 on a birthday????? It's just a birthday! The single should pay £15. Why should they be more out of pocket because they haven't got an other half?

stmartinsdiver

I agree with the suggestion of asking if they meant £15 p.p. It seems to me that too many people are to prepared to accept something they are not happy with and don't say anything for fear of being seen as mean. Bearing in mind that everyone that subscribes to this website to see where and how they can save money - sometimes only very small amounts - then why criticise someone who feels they are paying £15 more than their fair share?

MattLG

The answer is in the email. "per" means divided by, "couple" means 2. £30/2 = £15.

If the person who wrote the email doesn't like that, they should've written the email differently :-)

MattLG

borokat

Looking at it another way, if there are 4 couples and 1 single, 4x30 = £120. So the single will get a gift worth £120. If the single only pays £15, each couple would get 3x30 + 15 = 105.
If they are all going to pay £30 towards his present, he should do the same.

A.Jones

ayayay wrote: »

Of course you should pay £15 since you will only receive one present - they will get two. (Whoever heard of a joint birthday present for couples with birthdays at different times)

Everyone reading this thread. It is what is stated in the dilemma.

What are big joint presents? Is it a big joint present in the sense that they are going to do one or more events/experiences? Or is it buying a present for each member of the group from a joint kitty? I assume the former, since this is both big and joint and the latter is a lot of small presents, although this assumption could be wrong.

Should the single pay half? It depends on the type of event. Is it cheaper (per person) for a couple to participate in the event than it is for a single person? If so, then the single person should pay more than £15. Many events/experiences are cheaper (on a per person basis) for booking a couple than for a single. The person posing the question needs to be more explicit because, as usual, the dilemma is purposely written so that there could be (at least) two sides to the argument depending on how it is read, and important information is missing.

Supposedly this is a group of friends, yet they don't seem to be able to communicate leading to this dilemma. The simple answer is ASK. They are friends, so discuss it. What are the presents likely to be, and what are they going to cost, and when are they going to be? Presumably if they are joint days out, you are going to need to decide on dates, so you should check out that you can attend the events before paying into a kitty.