Real life MMD: 'Should singles pay more than couples?'

full-time-mum

leo2moss wrote: »

In the past I used to give a present each to a couple I knew at Christmas - they only ever gave back one present which was, quite often, worth less than one of the gifts I gave them. I learned the lesson and cut back.

Shouldn't you be giving for pleasure and not just because you want one back.

Having said that, it all depends on the individual situation. If you are rolling in it and they are on the breadline, then what you say is a bit miserly. OTOH, if they are rich and you are on the breadline, then its them that is being mean and cutting back on the value of your gifts to them is reasonable and sensible.

zebbeddee

Why not find a friend to go with and then pay £15 each?

hbk619

BNT wrote: »

Because you are paying for a night out with friends, not just for the food on your plate. Unless there is a fixed price, it is inevitable that some people's meal's will cost more than others. To start allocating the costs according to who had what makes no more sense than giving a discount to the people whose conversation is more entertaining.

I find that these things tend to even out -- people who are not willing to pay an equal share find themselves excluded from future invitations; likewise those who take advantage by ordering way above everyone else.

If they're my friends I shouldn't have to pay for a night out with them. I'm paying the resturant for the food I ate, the company I can have for free whenever I want (i.e. want to come over for a cup of tea?). The going out bit is because I want resturant food, or to play bowling, or to watch a film etc.

Anywho I'd have no money if I started paying £30 for a bday present for all my friends!

Spanielgirly

To be honest, by age 30 I would’ve thought that most people may have stopped buying for friends (and maybe just keep it going for a select few really close ones) By 30 most people have what they need and unless it was for a wedding I would be rather concentrate on my friends kids to buy for.

I think token gifts of wine or a thoughtful present like a homemade hamper or scrapbook as opposed to a £30 pressie would be nicer. In that circle of friends also if you agree £30 in the first place you already know what the value of something is by the time your bday comes around.

If I had 2 bdays coming up I would maybe buy for those 2 people, but I feel 6 is excessive, as its almost like swapping presents (and £90) for the sake of it?? Don’t forget if they hire a hall to celebrate for example the drinks wont be free and that will be another (at least) £20 per couple, not to mention as taxis or babysitters etc!

Use your discretion – if you love the person to bits do it – its it’s a notional thing, then don’t!

fluffnutter

I'm with Spanielgirly. I think it's all a bit bizarre, and faintly co-dependent for an email (fgs) to be sent round to people saying "We're all buying gifts and we're all contributing £30 per couple. Pay up or don't be in our gang".

Why so organised? I wouldn't like to be told what to contribute to a friend's present. If I wanted to get a friend something I'd chose and pay for it myself, not join some weird present-giving syndicate. It feels like giving for giving's sake, quite frankly.

Hastobe_Katt

What's with the 'we're buying presents' crap. A present is a spontaneous gift - not a debt circle.

raddyantic

I think that given its a special one off occassion the big 30 then you should pay the full £30 for sure as the next big birthday is not till you're 40! It's difficult if you're single when it comes to things like this - like for wedding list gifts I have to spend a fortune as a singleton - but i'd much rather pay even in theory if it's unfair as the last thing i'd want anyoone to think was that I was tight - that would be quite distressing.