Real life MMD: 'Should singles pay more than couples?'

persian_star

With regards to the presents, we've just been through something similar for our 30ths, and we've always done it on a per person rather than per couple basis. The only reason you'd ask for £30 per couple is that normally that gets given in one go by one half of the couple, it's horrible trying to get money out of twice as many people! But in the end you basically get back what you put in.

However, it's also been our experience that it's important to communicate - when we go out for meals in a large group for example, we'd normally split to bill as otherwise it can get very complicated, but it's also important to take into account other people's situations. If I drive and my hubby is on antibiotics, why should we pay the same as a couple who were given a lift and chugging wine all night? So we normally round up and down depending on whether you were at the more or less expensive end of the bill so that no one feels hard-done-by, but no one is so petty that they want to pay exactly what they owe. This way, if we're a bit short (which sometimes happens) it gives us the pleasure of being able to be generous too, but without breaking our carefully balanced budget.

shopperjpg

Definitely just pay half. Funnily enough I was just thinking of posting a similar real-life scenario. When I've met up with others in a group on holiday and £20 is suggested for tips, I wondered if couples therefore give £40? I think singles get taken advantage of! :eek:

shopperjpg

bogwart wrote: »

You should pay up. Presumably each couple gets one present so you'll get a present for two.The extra £15 is hardly going to break the bank, I imagine.

Surely, if it's for a 30th birthday present, you get one each? I've never thought of giving a couple a "joint birthday present"!

leo2moss

pensionernige wrote: »

The single should pay half as when it is time to receive then throught the year he will only get one present.

In the past I used to give a present each to a couple I knew at Christmas - they only ever gave back one present which was, quite often, worth less than one of the gifts I gave them. I learned the lesson and cut back.

leo2moss

A.Jones wrote: »

Why should you object to single room supplements? If you as a single have a room that could take two people, why should the hotel lose out by letting you stay? A better system is a rate per room, with breakfast extra. That way, you pay the same amount as a couple would for the same room. They choose to share, whereas you have it all to yourself.

I know that hotels have to make a profit and a "per room" rate would be fairer but would like to mention the following

1. I have been asked to pay a single supplement for a hotel room which had one, single sized bed in it. I kicked up a fuss naturally as how would they have expected to put two people in it?

2. On a more serious note. I travel solo. I don't "have it all to myself" whilst other people "choose" to share. I don't have a partner or husband and my friends are all married and/or with children. I'd love to be able to go on holiday with someone else but don't have that option unless I share with a stranger on a "solos" type holiday (and how many of you in relationships would be happy to do that?) so please don't imagine that it's wonderful to have a room to yourself - it can be wonderful but it can also be very lonely and hotels (in my experience) tend to be more likely to stick you in the worst room in the hotel which, if you're paying for the "privilege" of having a double (or more likely twin) room to yourself is ridiculous!

PhylPho

Ludicrous in this time of recession and austerity for a group of fiscally irresponsible half-wits to go around wasting money like that. Don't they know the state this country's in?

attemptingmoneysaving

Does it really matter? They're friends. And what e-mail going round? I don't get the ethos of this at all. If money is tight for any of the group, their friends should know, and the whole thing should have been rethought. If not, what's 30/15 quid between friends, so long as it's not being wasted on a pointless present.

full-time-mum

Gareth_Lazelle wrote: »

Oh they know about it - but trust me, buying gluten free isn't cheap, and it isn't easy (labelling isn't as clear as it could be, and you need to know what ingredients to look for as there are a few different ones, some of which hide in plain sight - like the difference between spirit and malt vinegar (so often just labelled "vinegar")),

She thinks it's unreasonable to require everyone spend time and extra money catering for just her fairly complex requirements (especially when everyone else makes do with a cheap and easy box of mixed cakes). The Xmas party is more of an issue because so few restaurants will cater for food allergies, etc (and a mistake knocks her down for a week).

Anyway - more OT than I meant to get... Sorry,

I don't eat wheat and my daughter is nut allergic so I sympathise with your wife. We have both come to accept that we are often going to be deprived. It is harder on my DD than me - I'm a grown up after all - especially when the teacher buys a box of sweets to reward the whole class.

I guess, at the end of the day, it depends on how big the group is and how friendly they are. I would probably just buy a box of cheap cakes to keep the peace. If its a small group, it might be worth making a sponge cake with gluten free flour which you can all share, just to show how good gluten free food can be.

I always try and cater for others in such instances - mainly because I understand, but also because I am geared up for it and tend to bake my own.

full-time-mum

elizabethhull wrote: »

When I take cake to a club in celebration of my birthday, I always make it gluten-free, so the one coeliac can enjoy, and NO-ONE ever notices the difference! I've eaten her cakes too & they're lovely, so why can't your wife take in home-made stuff (not that expensive) ?

Regarding the present problem, why don't people ever ASK to clarify the situation? Trust me, lots of people never even notice an inequality until it's pointed out, but are often perfectly agreeable for it to be rectified.

Gareth_Lazelle wrote: »

My wife has a similar work-related problem,

At her workplace staff buy cakes for other staff members on their birthdays - all very well,

My wife is a coeliac (can't eat gluten) though, so she can't eat anyone else's cakes - should she still be expected to buy everyone else cakes on her birthday? (She simply doesn't participate at all for what it's worth - but the problem also arises at the Xmas party, etc)

I think that the point is that, unlike you and me who are prepared to make the effort, her other colleagues don't bother to cater for her.

full-time-mum

Marisco wrote: »

Yes but they are awful and dry!!!! My workmate has the same problem, and we used to get her a bar of Cadbury's chocolate instead:)

My gluten-free cakes are no such thing. Granted, they aren't the same as "normal" cakes but they are as delicious, if a little different in texture.