Right or Wrong

mountainofdebt

We get WTC and CB for Junior, who also gets EMA and hopefully will get a job shortly (he had an interview this week so fingers crossed!)

We also pay for his phone but apart from bits for school we don't pay for anything else.

If he does get this job I wouldn't dream of taking anything from him for board and lodge.

However if it were a 'proper job' then yes I would.

sassy_one

Sorry, and don't shoot me down!

When you have a child, that's your child forever not till there 18 years of age or 16 years old, for life.

I would personally allow my children to live with us for as long a they wanted, board free, within reason, i.e they get there own food etc but the roof and electric free, fancy charging your own kids to stay with you!

What is the world coming too, no wonder the United Kingdom is in such a mess!!!

clairec79

Personally for as long as CB and CTC are in payment for her that is the 'lodge' money paid for her.

I would advise her to save at least 1/3rd of her income though

January20

sassy-one wrote: »

Sorry, and don't shoot me down!

When you have a child, that's your child forever not till there 18 years of age or 16 years old, for life.

I would personally allow my children to live with us for as long a they wanted, board free, within reason, i.e they get there own food etc but the roof and electric free, fancy charging your own kids to stay with you!

What is the world coming too, no wonder the United Kingdom is in such a mess!!!

I wish I could thank you more than once to show how much I agree with you, particularly about the bit I've put in bold. There was an episode of "Grand Designs" 2 or 3 weeks ago, with a lady who appeared Chinese, and that's pretty much what she was saying when questioned about giving so much help to her daughter who was building a house. I agree so much with those values.

I'm starting to understand why the family unit here is not so strong as in other countries. It's really dog eat dog isn't it? Even with one's children. Very sad.

Savvy_Sue

The issue is more about trust and communication between child and pwc though, isn't it? It seems to be a difficult relationship (doesn't want to rock the boat), as they often are at that age, we don't know her mother's view on it all.

January20

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

The issue is more about trust and communication between child and pwc though, isn't it? It seems to be a difficult relationship (doesn't want to rock the boat), as they often are at that age, we don't know her mother's view on it all.

I admit I focused on the question: "would you take board off her" as she appears to be a teenager in full time education for who the pwc receives benefits + CSA payments, so it seems excessive to me to take money from her. She also got herself a part-time job, which is very commendable and mature.

BitterAndTwisted

sassy-one wrote: »

Sorry, and don't shoot me down!

When you have a child, that's your child forever not till they're 18 years of age or 16 years old, for life.

I would personally allow my children to live with us for as long as they wanted, board free, within reason, i.e they get their own food etc but the roof and electric free, fancy charging your own kids to stay with you!

What is the world coming too, no wonder the United Kingdom is in such a mess!!!

I am going to shoot you down, but gently, I hope.

Not all parents everywhere and in every single circumstance can actually afford to have their kids living at home rent or board-free for an unlimited length of time. Mine certainly couldn't when I left full-time education once family allowance and my dependent's tax-free allowance was withdrawn from my father's tax-code even though my mother worked full-time as well. They very generously allowed my to keep all of my first week's wages but thereafter I was expected to hand over one third of my take-home pay in board. At the time my parents needed every single penny coming in to the household. I accept that this was all a very long time ago but am under no illusion that many, many families' financial situations are rather similar now. Having two-thirds of my wages left as disposable income after I'd paid my fares meant that I had more money to myself then than I ever have had since, so it all seemed perfectly fair to me at the time and still seems pretty fair to me now 40 years later.

I had friends who lived at home for quite a long time while earning a full-time wage and who were expected to contribute nothing to their own family's budgets and unfortunately they were often those with a huge sense of entitlement and ended up with rather poor money-management skills. I know who I think was the most fortunate in the long-term.

tiamai_d

As long as the parent (s) are still receiving CB and Tax credits, then I beleive it is wrong to ask for board.

If your child is still living with you while going to college or Uni then again I wouldn't take board (so long as they were genuinely in full time education). Its only once they are out of education (working or other) that I would take board.

I would try and encourage them to save, strongly encourage them. Possibly I would make it a condition of staying in my house, you stay rent free while at 'school' but you have to save some money and use the situation to your advantage my dear offspring.

LilacPixie

Surely child benefit, tax credits and child support are paid to the parent with custody for the childs 'keep'. Fair enough the mum saying well you get EMA plus your little PT wage now so buy your own toiletries or clothes pay for your own hairdresser appointments or something but taking money for board and lodgings i think is just wrong.

Oldernotwiser

sassy-one wrote: »

Sorry, and don't shoot me down!

When you have a child, that's your child forever not till there 18 years of age or 16 years old, for life.

I would personally allow my children to live with us for as long a they wanted, board free, within reason, i.e they get there own food etc but the roof and electric free, fancy charging your own kids to stay with you!

What is the world coming too, no wonder the United Kingdom is in such a mess!!!

For an adult child who is bringing money in I think that your attitude is totally irresponsible and, actually, very modern.

However, I also think it's wrong to take money from a child below 18 in full time education, particularly as the parent will also be receiving some benefit for them.