Why do people think it's necessary to have a big wedding when they cannot afford it?

missknixon

We spent £4k - when my nephew wiped his chocolate covered hands on me I laughed! For us our day was perfect. It was about us, it was about happiness, it was about love! There didn't need to be anything extraordinary because that was not the purpose - the venue commented on how relaxed everything/ everyone was! They had a wedding a few weeks before and they had a live band (we were there for a meal that night) the guests were all on edge - it was the brides £20K day - as she told every single person who entered! Our wedding was about us! We have since received thank you card saying how lovely it all was!

shellsuit

missknixon wrote: »

We spent £4k - when my nephew wiped his chocolate covered hands on me I laughed! For us our day was perfect. It was about us, it was about happiness, it was about love! There didn't need to be anything extraordinary because that was not the purpose - the venue commented on how relaxed everything/ everyone was! They had a wedding a few weeks before and they had a live band (we were there for a meal that night) the guests were all on edge - it was the brides £20K day - as she told every single person who entered! Our wedding was about us! We have since received thank you card saying how lovely it all was!

And that's how it should be!

We spent around the same as you and our guests commented that it was a lovely, relaxing, informal day, which is very good to hear!

Once we'd arrived at the venue after being married, we went around the back for some photos. There were huge hanging baskets that had not long been watered and I only went and dragged my dress right through the water, then posed for pics on grass so my dress was FILTHY!

Like I told people whose faces were like this > :eek:, "I'm married now, the most important part is over so I don't care one little bit about some muck!

If I'd been swanning around in a very expensive dress, I think I would have been on pins all day worrying about it.

There were a couple of things that didn't go to plan, but at the time I really didn't give a shoot and carried on with the day!

missknixon

shellsuit wrote: »

And that's how it should be!

We spent around the same as you and our guests commented that it was a lovely, relaxing, informal day, which is very good to hear!

Once we'd arrived at the venue after being married, we went around the back for some photos. There were huge hanging baskets that had not long been watered and I only went and dragged my dress right through the water, then posed for pics on grass so my dress was FILTHY!

Like I told people whose faces were like this > :eek:, "I'm married now, the most important part is over so I don't care one little bit about some muck!

If I'd been swanning around in a very expensive dress, I think I would have been on pins all day worrying about it.

There were a couple of things that didn't go to plan, but at the time I really didn't give a shoot and carried on with the day!

I walked through the mud in my wedding shoes- to everyone elses horror - I turned and said they were cheap it will be fine! I didn't care that the bottom of my dress got muddy - didn't even care when my dad stood on the back of it coming down the stairs :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:he was horrified - I laughed and relaxed! x

shellsuit

missknixon wrote: »

I walked through the mud in my wedding shoes- to everyone elses horror - I turned and said they were cheap it will be fine! I didn't care that the bottom of my dress got muddy - didn't even care when my dad stood on the back of it coming down the stairs :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:he was horrified - I laughed and relaxed! x

Same here haha, I had mud half way up my heels, but I didn't care!

I think my dress got trod on about 20 times, people were apologising and looking in horror and I just laughed it off! (They probably thought I was gonna deck them :rotfl:)

We're already talking about having a church blessing next year when we have the baby christened so really looking forward to that!

missknixon

My red satin shoes were brown at one point - I dipped them in the stream to get rid of it! OOps! Other people stood on it but they were after the wedding - my dad is not a little man and was before it! x

Lydie

To answer the question - Why do people think it's necessary to have a big wedding when they cannot afford it?-
I would say that sometimes it is a cultural one. I am Zimbabwean and sometimes people in the community can be quite superficial and will gossip if you have a 'cheap' wedding. 'They did not even have a wedding car' - 'the food was just sausage rolls' 'they made their guests pay for our own alcohol'. I suppose to avoid that kind of talk about your wedding people will try and put on a big show even if they have to pay for it for years after.

thebettingbride

Wow I wish I could be that relaxed about my wedding dress! It's not even that I'll have an expensive one, the one I have my heart set on at the moment is only £45. But it is just so gosh darn beautiful and perfect lol I would hate to think of it getting all filthy and ruined. I guess I will probably be a lot more relaxed on the day, I have in fact only just seen this dress today so of course the thought of ruining it is mortifying whilst I'm still in the honeymoon stage

shellsuit

thebettingbride wrote: »

Wow I wish I could be that relaxed about my wedding dress! It's not even that I'll have an expensive one, the one I have my heart set on at the moment is only £45. But it is just so gosh darn beautiful and perfect lol I would hate to think of it getting all filthy and ruined. I guess I will probably be a lot more relaxed on the day, I have in fact only just seen this dress today so of course the thought of ruining it is mortifying whilst I'm still in the honeymoon stage

Oh mine was locked away under key and nobody could look or touch it before I wore it BUT, once we were married, it wasn't important at all. The dress had done its duty, hubby told me I looked stunning when I stood next to him and I had pics took in it ~ I would have quite happily wore a bin bag for the rest of the day after that! :rotfl:

missknixon

thebettingbride wrote: »

Wow I wish I could be that relaxed about my wedding dress! It's not even that I'll have an expensive one, the one I have my heart set on at the moment is only £45. But it is just so gosh darn beautiful and perfect lol I would hate to think of it getting all filthy and ruined. I guess I will probably be a lot more relaxed on the day, I have in fact only just seen this dress today so of course the thought of ruining it is mortifying whilst I'm still in the honeymoon stage

My dad stood on the back of mine as we came down the stairs - I stood and laughed - by that point I was desperate to get married and if I had to do it in my nightie and dressing gown it wouldn't have mattered! Completely different before - my friend too it to alter it and I had nightmares that it was missing! x

loopylass81

I can see why you are annoyed.. We are getting married in April and our budget is 2k however it will probably come in lower thanks to MSE and me hunting around for deals.. Weddings shouldnt have to be the big affairs after all it is about the couple getting married and commiting theirselves to each other..