Why do people think it's necessary to have a big wedding when they cannot afford it?

floss2

SUESMITH wrote: »

feel sorry for the poor people who have made her day so special and then won't get paid - this is totally disgusting in my opinion, if you're a small business just a couple of these could easily push you under and then ruin other brides days who have booked with you.

lets hopw she has a more responsible attitude to marriage cos it sure aint easy at times

TBH, if she goes into it with that attitude to money, I personally don't hold out much hope that it will last the course!

JCS1

The Official Receiver will investigate her if she does go bankrupt. I obviously don't know her full financial affairs, but from the information given I would say that she might be looking at a Bankruptcy Restriction Order (BRO) for incurring credit with no reasonable prospect of repayment and also (maybe) extravegance. A BRO extends the restrictions of bankrupcy for 2-15 years.

I suspect it won't be as straightforward as she imagines.

double_mummy

loling at the earlier comments

i am on mse to try and make the money i am actually a student so am saving whever possible and we are saving over 2 years (getting married oct 2012)

i would rather have saved too much than not enough so i have aimed slightly higher than i think i will actually spend

as i have said before many times i dont think mse is about spending not alot of money to me its about using whatever money you have to get the best value for money that you can get

i no that 20k is alot of money (trust me i know it !!!!) but it is the cheaper option then us going out to the other family and doing it all again there with them


also i have included paying for everybodys flights and accomodation (that are comming from abroad) they also know when we are getting married so they are saving to come over I think realistically it will end up at around the 10K mark which is still alot but as long as i am sensible and adult about it (not that i want to be most of the time) then it will all be worth it

sorry have gone on a bit just felt like i needed to explain myself a bit

thanks for all the positive messages

also i think mse is a bit more than just saving some money its about having friends that you can chat to having friends you can shop with and picking up those little tips from each other that only people who are doing the same thing that you are can give you

this is an online community after all!!!!

Impet_Limpet

It is very nice of you to fly over family for the wedding. The debate over how much that should be spent on a wedding will always be a heated one, but what is important is people get the wedding they are happy with for the budget they can afford, whilst getting the best value possible.

Re OP, I think its very wrong to rack up debts you have no intention of paying off, how can she even speak to (I assume) small suppliers who will go out of their way to make her day special knowing that they won't get paid! How very inconsiderate!

floss2

double_mummy wrote: »

.........sorry have gone on a bit just felt like i needed to explain myself a bit

thanks for all the positive messages

also i think mse is a bit more than just saving some money its about having friends that you can chat to having friends you can shop with and picking up those little tips from each other that only people who are doing the same thing that you are can give you

this is an online community after all!!!!

You didn't need to explain yourself.

We also paid for hotels for our wedding party - our view was they were asked by us to incurr some expense, it was only fair that we pay their hotel bill!

LondonBoy

Isn't the question here really about value for money. We have a budget of £15k and are on course to meet it but i trully believe our wedding is worth 25-30K. This is possible because we are using MSE tips to spot value, get a reduction in price or get extras included for free. Like others i have been to weddings that cost the couples a lot more then ours will but were worth far less.

JanB2010

I am a wedding photographer and I can say that I've seen it all.

I've been to wedding where they've spent £35K+ and weddings that cost less than £2K and I can honestly say that the better ones have been the cheaper ones because the couple have so much LESS stress because they've less financially riding on it.

If you've spent £35K+ then you expect it all to be perfect and run smoothly and get upset at the smallest little thing going wrong (and believe me SOMETHING will always go wrong).

If you've spent a couple of thousand you tend to laugh it off a lot more and be generally more relaxed.

I know this is the most important event, aside from childbirth perhaps, in your life but do you really need to spend £8000 on a dress you can't walk in and will only wear for about 6 hours?

Spend your budget on things that will last - like the rings which you will wear every day. Things that you can take forward with you in your relationship, not things that will last only for the one day.

What do I remember from all the weddings I've done? The speeches - not the content but if they were good or not. Did people laugh? I remember the venue, but never the food and I remember the weather - the one thing that money can't ever control!

maggie111

JanB2010 wrote: »

What do I remember from all the weddings I've done? The speeches - not the content but if they were good or not. Did people laugh? I remember the venue, but never the food and I remember the weather - the one thing that money can't ever control!

I remember if I'm comfortable. For example:

"Fred's wedding? Oh yeah I had to stand up for ages"
"Joe's wedding? The band were so loud it made my ears bleed"

I don't care what the cake, dress etc looks like. As a guest I don't expect to eat amazing food, but I don't want to be hungry. I don't care if you have a band, but a bit of music is nice. I don't care about the table decorations, but I would like a table to sit at. Etc!

I'm always happiest at weddings when I *know* it's a reflection of the couple, not just an off the shelf wedding.

Soubrette

JCS1 wrote: »

The Official Receiver will investigate her if she does go bankrupt. I obviously don't know her full financial affairs, but from the information given I would say that she might be looking at a Bankruptcy Restriction Order (BRO) for incurring credit with no reasonable prospect of repayment and also (maybe) extravegance. A BRO extends the restrictions of bankrupcy for 2-15 years.

I suspect it won't be as straightforward as she imagines.

Exactly!!

I am no expert on bankruptcy but from what I've gleaned here I understand that the OP's friend will have to take some official advice from someone like the CAB about the best route to deal with her problems, she will have to show that her outcomings cannot be met by her incomings. If she has a house and it has equity then she might have problems with that, if she has assets like an expensive car then she may have to get rid of that and buy something cheaper.

If she does in the end go bankrupt then the official receiver will automatically be involved and if it is likely that she has spent money with no intention of paying it back then she may have to wait to be discharged.

If she doesn't have a mortgage then she may be looking at not being able to buy a house for some time.

It's all very easy to blithely state you're going to spend a lot of money and then go bankrupt but as with all our actions, there are consequences and her actions will impact on her future husband also.

frannyann

JanB2010 wrote: »

I am a wedding photographer and I can say that I've seen it all.

I've been to wedding where they've spent £35K+ and weddings that cost less than £2K and I can honestly say that the better ones have been the cheaper ones because the couple have so much LESS stress because they've less financially riding on it.

If you've spent £35K+ then you expect it all to be perfect and run smoothly and get upset at the smallest little thing going wrong (and believe me SOMETHING will always go wrong).

If you've spent a couple of thousand you tend to laugh it off a lot more and be generally more relaxed.

This is soo true, our actual day cost £2k (not including outfits etc), we were so chilled out and laughed all day!