The Ultimate Incentive to get debt free… again. Dinah & NIM go head to head!

Dinah93

It is by no means too late for you to have kids, and if he was deluding himself then you wouldn't have gotten kids with him anyway. And your kids would be absolute stunners with brains to boot, so giving up on them would be a huge loss to the world. x

Swinstie73

Oh Tete, so sorry to hear your news. Don't know what else to say really, it's so sad when relationships end (usually it's me on the receiving end so I know how you feel).

peaceandfreedom

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Remember we had that big talk a few months back about marriage etc? He said of course he wanted it but he now says he was deluding himself and we want different things. Now I wish I'd never brought it up because I'd rather be with him and now I'll probably never have kids anyway! I don't want you to think he's a baddie though, he's done the right thing and I've been on that side of it myself so I totally understand. Just wish it wasn't true.

Awwww, Tete, sorry to hear your news.

But you shouldn't regret bringing it up because at least now you know how things are. No point in finding out years down the line that you want different things.

I don't know how old you are but I imagine it's far too early for you to declare you'll probably never have kids. You never know what's round the corner - lots and lots of good and exciting things I'm sure.

Meanwhile, be kind to yourself while you get over this - you are officially allowed lots of girly treats.

clearmydebts

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Hi all, lovely pic Wendz and congrats on the job Poolie.

I'll tell you my news. Got back from the Lakes yesterday and OH broke up with me. I'm totally heartbroken. He's been feeling not right for a while, and looking back I knew something was wrong really. Stupidly thought he was worried about redundancy. I'm back at my Dad's and it's like the last three years (-12 days) never happened. I can't believe it. Can't believe my future isn't going to have him in it. I just don't know what to do with myself. (oh all those songs make SO much sense now). I'll stop because I'm upsetting myself, but wanted to tell you as you girls actually know a lot more about our relationship than most of my friends.

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better but if you need to vent or rant you know where I am.

You were right to bring up marriage and children because that is what you want. No shame in that whatsoever. And you will get married and have kids. You are still young enough to do that. I just jad my first baby at 33 and I am one of the youngest Mums in my group

xxx

wendz86

So sorry to hear that Tete. It must be horrible for you but the others are right you have plenty of time to find someone else, have kids etc. If he wanted different things then you shouldn't have to settle for that even if you do love him.

Take care of yourself x

Flower08

Tete - So sorry to hear that, i hope your ok. Sending a big hug your way!

LouShoe

Hi Tete,

Just wanted to pop out of lurkdom and say that I was really sorry to hear your news. Please, please remember that however awful you feel now, things ALWAYS get better. I know it probably doesn't feel like that but they most definitely will. I have become a regular reader of your blog and second what Dinah says that you are much too talented and lovely to not pass that onto children one day. You are only 28 (I think?) and that gives you plenty of time to recover and re-evaluate. In the meantime, please look after yourself and do only what feels right for you in these coming weeks.

Loux

Tete_en_l'Air

Thanks for all your kind words. I'll be 29 in Feb, was single for four years before I met OH at 26, and I was worried THEN I'd never find a nice man. I thought he was my happy ending after a very difficult few years on all fronts but I guess not. I'm thinking of a trip to see my friend in Dublin next month. I tell you what, it's amazing how slowly the weekends go when all you want to do is get stuck into work to tak our mind off things

Lara44

Tete HUGE ((((hugs)))) that must have been a real shock. I agree with everyone here that you were still right to have the 'big talk'. It's so important to want to have a similar kind of future. I can't believe you think you're not going to have kids because you're 28 and single!!! For goodness sake you're still young (and I have to say that because I'm 28 too ).

I always look forward to your posts here and think you're intelligent, kind, interesting, and talented. FWIW I think you're wasted on your current job - get yourself out to Barcelona! I'd be there in a shot if I had your skills, and it's a lot closer to family than Oz. How about changing it up a bit? If you ever fancy a weekend in London we would love to have you come and stay. Hope you're going to organise some treats to keep yourself going. Keep in touch with us all here xx

debtbegone

Hello everyone! Popping out of lurkdom

Just wanted to send virtual hugs Tete - A few months ago I was in the same position as yourself, it totally came out of the blue. I'd been with my oh for a couple of weeks short of 6 years, we were renovating a house which was nearly ready to move into (and a classic car, hello debt!)

I'm still feeling like you are now, I just can't imagine my life without him in it! Nor the not living in the house or driving the car

I'll get back to lurking now