seperating.. help i dont know what to do

vaio

jammy_dodger wrote: »

my DD is studying over 400 miles away and we keep in touch via phone email text etc , we live in a rural area and she would not here informatin from home, or friends one thing having no neighbours i guess ..thanks

That may well be the case but I’d still tell her face to face and as soon as things are decided

Bloomin_Freezing2

So sorry for you to be going through this. My parents separated just before their 25th wedding anniversary, and it was awful.

It must be ever so hard for you to be strong for the kids.

I don't really have any advice but just wanted to send you a hug, and it will get better. Personally though, as you have a child at home with you still it should be your hsband that leaves. It wouldn't be fair to have the upset of a move on top of this for your son.

One thing for anyone who doesn't realise, when parents separate, it does not matter how old the children are (I was 20, and my dads now wife-eurgh, thought I was old enough to not care and many a time were my feelings never taken into account), it's still a terrible experience. You don't always know where your loyalties lie (although my dad cheated so mine were with my mum). Your children are old enough to have opinions and questions, which they may want answering. It'll b tough but they will be there for you. x

lynnemcf

didnt want to read and run ... my thoughts are with you. I do think that you should tell DD, I would have wanted to know however far away I was

zzzLazyDaisy

lynnemcf wrote: »

didnt want to read and run ... my thoughts are with you. I do think that you should tell DD, I would have wanted to know however far away I was

I agree with this, with sites like facebook the world is now a very small place, and this sort of thing can get round quickly. But even if she doesn't hear it from someone else, she will want to know, and may feel incredibly hurt that you kept it from her. Also, your son is going to be upset, and chances are he will want to talk to his big sis about it. Telling him to keep it a secret may make things worse.

If she was coming home next weekend, it would be worth waiting, but what if she doesn't come home until the christmas vacation?

It is hard, because telling people makes it real.

Sending you hugs xxx

MrsTinks

Can I also recommend that you and your husband sit your son down and tell him together... You need to present a calm unified front and tell him the truth. As a child of divorced parents I can promise you that any lies you tell no matter hwo honourable your intentions will be found out eventually and your son will be angry about it. If your husband is leaving you for someone else, let HIM tell your son that, but after you have told him that for a while now you haven't really loved each other...
It's not going to be easy to explain it to your kids, but it has to be done, sooner rather than later.