Right This Is My Story

Caroline_a

Unfortunately, although we would all walk on red hot coals for our children, there comes a time when we have to do stuff just for ourselves. I understand that moving will involve upheaval, and there will be issues when the house is sold, etc, and repercussions for your daughter and her family, but.... they have have a home, the other side of the world. You now have you think just of you, because although we can all offer hugs and words of help here, the bottom line is that it's your 'roof over your head', and you are the only one who can do anything about it.

I fear, as others have said you will need to move out, find somewhere unconnected with any family or friends, and make your new house your home. None of us are getting any younger, and it's simply a waste of your time, effort and stress to try to save this house for either your daughter or her children. I know you won't want to hear this either but why didn't you just go to Australia with them? that would have saved all this pain, everyone would have had a little extra cash, and you wouldnt have been left as caretaker to all this mess.

Take care, x

tbs624

Nancy - best suggestion is that you stop faffing around on here and get an urgent fixed fee appointment with a legal professional, as previously suggested.

Your sig indicates that you have personally gone via the BR route - that and arguments about rent arrears are not going to make you a good potential T in the eyes of other LLs.

If you are absolutely certain that, since your daughter and 1st SiL bought the property, you have never been given the info that I mentioned in my previous post then that may bide you some extra time.

As an outsider, from what you have posted in the thread it does not look to me as though your predicament is entirely down to your former SiL - your daughter's failure to pass on your rent payments and her disappearing act with new hubby don't align with the actions of a caring daughter.

Get support from your GP with your depression/feelings of wanting to "end it all" and seek prompt legal advice.

Jowo_2

I have to say I'm surprised that under the terms of the divorce your daughter wasn't permitted to live in the property until the youngest child turned 18 and that she ended up owing him a settlement instead of the other way round. Were there any requirements for him to pay child support?

If we strip away the painful relationship and financial issues, this is looking more and more to me like a conventional eviction process if the daughter is a tenant at the property, not co-owner, and has abandoned the property, too, as well as owing rent, which is impacting you since you are potentially losing your home.

Do start looking out for yourself now and take care.

Do speak to Shelter and CAB or Age UK about your housing options, including how the local council should treat a homelessness application from you, your housing rights and any potential benefit entitlements, as well as getting an expert legal opinion rather than informal forum opinions.

You can check your entitlements online at the Turn2us online benefit calculator.

Consider applying to local housing associations, too.

AllNancy

Caroline_a wrote: »

Unfortunately, although we would all walk on red hot coals for our children, there comes a time when we have to do stuff just for ourselves. I understand that moving will involve upheaval, and there will be issues when the house is sold, etc, and repercussions for your daughter and her family, but.... they have have a home, the other side of the world. You now have you think just of you, because although we can all offer hugs and words of help here, the bottom line is that it's your 'roof over your head', and you are the only one who can do anything about it.

I fear, as others have said you will need to move out, find somewhere unconnected with any family or friends, and make your new house your home. None of us are getting any younger, and it's simply a waste of your time, effort and stress to try to save this house for either your daughter or her children. I know you won't want to hear this either but why didn't you just go to Australia with them? that would have saved all this pain, everyone would have had a little extra cash, and you wouldnt have been left as caretaker to all this mess.

Take care, x

How did you get so wise? You are of course right and there hangs another tale. To go you have to be sponsored. My SIL was given a temporary visa mainly because he was the first Brit they had employed so didn't know quite what they were doing. He is now waiting for a permanent visa which should happen in a few months.

I also have a dog. He is 10 and half and beautiful in every way. I just cannot leave him . It will cost approx. £2000 to get him out there. Finally I'm not sure I want to go. I love this country despite the mess it's in and I would homesick for the country lanes and the autumn leaves and everything that is England.

If my daughter said right here's your ticket and we've organised the dog then I might consider it just for an end to this nightmare but otherwise I just don't know. Maybe it's something to do with my comfort zone ........not much at present though lol


Nancy

Caroline_a

Absolutely understand about the dog - you'll see mine in my little pic! However, you may find that he's a bit of a problem when you come to renting somewhere else - a great many landlords say 'no dogs'. Also understand that about England too - rainy, cold, and great to go on holiday to places hot and exotic... but nowhere quite like home! However, now you have, as I said before, to be selfish. Speak to a solicitor, try to stand back from the situation as if it was a friend of yours and not you, and do what is best for YOU, not your daughter, son-in-law, or grandchildren.

As a matter of interest - has your daughter offered any help/suggestions?

x

AllNancy

Caroline_a wrote: »

Absolutely understand about the dog - you'll see mine in my little pic! However, you may find that he's a bit of a problem when you come to renting somewhere else - a great many landlords say 'no dogs'. Also understand that about England too - rainy, cold, and great to go on holiday to places hot and exotic... but nowhere quite like home! However, now you have, as I said before, to be selfish. Speak to a solicitor, try to stand back from the situation as if it was a friend of yours and not you, and do what is best for YOU, not your daughter, son-in-law, or grandchildren.

As a matter of interest - has your daughter offered any help/suggestions?

x

At the moment I'd rather not go there, maybe later when I've had a long talk with her.


Moll

Brb

It would be interesting to know if SIL served the appropriate notices when there is a change of LL. Section 3 I believe ? (sorry Nancy this probably means nothing to you but just probing the minds of jowo and tbs).

AllNancy

Jowo wrote: »

I have to say I'm surprised that under the terms of the divorce your daughter wasn't permitted to live in the property until the youngest child turned 18 and that she ended up owing him a settlement instead of the other way round. Were there any requirements for him to pay child support?

She was divorced in 2004 and the court case was 2008. By this time she had moved and was remarried. In 2004 he agreed to £12K but with solictors and further court battles and refusing the sign the papers for his money thinking that would hold up the divorce, it went. I thought the whole outcome was extremely unfair and she did ask the barrister if she was working for her or HIM! She was dreadful.

If we strip away the painful relationship and financial issues, this is looking more and more to me like a conventional eviction process if the daughter is a tenant at the property, not co-owner, and has abandoned the property, too, as well as owing rent, which is impacting you since you are potentially losing your home.

I am the tenant! She has never lived here.

Do start looking out for yourself now and take care.

Thankyou

Do speak to Shelter and CAB or Age UK about your housing options, including how the local council should treat a homelessness application from you, your housing rights and any potential benefit entitlements, as well as getting an expert legal opinion rather than informal forum opinions.

You can check your entitlements online at the Turn2us online benefit calculator.

Consider applying to local housing associations, too.

Spoken to all of them. When I am homeless the council may then do something. I am not entitled to any benefits. Local Housing Associations come under the umbrella of the Council, any outside that you have to have a link with that area. I taught in another area for ten years, means nothing.

Going to look at a house on Friday.

Nancy

AllNancy

tbs624 wrote: »

Nancy - best suggestion is that you stop faffing around on here and get an urgent fixed fee appointment with a legal professional, as previously suggested.
You're right
Your sig indicates that you have personally gone via the BR route - that and arguments about rent arrears are not going to make you a good potential T in the eyes of other LLs.

If you are absolutely certain that, since your daughter and 1st SiL bought the property, you have never been given the info that I mentioned in my previous post then that may bide you some extra time.

As an outsider, from what you have posted in the thread it does not look to me as though your predicament is entirely down to your former SiL - your daughter's failure to pass on your rent payments and her disappearing act with new hubby don't align with the actions of a caring daughter.

That is unfair. The boys are her life and he had applied for custody. He didn't want them believe me but did it to get back at her. After her last experience in a court she didn't know what would happen and certainly didn't trust the justice system. She was a wreck after it. For three months she barely slept as they went from one meeting to another with him constantly refusing, even though he knew that their lives would be so much better. In the end on advice she sold her car and hired a barrister. The barrister wiped the floor with him as he continually lied. When he lost he then considered an appeal and that's when her barrister suggested she leave as soon as possible. He is like a dog with a bone. He would spend £500 to get back a £100 debt.

Get support from your GP with your depression/feelings of wanting to "end it all" and seek prompt legal advice.

Yes will do.

Nancy

tbs624

Sorry that you felt my comment was unfair Nancy, but could only go on what you had posted up to that point. The problem is that you have the full picture plus the prequel in your head and the rest of us don't.

Hope you manage to get some good professional guidance so that you can move this forward.