Naughty but Nice

towseriv

bella4uk wrote:

Let's face it her husband probablly is doing the same....
I believe given the chance 80% of men would be unfaithful to a certain degree...I would give a higher percentage but don't think I can handle that much abuse first thing in the morning!!!!

Cobblers, may have happened to you but dont taint others you dont know

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi

Just wanted to say well done for expressing your feelings and admitting what you have done. It must have taken guts and although many on here havent liked what you have said...its life and happens every day!

Reading your posts, I would say you lack self-esteem and are at a stage in your life where everything seems boring. I suppose if Im honest...I feel like this sometimes. Im 32 and been married for nearly 13 years and have an 11yr old DD. Everyone needs some level of excitment/drama in their lives and this can be perceived in lots of ways as we are all so unique. I dont think it is much to do with sex but more the way you feel about yourself. Could it be that this new fella gave your more attention than hubby...is he like how your hubby used to be?

The main questions I think that need answering are:

(1)Do you still want to be married-or do you long for freedom?
(2)Do you still love your partner, and if so...in what way?
(3)Do you have insecurities about the way you look, the age you are etc?
(4)Is your sex life boring, or is this really not the issue?

I wish you well.

PP
xx

sarahlouise210

I think its is sad that it has happened...sad you enjoyed it ..and sad that although you say you do not feel guilty you are obviously in turmoil emotionally or you would not ned to post here. NEVER let this happen again. I would not tell your husband as trust will be lost for ever. Are you sure that the bloke at work is being completely honest ???It is unusual for Sieks to have girlfriends "for years" ...they are usually married quite quickly and love grows from there. Is half the attraction that you see him as so innocent and you are his only experience of a woman? You know yourself..kissing leads to more..leads to more. If my husband kissed someone else I would be devastated - kissing is very personal and emotional. You obviously have lost self confidence and enjoy the fact that you can still be found attractive - but dont let a moment of madness ruin your family life. I would apply for a new job asap.

Dazzieboo

Do you value your life ?

Do you value what your children have ?

You have 2 options, continue what you are doing and jeopardise everything or start flirting with your Husband and hold onto everything, that between you, you have gained, including your children.

I knew my Husband had an admirer, she was the Manager of the flats where his Mum lived, she innocently flirted with him day in, day out and when his Mum died she continued doing it, this led to an affair, which then led to him leaving me after I caught them both in bed the night before my 17th Wedding anniversary.

Both of them said "they didn't mean it to happen" and it started off as "innocent flirting", well it is far from innocent now, I am left on my own with 2 children who he hardly ever see their Dad as she is 60 and feels too old to cope with a 8 & 10 yr old.

Think good and proper about what you are doing and if you want to risk everything, there will be no going back if your Husband ever finds out and even if you don't "go any further" do you think he will believe you ??

towseriv

Rachie_B wrote:

pmsl hardly in the same vein as the OP situ ?! fancying someone ,anyone, isnt being unfaithful ,its natural to have these feeling / emotions even when attached .you can look but cant touch type thing

Of course it is the same just because that temtation may not arise is not the point

TNG

towseriv wrote:

Of course it is the same just because that temtation may not arise is not the point

i think Rachie was referring to the famous people bit, which is NOT the same. Me and DW have previously gone through our 'famous people we fancy' lists. If that was people we actually know that we fancy it would be completely different and treading on very thin ice.

Rachie_B

TNG wrote:

i think Rachie was referring to the famous people bit, which is NOT the same. Me and DW have previously gone through our 'famous people we fancy' lists. If that was people we actually know that we fancy it would be completely different and treading on very thin ice.

:beer: yes i was

Jet

OP. I think you are very brave posting this.

I totally understand the "excitement" you feel. It is a lovely feeling to be wanted and to be found attractive by someone you find attractive.

However, I do agree with another poster who mentioned that you may be lacking in self esteem. Why do you think it takes someone else to make you feel like this? Do you not feel special or wanted by your husband?

Perhaps you need to sit down with hubby and talk about ways of making both of you feel special and wanted.

Let this be a warning sign. You can move on from it and you can be strong and not let it happen again, but you do need to look at the root issue of why you felt the need to do it in the first place.

Dammam

towseriv wrote:

Another case of "you will burn in eternal fires with the guilt you will feel" What a load of bull plop. Everyone makes mistakes in life, can anyone here HONESTLY say they have not had a feeling of "what if I were free to be with X, or wow that famus star is really hunky" Same thing really. Can just imagine men everywere leaving thier wives fr lustfull thoughts of madonna or britney (depending on the generation) because f course if they had half a chance they would say "sorry luv, married and only now think of my wife in a sexual way". Load of bull plop, sanctamonious cobblers from people that like others to feel guilty

Firstly, it wasn't a mistake was it? The op certainly doesn't seem to think so, more just a thrill and a bit of harmless fun.
I gave the answer by saying how I, as a man, would react to something like this.But your response is to a totally different situation. If I thought "what if I could rob a bank and have a few million pounds", it wouldn't make me a bankrobber.
The OP doesn't seem particularly perturbed by her actions and that's fine - each to their own. But she IS married and her husband would very likely be extremely hurt if he knew what had happened. If he found out from someone else, would he be inclined to believe his wife when she said "it was only a kiss, nothing happened"? A peck under the mistletoe at the office party is one thing, but this wasn't like that, was it?

"Another case of "you will burn in eternal fires with the guilt you will feel" What a load of bull plop"

You're right, it is. But that's your quote and far removed from my feelings.

Franko43

Kay

its all too easy a trap to fall into. I'm married just over a year myself. We have nights out from work and previous to my relationship I would have flirted with the girls and vice versa, it was good fun at the time but you have to draw a line on it. We were out again Friday night, one of the girls started flirting with me, I had to bit my lip, I called my wife and told her I loved her and I was getting a taxi home right away to be with her. Flirt with your hubby instead, make him feel special. Sometimes my wife comes home tired and bothered after work, whispering a few words to her picks her up no end. She feels tired and ugly after working all day so it doesn't take much to make her feel better about herself again. It can be something really silly - so what as long as you both have a laugh at it. I hope all you MSE experts will forgive me for the following story but me and missus were washing/drying the dishes last night, out of the blue I slapped her on the !!! and said 'You know something babe - your as beautiful as Princess Lia and as smart as Yoda'. Corny, silly - yes but small things like that keep a spark in the relationship.