Naughty but Nice

JWM

Yes, I understand what you mean, but flirting and taking it further (kissing counts as unfaithful for some people) is a very dangerous course of action.

I suppose the point I was trying to make is that for women its never just 'kissing', it means something to us. Don't think its the same for men.

I would say though - have you ever been cheated on? I have and it feels really horrible, and the point a lot of folk were making is that this is serious, especially if your hasband ever finds out.

Not judging you hun, just trying to make you see what you're getting into.

Good luck.

Anniek1969

I can see where you're coming from, we all get bogged down with the normal every day things in life. I've got three kids 13, 11 and 3 and by bedtime I just want to fall into bed and sleep. The kids come first and then your husband and work and housework and paying bills and shopping and there seems to be no time or energy left for anything else. A man comes along and starts looking at you as a woman and none of the above and you suddenly feel like a real woman again.

It's great to have someone look at you as a woman and see the person inside, but your husband probably still does see that woman but life takes over and we don't appreciate what we have. When was the last time you looked at your husband and saw the man you fell in love with instead of Dad, Diy man, worker etc.

It's time to remember why you fell in love with him and try and recapture the intimacy you had before the kids came along. I feed the kids first and then when he comes in we both sit down together and have dinner and we try to make time for just the two of us even if it is only 15 mins at night before bedtime just to talk and be together. You have to keep working at a relationship, it's so easy to feel flattered when someone else pays you some attention but is it worth risking your family for?

Gingham_Ribbon

Not sure why you want opinions on this? Do you want us to say, 'fine, glad you had a good time.'? I doubt anyone will because it's a stupid thing to do when 2 families could get torn apart.

Can't really feel any sympathy either I'm afraid. Sorry. Just don't do it again. It really is that simple.

scoobydo_2

lol you make me laugh "it was just flirting " well as someone who's now been divoced 4 yrs due to some "harmless " work place flirting .My ex husband left me and our two kids for a woman at work . Cause us major problem and two kids who are still not over it all .
You make me very angry that you take it all so lightly . Get out of your school girl mentality and grow up ,you made your choice to be with one person when you got married !!!!

Rachie_B

joanne0620 wrote:

Do you not think that you should be trying to bring some of these feelings and sparkle back into your marriage, and giving your poor husband some attention rather than this other bloke?

Sorry to be harsh but no good ever comes from unfaithfullness (sp?), in my view kissing someone else is as bad as sleeping with them, there are no "levels" of unfaithfullness in my book, it's all wrong.

i agree

its all too easy to get in a rut with your hubby / partner

but you need to "work" at the marriage and put in or you wont get out IYSWIM lol

make time as a couple ,flirt with HIM ,seduce HIM not this other guy!!

if you really love and fancy your husband you wouldnt be doing ANYTHING with this other guy IMO

emma_b_4

i can understand where you are coming from (ducks!!) me and a friend had a bit of a "thing" although was only by text, and just flirty, but that was IMO and maybe some1 else would think it not, it wasnt really really bad but i wouldnt have liked it if my OH had done it, and it all stopped ages ago, but i used to like the attention it gave me and also i suppose i was in a rut.

i stopped the texts, i still see the person in question now and we are good mates, we dont mention "before" and was just silly....
so yes i can understand...........but i stopped it off and gave me OH some attention and remembered all the reasons why i was with him in the first place.....

if you are happy with your OH and love him, stop the flirting and gove him some attention, relight the fires!!
if not, then i think you need to address that before going any further with anything...

xxxx

Rachie_B

flirty texts with your "friend" eh ?!!! lol

i guess "cheating" means different things to different people

for me it doesnt have to be physical! the emotional stuff would be worse IMO ! spending time together ,meeting up ,on the phone etc would hurt more than a drunken 1 night stand IYSWIM

ailuro2

take it as a wake up call that there is some life left in the old dog yet, and use it to get romantic with your husband, not someone else's- and yes, he is somone else's, so I say paws off whether he's married or not.

Besides, if you got together you'd always be wondering who he was texting when he was meant to be with you- once a cheat always a cheat??

pinkpinkfizz

I just wanted to add that you mentioned, very briefly, you've got children. Would you want to look them in the eye and tell them that everything they have that is gone because you were only having fun!

I know I couldn't.

If you relationship with your husband is over, deal with that and then go and have your fun.

just my opinion

Rachie_B

the fact that you "dont feel guilty" speaks voumes IMO and i dont think you can love your husband if you say that .........