MSE Parents Club Part 15

beckyandjack

Also, just wanted to say I do feel lucky that I am able to provide this for him, and I have to say it's mainly down to my parents who encouraged me and made me feel as though I could do anything I wanted too, they supported me through uni a lot and I hope I can do the same for my children.

We waited to make sure we could afford two children at nursery before ttc dd, and I will do the same again, if in a few years I feel I could afford to provide this for another child then I would consider having another, if not then we probably won't have any more children.

And finally this is not a critiscism of what anyone else chooses to do, just what we have chosen for our family.

Buttonmoons

Is that £520 for 10months Becky or per month?

beckyandjack

Each month for 10 months, we get July and august off so I will feel rich!

r.mac_2

aless02 wrote: »

*naive foreigner question* Are the Welsh-language schools still publicly funded then, just generally seen as "better" than the English ones? Why are the English ones so crap?

Just curious!

I hate working because then I don't get time to weigh in on really interesting discussions like this properly.

I can't speak for welsh schools, but there are gaelic medium schools in Scotland. They are state funded. They have an advantage over other schools in terms of having money and resourced thrown at them, so classes are small, teachers are the very best and school facilites and equipment are second to none.

SugarSpun

weezl74 wrote: »

Thank you, those are helpful and interesting thoughts. I think we don't know yet if we do prefer private to Welsh school, it's just that not knowing makes me budget for private as a financial worst-case scenario.

The down-sides of welsh school are mainly that they involve me being able to do two things before fergie is 4, begin to learn and feel confident with welsh myself, and learn to drive (the school is 2 and a half miles away, and me not driving is NOT realistic!) Some of the parents don't speak welsh, but I understand the issue there is that the Welsh-speaking mums can tend to ignore those mums, perhaps seeing them as exploiting welsh school for the wrong reasons (to get the child out of dodgy english speaking school, rather than a belief in keeping Welsh going as an educative language).

The other slight downside I have is that DH is not a linguist, but was made to do Spanish at school, he now finds he cannot replace that with any other new language. This is fine, just not the way his brain works. However, spanish is a romance (ie latin-based) language and therefore is helpful if you do persue medicine/dentistry, as it makes sense of a lot of the latin-based anatomical names.

As I type I realise I have other fears... Ferg was slow to speak, and perhaps I feel tentative about him acquiring mastery in 2 languages still. I have 2 sons and no daughters, and boys tend to struggle more with languages than girls...I also rely on sounding like I know what I'm talking about when in times of stress and needing to advocate for those I love, and I imagine it feeling incredibly stressful trying to assert my needs for the boys in a foreign language (something I know you do, admirably, daily )

Thank you for replying Weezl, I think you're in quite a similar position to me and to many of my friends who have older kids already in the German system.

I like to offer fluffy hugs and so on, but in this case I have wholly unsolicited advicey-type thoughts so I'm going to post them in case they help - I'm not trying to sway your decision so much as try to tell you what people with similar fears/situations are doing and thinking about a similar situation. Feel free to ignore this as any other unsolicited advice

Learning the language well enough to be able to advocate for others/understand responses is extremely daunting, but one of the things I find quite helpful is immersion for me at the same time as I immerse Miss M. We do German outside the home and English inside and when out and about I keep a commentary on what's going on and make it bilingual - Look, there's a man and a lovely dog, und auf Deutsch sagen wir, Da ist das Mann mit einen Schoenes Hund. That way she's familiar with the sounds and the words and knows that there are two languages to speak in. German-language children's programmes also fulfil dual purpose in helping parents to learn the words and familiarising children with a second language. Also, if you were to speak to the Welsh-speaking mums and explain that you're learning in order to support Fergie's own language development because it's important to you they might be more receptive to you. I know that here it's interesting in that the mums at Gymboree who never attempt to speak German are comprehensively ignored by German-speaking mums, but if you make a stab at saying something they'll respond quite positively and sometimes even switch to English if it helps. Being seen to make the effort seems to make the difference.

It is very hard not to be able to be as articulate in German as in a native language, and in serious situations it is seriously problematic. I can deal with most of it by explaining around what I mean in words I am confident with and then asking for feedback along the lines of, Do you see what I mean? a lot. I also take a dictionary to places with me and ensure that the person I'm talking to sees both that I am struggling but am also trying my best, which makes them more receptive to ensuring that I understand. But it is still very hard work and I feel very sad and frustrated at times when I know people don't realise that I'm much more articulate than my non-fluent German implies.

Brain-wise it is easier to learn a second than a third language - for some reason there is rarely L1>L2 interference while L2 often imposes itself on L3. It's actually much easier to learn a third language from a different family from the second because the brain (once it figures out that L3 is not subject to the same rules as L2) stops trying to mash L3 into the L2 pigeonhole. And the earlier language-learning starts the more likely it is that more languages can be incorporated. I know someone who's trying to raise a quadrilingual child (English (desirable/nursery), German (host nation), Italian (father), Polish (mother)), which hurts my brain a bit but the kid seems to be managing ok. He does make grammatical mistakes across the board (mainly confusing grammatical structures from one language to another) but can get his point across. I also don't think learning to speak slowly is necessarily going to be a problem, Fergie's speech seems to be getting better and better.

Language skills seem not to be genetic. Both my parents are resolutely monolingual and my mother is incapable of remembering how to say even thank you or excuse me in German. I speak three languages - two fluently, one competently - and can order food/drinks and follow directions in three more. I'm not meaning to sound braggy, just saying that there's no reason that because your DH has his skills outside the area of language your littlies will too. I also don't mean to minimise your concerns because what you're saying does make sense - I suppose I'm trying to be reassuring based on my experiences. I hope it helps and doesn't come across as me being all bolshy and look-what-I-know

jillie1974

i dont know very much at all about the education system in the UK. getting into Uni here baffles me as in Rep Ireland its done on a points system. although it would prob be complicated to everyone here lol!

You learn Irish from when you start school at 4/5. There are schools where everything is taught in Irish. Irish is also compulsory in secondary school, although if you moved to ireland and are not at a level/never learnt you can be exempt.
i have forgotten practically all my irish, which i am a bit sad about but living in a part of ireland where no-one speaks irish, it was to be expected. i would like Kian to learn Irish...

jillie1974

am getting my brother and his g/friend a digital photo frame. They go to Thailand on Christmas Eve so if not there on time...i can get away with it.

Thanks SS for saying to look on Rep websites...will try pigsback.ie later. get it all delivered to my mum so address not an issue

SugarSpun

Jillie, is there an Irish centre in Manchester? I know some people who did Irish classes at the St Michaels centre in Liverpool so if there's one local to you they might be good people to learn to know (learn to know! sorry, how German of me ).

Also, An bhfuil cead agam dul go dti* an leithreas?!

*no fada, MSE says no.

Also, there's 10% off Butler's chocolates till Friday with a code on pigsback IE, nomnomnom.

Evansangel

Evening everyone

I want to send Lily to private school because i think the schools here are shoddy. But DH said that if she wants to learn she will whether it be at a private or a public school. Im going to encourage her as much as i can, i cant wait for her to be bringing home homework!

I sometimes feel like im pushing her now, (as in people often make me feel bad about it) I am always trying to teach her to stand on her own, or to clap, or to say words. But some people just say "she will learn when she's ready" or "she's only 9 months old she has ages to learn that stuff"

Edit: dont know if anyone is thinking of getting SKYtv but the offer at the moment 'Order before the 17th and you get installed before xmas' is a bit of a lie. Most install dates are booked fully until after xmas now, and have been for weeks.

MadDogWoman_2

EA - babies need to be shown these things to learn and gain confidence to take the first steps.

I practice things with Katie all the time, we are now practicing the sounds letters make as are numbers. I don't sit down with her for a set amount of time, I make it part of our day.

She has letters in the bath, the game is she sticks the letters to the shower screen, I say the sound and she repeats it, everything that can be counted is.