MSE Parents Club Part 15

redmel1621

r.mac - Please accept my apologies..I did indeed mis-read what you meant.

Sami - I agree with you in that if the child does not wish to attend private education despite siblings doing so. However, to send child 1 and then not be able to afford to send subsequent children, would be very unfair imo x


I need to find a lovely scarf and glove set for MIL for christmas:cool:

r.mac_2

redmel1621 wrote: »

r.mac - Please accept my apologies..I did indeed mis-read what you meant.

Sami - I agree with you in that if the child does not wish to attend private education despite siblings doing so. However, to send child 1 and then not be able to afford to send subsequent children, would be very unfair imo x


I need to find a lovely scarf and glove set for MIL for christmas:cool:

No apology needed Mel I was just worried I had really offended you when I really hadn't meant to.

They had a beautiful scarf and hat set in Asda yesterday - creamy grey with some fairisle design and some sparles (but not too many) at the ends. It was veyr soft and I wouldn't mind finding one under my tree.

http://direct.asda.com/george/women-s-clothing/accessories/sets/diamante-fairisle-hat-and-scarf-set/GEM56433,default,pd.html

In previous years I have bought lovely sets from M&S. A bit like this.

http://www.marksandspencer.com/Ombre-Spot-Scarf-Gloves-Wool/dp/B0045FG96U?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_1&sr=1-1&qid=1292416185&pf_rd_r=0TWW4W3MN7YRPTZ1P8RF&pf_rd_m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_i=43190030&pf_rd_p=215570647&pf_rd_s=related-items-3

The M&S £15 leather gloves are also really lovely and I've had a couple of pairs over the years. They wear well and look good. I *think* M&S might have a free del code floating around on the vouchers board. I've just had an email from next offering free delivery until end of friday - if its not generic, you can have my code as I'm not ordering anything.

Hope that helps x

ETA - this is in this weeks mailing http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/discount-voucher-codes#MS10 10% off M&S

SusanC_2

BrunoM wrote: »

So:
* quite a lot of (but by no means all) higher-paid jobs and jobs in certain industries are labelled as degree required (or 'preferred'). By having any degree at all at all, you're opening a door up that is otherwise pretty much closed and that might be advantageous depending on your plans for the future

You are right and if one of my children had a career plan in mind which required "a" degree rather than a specific degree, I would be happy for them to pick whatever degree they felt like. And it may be that it becomes necessary to have a degree to be able to get any decent paying job - both of my proper jobs required me to have a degree even though it was not needed to be able to do them and the jobs had previously been done by people who had left school at 16.

SusanC_2

gill_81uk wrote: »

Re the university discussion, in my 6th form it was expected that everyone would go to university, and I felt I didn't have any choice being academic. However it was not for me and I ended up depressed and dropping out twice (attempted a few different courses!) I then returned home and went back to my Saturday job in a shoe shop....gradually progressing to manager. I don't have any regrets because I believe I wouldn't be the person I am today without going through what I did but I wouldn't want my child to be in that position so I fully intend to make all of his options clear to Thomas.

When I was a student I saw a few people drop out because even though they had the ability, it just wasn't the right thing for them and they were only doing it because of expectations. Schools pressure everyone to apply to university because it makes them look good if all of their sixth form have obtained university places regardless of whether they later drop out. One of my brothers would never have managed university from an academic point of view (and only just scraped through sixth form) but they made him attend all the talks on filling in UCAS forms and student finances because they wanted everyone to apply.

redstararnie76

Hi, this has been a really interesting debate, thank-you everyone.
My own personal views change on a regular basis.
As a result of a very long story (too long to go into now), I went to a small private primary school (which I loved). I was only originally meant to go there for a year, but I got on so well my parents didn't want to take me out. My brother also went there, but didn't get on so well and transferred to a state school after a couple of years. When it came to secondary school, my parents sat me down to explain that they couldn't afford to send me to the private secondary school, and although they believed that if I took the entrance exams I might well get a partial scholarship, it wouldn't be enough to make it affordable. It seemed reasonable, and I got on fine at the local secondary school. By the time my brother came to go to secondary school they had slightly more money, and he was very bright and won a half scholarship to a private school. My parents discussed it at length with me as they didn't want me to feel that they were favouring him, or that it was because he was a boy that he went. It really didn't bother me, and as it turned out, my brother didn't like the school - they pulled him in all directions because he was bright academically and good at sport, and he ended up switching to my school anyway.
As an adult, I really felt that it was the parental support that made the biggest difference in how a child achieves, rather than the school, so I have been fairly anti-private education. However, I worked for a few years, in one of the most expensive private schools and that did open my eyes. The access to world class facilities and opportunities was amazing, and it must make a difference for many children. However, what really seemed to make the difference wasn't so much academic, but the quiet confidence that they instilled in the students. They also taught them how to properly interact with people and as a result they seemed much more mature and confident then many students from the state sector. I don't believe that all children would be happy in that environment, but it did add a 'gloss' that I imagine might well help in certain careers.
I have also recently done a 'mystery shop' for a friend, going around all the local private schools, posing as a potential parent, and some (but not all, one of them was a horribly stereotypical 'boys' own club') of them are fairly impressive. It's been really interesting. All the extracurricular opportunities were amazing, however I think it would be hard if you had to scrape the money together for fees, as I would assume you would constantly be having to weigh up the cost of everything which might be difficult for your child in that environment.
Nowadays I think that if money was no object, I would almost certainly send my children to private school. Before we decided to have another child, we were seriously considering it, but I can't cope with tuition fees on top of F's full-time nursery fees, it's simply not an option now.

SusanC_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Oh and I also meant to say I don't think that sending a child to private school means you *have* to send them all, A friend of mine was the middle of 3 his older brother was in my sister's year and didn't want to go private he came to the state high we went to, my friend went to the private school just as high school and his younger sister went from about age 7 because that was the earliest that particular private school took them.

I think it depends on what the circumstances and reasons for sending them are. Fair enough if it's a case of you think private education would be of particular benefit to one specific child or one child doesn't get on in a particular school or your financial circumstances change but if you did it because you believed private education in general to be better but didn't do it for all of them it wouldn't be very nice for the ones who didn't get it as they would likely feel like they were being treated as second class citizens.

beckyandjack

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Weezl - I don't think she has been around for a little bit but I think its "beckyandJack" that is a dentist that sends her LO to private school maybe her POV would be useful to you but alas I do not know where she be!

i'm still lurking just been having a bit of a downer with family, work blah blah blah, so sick of moaning about it anyway.

I work in community dentistry treating children and adults with special needs, not exactly on a practice dentists salary but I can't complain about it. OH works for just over minimum wage so a bit of a role reversal in our household.

DS has been at full time nursery since he was 18 months old, and we payed roughly 650 a month for this, for school w pay 520 over 10 months but obviously need to cover school holidays, uniform etc so probably about the same monthly cost overall.

We chose private school for him as he is a bit shall we say 'stubborn' is the best way to describe him. He needs a lot of encouragement to do something he's not keen on and in a class of 34 which was the alternative I didn't feel he would get this, in his class of 9 with a teacher and full time TA between them he obviously gets a lot more encouragement.

The other consideration for us was wrap around care, none of the three state schools near us provide before or afterschool care and I wasn't happy with the thought of him going to a childminder, then being taken to school then picked up again then me picking him up. The school he now goes to provides care from 7.30 until 6.30.

So, everyone has different reasons for choosing the schools they do but these were ours.

HTH

aless02

*naive foreigner question* Are the Welsh-language schools still publicly funded then, just generally seen as "better" than the English ones? Why are the English ones so crap?

Just curious!

I hate working because then I don't get time to weigh in on really interesting discussions like this properly.

redstararnie76

Oh, and I meant to add. Regarding university, while I do agree with many of the comments on here, thinking back (a loooong way!) to my uni days, I don't think it's all about the subject.
I got a lot out of going to uni, not just my degree, but the fact that I had proved that I could stick to one indepth subject and see it through for three years, the experience of living with other people (some of whom I didn't get on with, but you have to deal with it anyway), the whole learning to look after myself thing - the independent living, learning to budget (not particularly well, but that's another story) and cook for myself properly. I know that many of these things come anyway when people move out, but often they aren't far from their parents and for me it was a big break (I was 4 hours away from home so I only came back during the holidays). All of those things, as well as the degree itself, make the university experience quite valuable for me.
My parents both went to uni, and I think there was an expectation that I would go, I never really considered not going. My husband was the opposite. His parents didn't go, he wasn't really encouraged at school at all, and he ended up returning to education a few years ago to do a foundation degree at our local college. We would like our children to have the opportunity to go to university. I know my husband will be more disappointed than I will be if they don't go, as he really believes that it's important. I've seen lots of people succeed without going to uni, but I would like them to have a choice.

weezl74

aless02 wrote: »

*naive foreigner question* Are the Welsh-language schools still publicly funded then, just generally seen as "better" than the English ones? Why are the English ones so crap?

Just curious!

I hate working because then I don't get time to weigh in on really interesting discussions like this properly.

yup there are 2 types of state-school in wales, welsh-medium and engish medium. That is to say, every child in Wales will learn both english and welsh, but the language the teachers will speak to the children in etc will always be either english or welsh in all their other lessons, respectively.

They are not always better, but in my area they are, because I live in a part of the city with a very large indian and somali first-language population, so a lot of children arrive at the english-speaking primary schools with very little English language. Thus the teachers need to spend most of their time teaching basic english. Sometimes english speaking children can therefore get less attention.

I didn't mean this is true of all schools in all parts of wales, but in our local area, this is how most parents describe it