MSE Parents Club Part 15

Becles

weezl74 wrote: »

On the radio yesterday there was a discussion about whether parents of babies now should be rethinking their savings strategies in the light of possible future changes to university education.

I wondered what you guys were all thinking of doing, if your children going to uni is something you'd like, that is!

Thanks in advance if anyone is willing to share their thoughts on this.

Josh is 14 so off to uni in 4 years hopefully. We haven't enough savings to support him through it, so I've said he'll either have to go to a uni but live at home, or live in halls but he'll need to get a part time job to supplement his income. Things change in 4 years so we might be able to put more towards it if we get other debts paid off.

The University of Newcastle does biochemistry degrees and they have close links with the Centre for Life where he could do research placements and stuff. He's quite keen on that at the moment.

Don't think my ex will put his hand in his pocket and help, as he's tried umpteen times to get out of paying child maintenance, and he pays less than what the CSA say he should be paying!

Just skim read the rest of today so *hugs* to all xx

SusanC_2

r.mac wrote: »

In answer to weezls question I might be quite controversial here, but I am already expecting LO to go to University a 'achieve' academically. Not in a pushy mother way, but I believe that you are only limited by your own expectations/belief in yourself and I don't ever want my expectations or beliefs to limit her IYSWIM. Obviously I will support her in whatever she chooses to do, regardless of academic achievement, so long as she always does her best.

The thing is lots of people end up going to university purely because it is expected or the done thing rather than because it is something which would be useful to them. My husband went to university without any particular plans. Whilst he is academically able and now has a BSc and an MSc, the kind of jobs his degrees qualify him for would not really be suitable for his personality/temperament and his job does not use or require any degree. For me it is the suitability of doing a degree with relation to longer term aims that is important, not just whether they are able to achieve a certain level academically so I don't expect my children to go to university just because they have the academic ability.

got-it-spend-it

r.mac wrote: »

In answer to Bruno's question, I believe that parental input is the defining difference to childrens performance in school. An interested mum or dad who helps with homework, encourages when things are difficult and praises when things go well is invluable and worth millions more than a dissinterested parent 'paying' for private education....

I really agree with this, and I think the preparation done pre-school, as well as attitudes towards school and teachers is also crucially important in setting children up to fulfil their potential.

r.mac_2

SusanC wrote: »

The thing is lots of people end up going to university purely because it is expected or the done thing rather than because it is something which would be useful to them. My husband went to university without any particular plans. Whilst he is academically able and now has a BSc and an MSc, the kind of jobs his degrees qualify him for would not really be suitable for his personality/temperament and his job does not use or require any degree. For me it is the suitability of doing a degree with relation to longer term aims that is important, not just whether they are able to achieve a certain level academically so I don't expect my children to go to university just because they have the academic ability.

I agree with what you say susan.

Controversially, (AGAIN!!!) I think that uni places need to be less than they are now and there needs to be a shift towards the old style 'proper' degree subjects. Better traineeships/internships and apprenticeships needs to be set up and available to those who wish to learn/study in certain areas. Too many people go to university because they don't know what to do after school and with no idea of how it will help them in the workplace.

I didn't mean that Annabel should go to university because I think she ought to or to study a wishy washy non -subject just for experience (!). I meant that university should never be seen as unattainable and a normal educational transition for those who have the academic ability, want and need to for their future career. IYSWIM A degree doesn't necessarily equal better pay, therefore its not a (sole) reason to gointo further education. (I did tell you it wasn't very well expressed! I'm not sure that I've made it any clearer either!!).

r.mac_2

tia - I think you are a wonderful role model for your children. x

MadDogWoman_2

My parents left the decision up to us at 16 what we wanted to do, neither myself or my brothers attended uni.

Instead I went on a Youth Training Scheme as that better suited the path I wanted - Administration.

If Katie wants to go to Uni she can, but I also agree in not to study a non-subject, but if she doesn't want uni, I would like for her to do an apprenticeship/vocational training.

Sami_Bee

r.mac wrote: »

...
That said, I hope to be one of those interested and supportive and helpful parents, who also send their child to a private school (but only when they are off high school age - I don't feel that the educational difference is worth the money at primary school age At least in our area).

My mum's (state) primary sadly often have to pick up the pieces of poor private education, they get 1-3 Y5 children every year from a particular one that charges over £1k a year extra for dyslexic children that they don't give extra help (or if they do it is useless!) last year that had one Y5 boy that was reading at a Y2 level but by Christmas had caught up to Y5 level. It make me really sad to think how much happier he probably would have been if he'd gone to her school from the start instead of spending all that time struggling and feeling stupid.

Somnium

I have a wide awake baby! She has been up for the best part of an hour now chatting away or shouting and clapping! At least she is happy I suppose. Strange as she has slept till nearly 9 the past few days.

aless02

Morning! Interesting discussion all around. I grew up in a very you-should-go-to-uni culture, but I'm more inclined to fall down on the opinions of this thread because these days in the UK and USA it's far too pressured for kids to go to uni just for the sake of it. I hope I will be fully supportive whether my kids wish to pursue something vocational OR academic - so long as they have goals and push themselves!

Anyways, too much heavy stuff before breakfast and I gotta get movin'.

BrunoM

SusanC wrote: »

The thing is lots of people end up going to university purely because it is expected or the done thing rather than because it is something which would be useful to them. My husband went to university without any particular plans. Whilst he is academically able and now has a BSc and an MSc, the kind of jobs his degrees qualify him for would not really be suitable for his personality/temperament and his job does not use or require any degree. For me it is the suitability of doing a degree with relation to longer term aims that is important, not just whether they are able to achieve a certain level academically so I don't expect my children to go to university just because they have the academic ability.

There's certainly a large element of truth to this. Just for balance though - both my parents are academics, there was certainly a university expectation (not a pressure, but more as described by r.mac, a confidence that "of course I'd be able to go" and that going was better than not going).
I did not in fact pick 'the right course for me' and I only scraped by and barely forced myself not to quit, so in many respects it didn't seem like it had been worth the time and money. My degree (mathematics) is not directly relevant to a lot of jobs, and I didn't use it at all for a long time. However, the point I was long-windedly getting to, is that when I decided on a career change after ten years, that degree was without doubt the sole reason I got into the line of work I am now in, and have more than trebled my income vs most of my previous jobs.

So:
* quite a lot of (but by no means all) higher-paid jobs and jobs in certain industries are labelled as degree required (or 'preferred'). By having any degree at all at all, you're opening a door up that is otherwise pretty much closed and that might be advantageous depending on your plans for the future

* I agree that going to university is definitely not always the right/best path for people even if they are academically strong, but they will (almost) always get 'something' out of their time there - but potentially less than they would have done from spending those 3 years in work/apprenticeships/vocational training

* I guess one factor of some relevance would be the family's financial position and how much of a burden it will be to send the child to university. If it's a huge struggle to cover the costs, the child will need to be more certain that doing the degree will be an advantage for them personally.

* I thought I had some other points but they have drifted away in my miasma of feeble exhaustion. Maybe will come back at some point